3 Ways to Be a Woman Unlike Any Other

why men pick certain women over othersIt’s a mystery why men pick one woman to marry over all the others.

Some men go through one amazing girlfriend after another. It never works out. Then one day he meets someone, and that’s it. He’s ready to pop the question.

What makes her different from all the other women he’s been with?

From outside the relationship, it’s hard to see. If you compare this woman to his previous girlfriends, you might not see much of a difference. In fact, his fiancé may seem to have less going for her. Outsiders might think he picked the wrong girl.

But he didn’t.

Here’s a little-known insight about dating:

When it comes to marriage, a man’s aim is not to find the best girl out of all the girls he’s dated. Instead, his goal is to find the best relationship.

That distinction is crucial.

We don’t pick a person. We pick the relationship we have with that person.

Love is not like judging a beauty pageant. A man doesn’t sit there and watch women parade by, assessing their qualities on a scorecard and asking out the winner.

Love is an experience. It unfolds as two people come together and interact with one another over time.

Think of it like a chemical reaction. You could pick your best two chemicals and mix them together, hoping for a favorable reaction. But you’d have better luck testing various combinations until you found your desired reaction.

That’s why we date.

We date to experience what it’s like to be with different people. We learn what we like and what we don’t like.

In the end, we come to understand that the objective qualities of a person matter less than how we feel when we’re together.

So how can you make a man feel hooked from the moment you meet?

Here are three ideas.

  1. Introduce him to new things.

There are two things all of us look for in a new relationship:

  • We want to know we have something in common with the other person, and
  • We want to know we won’t get bored.

Most of us do quite well with the first. We find out quickly how much we have in common. Liking the same TV shows, music or books gives us something to talk about.

But the second is more difficult.

If you’re too similar to another person, there’s not enough novelty to keep things interesting. You want someone who’s different enough to you that a relationship will be exciting.

So don’t be afraid of being different to your date. Your differences won’t drive him away; they might just intrigue him.

Share your interests and passions, even if they’re totally off his radar. Offer to introduce him to places he’s never been or activities he’s never tried. Give your time together a dose of novelty, and he’ll find it hard to forget you.

  1. Expect something from him.

Back in a different era, men had to prove themselves while courting a lady. They were expected to open the door for her and offer her a hand. A man who didn’t make these gestures wasn’t a gentleman.

Times have moved on, and that’s a good thing. But men still carry a deep need to prove themselves to women. A woman’s high standards help a man rise to the occasion. He sees that she’s not going to be content being treated like every other woman he’s met.

Only you can decide what standards feel right to you. But, once you’ve decided, don’t relax them simply because you really like someone. Expect a certain standard of behavior from him, and he’ll treat you the way you deserve.

  1. Let there be silence.

Life is fast these days. We’re busy talking, eating, gesturing, and engrossed in an activity. We don’t often have time during a date to check in with how we feel.

But it’s in those quiet times when no one is speaking that we can really sense how we feel in another person’s company.

It takes a lot of courage to be present during a natural pause in the conversation. It’s tempting to fill that gap with words or activity.

Silence can be scary because it reveals the truth about how we feel.

why men pick certain women over othersBe courageous. Don’t break the silence. Give him space to check in with himself. Check in with your own feelings, too. How does it feel to be with him? Is it comfortable? Awkward?

After all, the way you feel with him matters just as much as how he feels with you. You’re looking for a relationship that feels good to you, not a man who looks good on paper.

You don’t need to be perfect. He doesn’t need to be perfect. But you should feel fantastic together.

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6 thoughts on “3 Ways to Be a Woman Unlike Any Other

  1. Michelle said:

    I really liked this article

    ~ M

  2. Aaron mlndrz said:

    Hi, James
    I found this information most use full I’ve already began to use some of your points that I think would help me out in my situation..on your views #1it makes sense no one likes being bored .If your to much alike theres nothing new going its the same all the time Boring!! introducing new things is fun exciting like an adventure#3 in my case I’m the one breaking the silence so wrong usually I end up saying something lame I’m learning to shut the heck up let him break the silence .Thanx for the great information..

  3. Molly said:

    Very well written piece! These
    three tips may very well be the core fundamentals of how to sustain a healthy relationship.

  4. Linda Marie said:

    Hi James, I like your wisdom and insights….but am not too fond of either logo. So, if given the chance, I would have clicked on option three — neither of the above!

    Meanwhile, my compliments on another thoughtful and well-written piece. As I am single again, and in my 60’s, it’s very good to be reminded that one’s standards and the ease in being together with someone (or lack of it) are of the utmost importance. The field definitely thins out in this age group, and it’s easy to make excuses for someone’s behavior and possibly see more pro’s than cons.

  5. Linda Marie said:

    Hi James, I like your wisdom and insights….but am not too fond of either logo. So, if given the chance, I would have clicked on option three — neither of the above!

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