The Secret to Being Lucky in Love

The Secret to Being Lucky in LoveDo you consider yourself a lucky person?

That may sound like a silly question. Right about now I’m supposed to share some kind of useful relationship-building tip. Instead, I’m asking if you think you’re lucky.

Well, buckle up. Here comes that hard-hitting truth you ordered. Two of them, in fact.

First, luck is a real thing. It may not be what you think it is, but it IS real.

Second, seeing yourself as lucky will have measurable positive effects on your life. Conversely, seeing yourself as unlucky will hold you back.

Research psychologist Richard Wiseman did a fascinating experiment a few years ago.[i] He started by finding two groups of people. Some who saw themselves as lucky, and some who believed they were unlucky.

He gave each group the same newspaper and the same instructions. All they had to do was tell him how many pictures were in the paper.

The unlucky people averaged a couple of minutes to complete the task. The lucky people, mere seconds.

Here’s why.

On the second page of the newspaper was a huge message that said, “Stop counting. There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.” The lucky people saw it while the unlucky completely missed it.

Based on that experiment and others, Wiseman concluded that luck is primarily a matter of perspective.

Lucky people are OPEN to chance opportunities. They EXPECT good things to happen. As a result, they tend to catch things that unlucky people don’t.

If you apply that simple truth to dating, it can have a tremendous impact. Let me show you how…

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How to Deal with Him when He’s Stressed Out

How to Deal with Him when He's Stressed OutYou already know that guys and girls handle stress differently. You’ve seen that reality in action.

Think about the last time your guy had a really chaotic day. Maybe things went sideways on him at work, or his car broke down, or there was some kind of family drama. How did he handle it?

If he’s like most guys, he went into problem-solving mode. That’s what guys do. And it often involves being short or ignoring you.

By contrast, women tend to seek empathy and relational connection when they’re stressed. That’s why you feel compelled to talk to a trusted friend on bad days.

But the difference goes even deeper.

When guys are stressed, they get very pragmatic. Emotions get in the way of problem-solving. So, he’ll repress his feelings to give himself the mental space to find a solution. [i]

Which technique is better? Neither. They’re just different. But the difference is crucial.

How crucial? I’ll put it this way. If you don’t have a strategy for dealing with him when he’s stressed, the two of you could end up butting heads when he needs your support the most.

So how do you handle a stressed out guy?

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The Only Proven Way to Improve Your Relationship

The Only Proven Way to Improve Your RelationshipDid you know there’s only one technique for improving relationships that’s actually been proven to work?

That’s right. Just one.

I know what you’re thinking. I suggest tips for making your relationship better all the time. Not only that, but I back up my suggestions with research. How can there be only ONE surefire method?

It all comes down to the limitations of studying relationships.

The vast majority of studies rely on the concept of correlation. Correlation is not the same as causality.

It’s fairly easy for researchers to identify the typical characteristics of successful relationships. Couples that are happy tend to have good communication, for example. But that’s correlation. It’s not the same as proving that good communication causes healthy relationships.

Sure, it stands to reason that patterning your relationship after other healthy relationships will improve your connection with your guy.

But in a sense, even the best studies on romantic bliss are just educated guesses. Very well educated guesses, but guesses all the same.

Except for one.

According to a study done back in 2000, the key to making your relationship better is to do new and interesting things with your partner on a regular basis.[i]

Granted, that study is more than 15 years old, but that’s a good thing. Its conclusions have stood the test of time.[ii]

Just make sure you don’t miss the two most important details.

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Do Men Go for Rebellious Women?

Do Men Go for Rebellious Women?You know the iconic image.

James Dean in a white t-shirt and leather jacket with his hair combed back sloppily. He has a look of casual indifference. There’s a cigarette dangling from his lip.

He’s a rebel. You can tell by looking at him. And because he’s a rebel…women find him kind of sexy.

But what you probably don’t know is that men are feel attracted to rebels too.

If that’s news to you, you’re not alone. According to a 2015 study[i], most women share the same misconception about what men want.

Even though women like the idea of dating a rebel, they think guys are on the prowl for conformists.

The truth is the average guy isn’t looking for a cookie-cutter girl. He wants someone who isn’t afraid to stand out.

But before you run to your closet and start tearing rips in all your jeans, consider what it is that makes rebellious guys attractive. Is it just the fact that they refuse to fit in, or is it something more?

Sure, there’s an air of excitement around the idea of dating a bad boy. But unless you’re a glutton for punishment, you don’t want to date an actual jerk. You just want to date someone who isn’t like every other boring clone out there.

Said another way, you want to date someone who is interesting and different and unique.

Guys want that, too.

But there’s a right way and a wrong way to play the part of a rebel.  So, (you guessed it) I have some tips.

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