What Isn’t Being Said

What isn't being said in a relationship.Peter Drucker, the well-known business guru, once said, “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.”

In other words, you have to know how to read between the lines.

That’s true in any situation where two people interact, and it’s especially true in romantic relationships. Why? Because so much of communication is what the other person isn’t saying.

Continue reading

When he clams up, do this.

When he clams up in a relationship.Men sometimes clam up. Try as hard as you want, there are times when it feels impossible to get your guy to talk.

You’ve likely been there. You know something is bothering him. You’re sure of it. Maybe you know of a specific issue he’s dealing with, or maybe he’s just being distant. Either way, all the signs are there. He’s got a lot going on in his mind, but he won’t let you in.

If you try to pry information out of him, he doesn’t respond well. When you ask how he’s doing, he answers in a single word: “Fine.” It can be infuriating, and even scary.

If he won’t talk to you, what does that mean about your relationship? Is this a sign that something is really wrong?

Continue reading

Apology Hacking

Apology HackingWhich of these apologies sounds more powerful coming from your man?

“I’m sorry your feelings got hurt.”

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”

Have you ever gotten an apology that didn’t feel like an apology at all?

It didn’t really make you feel better, did it?

Apologies with qualifiers don’t work. Okay, so they kind of work. At bare minimum, they demonstrate an attempt to mend things. But they also come off sounding insincere. It’s a missed opportunity for healing.

Continue reading

Not Your Reality

Not Your RealitySinger Tyrese Gibson recently went on a rant about how the media portrays relationships. Especially so-called reality TV shows.

“You find yourself arguing and having issues at your house and in your marriage and in your family that are directly influenced from the sh*t that you’re seeing on TV. You don’t even know it.”

Granted, Tyrese may not be the ideal relationship coach, but he actually makes a good point. Reality TV should not be your reality. You need to focus on something more positive.

Reality TV is nothing if not negative. After all, the ‘human drama’ of reality TV tends to zero in on those times when things go poorly. Epic fights and door-slamming arguments crank up the ratings. Sadly, it seems watching others mismanage their relationships is what keeps us tuned in.

Gibson argues that the cumulative effect of all that negativity is that it seeps into our lives. Before long, all that bad juju starts to impact how you think about your man. You can’t feed on a diet of cynicism and expect to stay positive! Eventually, it’ll get to you.

And it’s not just reality TV. There’s negative stuff about relationships in just about every form of media.

This is why you really need to remove some of that negativity from your life and replace it with something more uplifting.

Continue reading