Granted, it sucks to get burned. You trusted someone, and they let you down.
Maybe they cheated on you. Maybe they lied. Maybe they didn’t follow-through on a really important promise.
The temptation when that happens is to allow the experience to carry over to the next dating encounter we have. That’s never a good thing.
Have you ever wondered why he likes you?
What is it about you that he enjoys most? It’s an important question to ask.
Unfortunately, a lot of people simply don’t ask. They assume they know why their partner is into them. That’s a big mistake, and here’s why.
Like the rest of us, psychologists want to know why people choose to spend time with them. In fact, they’re so invested in the question that they’ve done studies to determine what makes therapy meaningful for their clients.
Here’s where this gets interesting.
Are your dates beginning to feel a little stale and predictable? It happens. Dinner and a movie is exciting the first time you share it with someone new, but it can become ho-hum after a while.
So what do you do to inject some energy and passion into your dates? I recommend you make a date out of the process of searching for “the perfect date.” Let me explain.
Here’s how you do it. Start with a conversation. You and your partner go out to dinner with one item on the agenda. You’re going to engineer the most exciting, unforgettable date you can imagine.
And I mean that. Let your imagination run wild. This is a brainstorming conversation. No idea is too outlandish. Don’t worry about being realistic or sticking to a budget. If your perfect date would include a flight to Paris, that goes on the list. Silly things are okay, too. Still kind of fond of those Friday nights in middle school you spent at the roller skating rink? Put that on the list!
Today I want to inspire you to do something simple. It’s simple because it’s what you already do best.
But before I get to that I want to talk about the energy you bring to your relationship interactions. I’d like to challenge you to take responsibility for the energy you bring.
The term “responsible” is kind of heavy and not very fun. So maybe I’m not bringing the right energy to my writing today. Let me try again…
I’d like to challenge you to do more of what makes you awesome!
Relationships are wonderful things, yet they always have problems of one sort or another. Sometimes you can solve those problems quickly and easily, sometimes not. Either way, problems deserve some attention to see if they can be solved.
But… (and this is a big but)… You don’t want problem-solving to rob your relationship of the fun and joy it could otherwise have.