Hey, it’s James with a tip for the early phase of a dating relationship.
“So, what do you do for fun?” It’s a question that usually comes a little while after, “What do you do for a living?” and, “Where are you from?”
Few people are adequately prepared to answer this crucial question. Most people, when put on the spot, stammer something vague like, “Uh…I don’t know. I guess I like to hang out with friends, um… or read a good book, or…um…I don’t know. The usual stuff I guess.”
This is a pretty lame answer. Of the three “get to know you” questions I mentioned before, which is most likely to directly influence his experience while dating you?
1.Where you are from?
2.What you do for a living?
3.What you do for fun?
You could make the argument that if he settles down with you and marries you, what you do for a living could have a significant impact on his life. But when he is just beginning to show interest in you, your relationship is nowhere near a point where your career is going to directly affect his experience of being in your presence.
When you spend time hanging out with your boyfriend, you are basically just trying to enjoy life together. You’re trying to have fun. One of the reasons we seek out relationships is because most things we do for fun become even more fun when done together.
Take just a moment right now to prepare your mind to give a really great answer to the question, “What do you do for fun?”
Don’t get stuck listing generic past times. Instead, focus on the idea of fun itself.
What do I mean by “fun itself?” I mean you should focus your response on describing the emotional experience of fun. Here’s an example:
“Oh man! That’s my favorite question, Barry. I love trying new things. I’m always searching the bulletin boards around town to see who’s offering a course on something I’ve never done before, like sailing or impromptu acting, or a French pastry baking course on Thursday nights. It’s that feeling of excitement when you’re getting ready to walk out the door to explore something new. I love that feeling! I also love the comfort of sitting on my big couch with a couple of my friends and just talking about whatever comes up. Nowhere to go, nothing to do, just cozy, relaxed enjoyment of the moment. ”
Let him experience the way you light up and vibrantly enjoy talking about things you do in your recreational time. This will serve as a powerful magnetic attraction factor for a man. Men are into fun. Men are into adventure. They like a woman who embraces the fun things in life.
A tiny bit of time spent practicing an answer to this question will have a huge payoff in your dating life.
I hope you will also ask him the same question. You’ll be surprised at how much you can learn about him by focusing on what happens to his energy level when you ask him what he does in his time off.
That’s when you’ll be spending time with him, after all. After work. So invest in getting to know that side of his personality. And make sure you’re ready to show off your own fun side when the opportunity comes up.