Don’t Let a Noisy Setting Kill Your Connection with a Guy

Don’t Let a Noisy Setting Kill Your Connection with a GuyYou smile at a cute guy across the room. He saunters over. And you start talking.

Things are going great…

Until the music starts blaring. Making talking impossible.

And the lights dim. Making it hard to see each other.

People dance, bumping into you. Which is distracting.

Both of you are frustrated. And it’s killing the mood.

You’d ask the guy to leave with you. But you barely know him.

Bad venues are like romantic poison. They destroy your chance at making a connection.

As if finding a guy wasn’t hard enough already!

It doesn’t have to be this way. There are ways to fight back against “bad venue poison.” And even avoid it altogether. Or at least reduce your chances of running into it.

In this post, I’m going to teach you how to overcome this problem.

These simple tips will apply to both actual dates and more casual encounters. In other words, they’re useful no matter what relationship stage you’re in.

They fall into one of three categories:

  1. Planning.
  2. Rerouting.
  3. Alleviating.

Let’s start with planning.

This may seem fairly obvious. You want to plan to avoid bad venues in the first place.

But I’m going to show you exactly how to do that. Without visiting every possible date location in your city.

The place to start: review sites. They make this process easier than ever before.

It’s likely you’ve used them before. But you may not have really delved into them. Because most review sites go far beyond providing you with a general “good” or “bad” rating.

Yelp, for example, has a special column called “More business info.” There, you’ll find things like Ambience, Noise Level, and whether they serve alcohol.

Plus, you can filter and search for specific words. Things you want your venue to have. Or not.

Review sites can be invaluable. But don’t stop there.

Many venues host special events to draw people in. Trivia nights. Live music. Drink sales.

Even if a place is normally perfect for you to connect with a guy, these events can throw things off.

So do another two minutes of planning.  It’s worth it.  As the saying goes, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”  When you find a place you like, check their website and their social media pages.

Make sure the atmosphere fits your needs at the actual time you’re going.

Most of the time this will solve the bad venue problem for you. But not always.

That’s where the other two tips come in. How to escape or fix a low-quality venue when it’s blocking your conversation with an interesting guy.

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The Magical Moment That Tells Him You’re Like No One Else

The Magical Moment That Tells Him You’re Like No One ElseIt happens in every relationship.

You say something, and there’s an awkward silence. Tension descends. Something’s wrong. You don’t know what. He looks away. His mouth is tight.

Fear hits you in the gut. You’re losing him! You can’t let that happen.

What you do next tells him if this is going to be a relationship like every other…

Or if it’s going to be the one that upends everything he thought was true about love.

So what do you do when that awkward moment happens? When you notice that something you said hit him the wrong way, but you’re not sure why?

Maybe you backtrack. You keep talking, trying to rephrase the sentence or explain yourself. You talk and talk and talk until you get some reaction out of him, any reaction. Then you see him smile, and you breathe a sigh of relief. Phew … crisis over.

There’s an alternative:

Stop.

Breathe.

And face up.

“I feel like I said the wrong thing there. That wasn’t my intention.”

Wow.

How often do you think he hears that?

Not enough, that’s for sure.

Apologies are tricky. Research shows that women say sorry a lot more than men. But it’s not always for good reasons. Many women apologize for things that don’t require an apology, such as getting bumped, being offended, or taking longer to do something than expected.

When you apologize too much for trivial things, “sorry” loses its meaning.

On the other side of the spectrum, some people reserve their “sorry” for times when it really matters. It goes without saying that an apology is required after a major mistake. But most of us don’t make major mistakes that often. We can get out of the habit of saying sorry, which makes it awkward when we do have to apologize.

There’s a third way to use apologies, one that you don’t hear much about:

To acknowledge how he’s feeling.
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The Two Principles for Less Awkward Small Talk

The Two Principles for Less Awkward Small TalkYou’re out and about. You see a guy you’re interested in. You get his attention with welcoming body language. He approaches. Introductions occur. There’s a nervous, excited vibe between the two of you.

But what follows is just… nothing. Silence. Because neither of you seems to know what to say. How to start. How to draw the other person out.

Eventually you break the silence. Ask what he does. And he answers. With a single sentence. Followed by more silence.

So you ask if he likes his job. His answer: “Yes. It’s good work and I like it.” And then nothing.

Your brain races as you desperately grasp for things to say. Frustration sets in. Desperation. Embarrassment. Maybe even annoyance.

You blame yourself for not doing better. Or him for not trying harder. And it’s not long before one of you is looking for an exit.

The result: a missed connection. And probably more anxiety the next time a guy approaches. Because you do not want to go through that again.

We expect conversations to have a natural flow. A comfortable back and forth. To be smooth. Almost effortless.

When that happens, it’s like magic. Like you’re dancing with each other. Like you know the right moves without even having to ask.

Unfortunately, most initial interactions are not like this. There are stops and starts. Wrong steps as you feel each other out.

Especially if the goal is a romantic connection.

Because it makes both of you feel a bit anxious. So you’re more focused on not saying the wrong thing.

Which makes the conversation awkward. Stilted. And that can lead to one or both of you giving up and walking off.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Most people think that the secret to keeping a conversation going is to talk. But that’s not true. What you should do instead is get him talking.

You do this by using the principle of inspiration and invitation. And I’m going to show you how.

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Attract Your Perfect Mate Using Nothing More than Your Expectations

Attract Your Perfect Mate Using Nothing More than Your ExpectationsEveryone says, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

But what if that’s backwards?

What if you can’t see something until you believe it’s possible?

Let me give you an example.

Every day, men smile at women they’d secretly love to get to know better. Women smile back, thinking, he’s cute. But, because neither person believes it’s possible that the other person could feel the same way, they go their separate ways. They miss making that connection, because they don’t believe it’s possible.

Do you do that?

Take a moment to think about all the single men you cross paths with who are roughly in your age range. How many of those men would be interested in getting to know you better?

Chances are good it’s more than you think.

It’s so easy to be dismissive. A man lingers to talk to you, and you don’t think anything about it. He’s nice, you think, and you go about the rest of your day. Meanwhile, he’s cursing himself. He fumbled it, he didn’t spark any chemistry, he didn’t take the conversation further.

This can happen over and over again. Meanwhile, you’re thinking, “No one ever asks me out. I guess I’m just not that attractive.”

One of the biggest differences between women who date a lot and women who can never find a date is that women who date a lot expect men to be attracted to them.

These women have a strong belief system that goes like this:

If you’re female, of course men would be attracted to you! Men are always attracted to women. It’s a law of nature.

Women who struggle to find a date tend to believe something different:

Men are only attracted to extremely attractive women. They ignore ordinary women. If you’re ordinary, men will ignore you.

If you look for evidence of men making a beeline towards extremely attractive women and ignoring the rest, you’ll find it.

If you look for evidence of men chatting up all kinds of women, even those who aren’t conventionally attractive, you’ll find that, too.

We all tend to pick up on things that confirm what we already believe. In fact, our beliefs create our experiences to a much greater extent than we realize.
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