Not too long ago, I read an article[i] in a well-known women’s magazine that was full of shady suggestions. Here’s one of the worst.
The writer claimed you should never have to ask how to stoke the passion in your love life. “Really, really good relationships” are always spicy, she claimed. “If you’re not seeing fireworks every time he walks into the room, it might be time to move on.”
There’s only one time a lack of passion is a red flag—right at the beginning of a relationship. If there’s no spark while you’re getting to know him, maybe he’s not the guy for you.
But if you’ve been with someone a while, there are going to be lulls. It’s inevitable. A dip in passion doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed.
Keeping the passion alive takes work.
As you get comfortable in your relationship, it’s easy to slack off a bit. If that’s happened to you, here are three easy ways[ii] to put a little oomph back into the mix.
- Do something new together.
By that, I mean something new to both of you.
That could be ballroom dancing lessons, a cooking class, checking out a new outdoor activity like rock climbing, or even a weekend trip to somewhere unknown. The idea is to create a completely new shared experience.
Tackling an adventure together will almost always revive a sense of excitement.
- Dress for the relationship you want, not the relationship you have.
Being comfortable around your man is a good thing. It’s totally okay to break out your trusty, old, worn-out sweatpants. Sometimes.
But it’s important to remember how much effort you put into your appearance on the front end of the relationship, too.
Talk to long-time couples who are still smoldering, and you’ll typically find folks who still get dressed up for each other, still pay attention to the kind of shape they’re in, and still make an effort to be sexy when it’s time to get intimate.
If you want passion, dress for it. He’ll notice, and he’ll appreciate the effort.
- Don’t try to make every kiss mean something.
It’s great when a kiss leaves you feeling like you’ve connected to the other person’s soul, but let’s be realistic. Every kiss isn’t going to be that way. Stop trying to make that happen.
Instead, unleash your lust.
Whatever level of intimacy your relationship is at, let go of the need for every physical expression to be deeply meaningful. Kiss him just to awaken the physical passion, even if it’s not always deeply rooted in a romantic moment.
Make out on the couch. Talk to him about the things you enjoy from him on a physical level.
Knock-your-socks-off intimacy is a combination of emotional connection and raw desire. Make sure you have both.
There are probably a gazillion other ways to keep the fires of passion burning. That said, these three are rock-solid.
So if you’re looking to reignite your relationship, pause and consider these. Don’t just read and nod. Take 30 seconds to ponder how you might put just one of these ideas into action within the next 7 days.
Always on your side,
[i] Tullo, Danielle. “13 Things Not to Say to Someone Who’s Always in a Relationship.” Cosmopolitan. N.p., 02 Oct. 2015. Web. 08 Mar. 2016. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a47194/things-not-to-say-to-someone-always-in-relationships/.
[ii] Valentine, Susan. “12 Ways to Reignite the Passion in Your Relationship.” The Huffington Post. N.p., 22 Oct. 2013. Web. 08 Mar. 2016. http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/susan-valentine/passionate-marriage_b_4138597.html