A Dating Lesson From Sir Lancelot: A Method For Winning Hearts

embracing your passion

It’s both a love story and an action movie.  Richard Gere’s portrayal of Lancelot was fantastic, and the pain you feel for King Arthur (played by Sean Connery)  is only matched by the longing to see Guinevere and Lancelot give in to the heart-pounding lust they feel for each other.

In the opening scene we discover Lancelot dueling commoners with his broadsword to make money.  After easily defeating each of the brave men that stepped forward, one man in particular wanted to know how he had managed a particular maneuver that disarmed him.

He was fascinated by the skill that had just rendered him defenseless.  He craved the knowledge that could give him equal power.

You may remember Lancelot’s reply.  It became a theme in the plot of the story, responsible for his rapid rise in King Arthur’s Court and the passionate relationship with Guinevere.

Lancelot showed the young man the technique, and explained that its successful execution required something special.  He said, “You must not care whether you live or die.”

This is how he approached his relationship with Guinevere.  He brought a level of passion and persistence that could not be ignored despite seemingly insurmountable challenges.  He poured his very being into his love for Guinevere, knowing full well that if his passion was denied his heart would break.  Those are high-stakes to be playing with.

embracing your passionHere’s the lesson.  When you allow yourself to truly desire a man, your fear will rise to match the level of desire you feel.  Think about that.  The more you want something, the more you become afraid of losing it.  It’s unfortunate but true that men can sense a woman’s fear, often mentally interpreting it as a clingy neediness or trap.

Men value freedom above all else.  It’s one of the things that make men act differently than women.  They like to feel in control of their world.  They don’t like to answer to anyone.

When you approach a man you desire, you must strive to bring a special kind of fearless passion.  While pouring your heart and life into every interaction, you must not care whether the relationship lives or dies.  Do this and you will become intoxicating to him.

He will sense it when you achieve this.  No, that’s wrong.  Sensing something is like a tingling awareness.  His experience will be more like the first breath of oxygen after holding his breath underwater for two minutes.  It will be profoundly different from the smothering fear he has experienced as he contemplates dating other women. 

Men do not want to be trapped, but I’m sure you have known a man who repeatedly said they just weren’t ready for a commitment, only to get engaged two months after meeting someone that swept him off his feet.

How do you pull it off?  How do you create an experience for a man (and yourself for that matter) of life-affirming passion paired with the freedom of reckless abandon?

These are the secrets of Irresistible attraction.  Your instincts and intuition will teach you the way if you start today and strive each following day to bring these qualities to your interactions with men.  You can also speed your learning curve with some techniques that make the process easier in our training materials available here.

Rooting for your passionate embrace of all that life has to offer,

James Bauer

His Secret Obsession

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It's something he CRAVES... More than love, more than money, even more than sex.

This one secret obsession holds the key to winning a man's love, attention, and total devotion for LIFE but not one woman in a thousand even knows it exists!

And those that do almost never share it with another soul.

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179 thoughts on “A Dating Lesson From Sir Lancelot: A Method For Winning Hearts

  1. paula gentry said:

    I am currently redating a man again after 20 some year. we have been together for 2 3/4 year now. He always asks me your really do love me don’t you and why. so I tell him why for his mind and heart. We are both kinda free spirit so we understand each other I thought. but recently he said we need to talk about a love note I sent him. and he mention that I had gain a little weight. I turn 49 next week have a sit down job so kinda hard to keep weight in check, but I told him that I weight no more than when we first got together. The next day he apoligized for saying that but now I feel like he pulling away. Doesn’t respond to my text but will call in a day. I am always very happy and say hi honey how are you? we work different shifts so it kinda tough to see each other. but when we go out he has pushed me away when I show him that he is the most important person in my life. most of the time we are with his friend. I could write a book.

    • Cherry said:

      You should have told him it’s just more of you to love but you are working on losing the pounds but never put him first in a decision whether you’re too big or too small let that be your choice “love me for who I am” and stop feeling like he’s pushing you away that’s your typical woman thing men like women of strength

  2. Rayan said:

    I saw your book his secret obsession and I wanted to buy it but they advised me the other book called relationship rewrite I’m still confused ..by the way the last time I asked for his help he said he is busy his nature of his job requires to stay sometime at the rural area I really don’t know what is the best way to achieve what I want

    • James Bauer said:

      Hi Rayan. I would agree with the advice you received from our relationship coaches who recommended you go through my Relationship Rewrite course. The main reason is because it addresses the frustrating situation where it’s hard to even get interaction and communication going with him. right now.

      Also, watch for opportunities to show him that you respect his work ethic. Sometimes a man like this feels his work accomplishments would be threatened by a relationship with someone like you who values quality time as a primary love language. He may feel he has to choose between you and work success. By communicating that you value what he does and how hard he works, you make it easier for him to see that you are not actually a threat to his career goals.


      • Rayan said:

        Your right I will look for opportunity to deliver the message I respect his work and appreciate what he is doing ..I already bought the relationship rewrite method and saw all details but I don’t know I’m frustrated because I tried to communicate him about second chance he said he can’t meet my expectation also he said every time we open this article he bothered but my main question is when I communicate with him should I tell him that I need work advise or trying to connect as personal and which stage exactly from the six stages I’m in ..I really confused today I watched the three hours videos and I really learn some new techniques but as you said every person has unique situation I tried to communicate to him last time and he said he is very busy working in the field because he is helpful person I thought if I said I need his help in business he will do ..but the relationship goes through many ups and downs specially after I resigned from my job ..mainly because we failed to communicate during the breakup and he advised me not to do my own business and I started to do not because I don’t want to listen to him it’s because I already left my job he was being very negetive to my business advises recently so I’m confused about which steps I should start with because I feel I scape several steps I asked for fever and I failed to connect I think in his mind he convinced him self he can’t meet my expectation and I don’t know how to change this beside I’m thinking to invite him for coffee I have this new biscuit cup for coffee but I don’t want him to feel it’s strange I tried to no contact rule and it didn’t work for me maybe because after the period end I asked for business advise sometimes I feel it’s too late to go back

      • Rayan Ahmed said:

        I went to details of relationship rewrite I enjoyed very mush I saw the technique it clicks in my head the goal technique in the book we don’t have common enemy but he was my consultant caring about my career and the company objective I resigned in the middle of the world sight day project and he had some tension through emails and I left the topic respect that your were talking about yesterday it clicks with the situation I wanted to prove that I respect him and listening to him as he was leading the project that I left in addition to that I want to make use of this chance to share my concepts about the coming world sight day preparations and to show that we have common goal toward the company if that makes sense it’s CSR initiative what is your advise about that what I understood from the book it’s not only for common enemies right it can be toward simliar goal

  3. Rayan said:

    By the way he truly supported me when I joined the company and although he didn’t get pay from the company but he was very supportive to me and positive things went down so quickly because he travelled although I appreciate the act of service very mush but my first language was quality time when he travelled without asking me although we are still connecting for work purpose i was really upset and ended the relationship when I regret and tried to have another chance my request was it’s not too mush to expect to have twice per week quality time it’s seems for him it’s difficult because of his work circumstances he thinks I’m not patient so I don’t know if he can really consider to give it another try because his actions says he syill

  4. Rayan said:

    Hello James
    I tried to connect with my ex boy friend and he was consultant for my ex company for me but I failed to have a second chance the book he loves me but he is too busy describe my case he left in business trip without asking about me when he returned from the trip I told him I deserve better treatment so he was upset from the way I brokeup with him message when I asked for second chance he said he doesn’t believe he would be able to meet my expectation we continued working together but it wasn’t smooth communication till I resigned ..now he is still my consultant but his advise becoming very negative by the way I took private session with kanya before in your private session area she said I should say I changed by action but my question is how can I show him I changed by action if there is no communication right and I left the work he said he still likes me but he can’t believe he would be able to meet my expectation

  5. Eriselda Barbie LEyva said:

    Hello, I am from Cuba, interesting history and subject to know, I am interested in getting the lessons, I am a woman of 48 years but I do not feel with enough experience, here in my country men are macho and they believe the kings, with 2 And three women to whom I do not adapt. I have a relationship from a distance that I want and wanted very much, we have not maintained physical contact only by mobile and faceboock, I can do for this couple to project more towards this relationship, what are the lessons to take, I wait for your help.

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