Happier and Thinner

Brave woman standing on cliffHey its James. I hope this post will inspire you to take one simple action…exercise.

If the effects of physical exercise could be bottled and sold in the form of a pill, sales of that pill would exceed all other medications combined. Physical exercise is now included in the top-tier most effective interventions not just for heart disease, diabetes, weight loss, and high blood pressure, but for generalized anxiety, depression, and dementia.

A fit body and a happy mood are two of the most influential factors when it comes to attracting a quality man into your life. If you struggle with the stress of life, exercise will help you keep a positive outlook on life and improve your sleep quality. If you could stand to lose a few pounds, exercise will change key hormones in your body that influence something called “calorie partitioning.” Calorie partitioning determines how many of the calories you consume go toward fat storage versus repairing muscle tissue and energy production. Of course, it burns off some calories as well.

Did you know that the popular antidepressant drug, Prozac could not beat twenty minutes of cardiovascular exercise four times per week as a treatment for depression? It also beat or match all the other antidepressant drugs it has ever been compared to in clinical trials. In other words, exercise helps us maintain a positive mood.

For that reason alone, exercise is worthwhile. But when you combine that with the fact that it makes weight loss easier, makes your clothes fit better, and reduces your risk for all kinds of diseases, it just makes sense to build it into your daily routine.

Does the thought of exercising overwhelm you? Let me challenge you to set a very small goal that doesn’t feel overwhelming. If you’re not already exercising four days out of seven, start by doing just ten minutes of strength-building exercise in your living room. Use a motivating DVD or just do situps, pushups, and standing lunges.

Do it before you put on your makeup each morning so you don’t resist it simply to avoid having to shower and redo your hair and makeup. It’s harder to exercise in the mornings, but if you don’t you just won’t get around to it.

The key is to build those ten minutes into your daily routine just like brushing your teeth or checking your mail. If it’s not a part of your daily routine, you just won’t do it. Other things that seem more urgent will get in the way.

You can increase your exercise duration later. For now, just start. Get it into your routine. Do just five minutes if that’s all you can easily manage right now. You’ll find your energy improves, your mood improves, and you’ll find it easier to extend the duration of your exercise as those benefits unfold in your life.

Just looking out for you as always,


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25 thoughts on “Happier and Thinner

  1. susan said:

    Thank you. Always appreciate your insite. I am working my way toward a more positive relationship. Hard to let go of the comfortable. But always enjoy your information and get a mental “push” from your emails. Will say that internet dating sites are hard to be brave with!

  2. Cindy said:

    Yes. Thi s is dead on. Helps to start not just your dating experiences but getting off on the right foot with all aspects of your life!! Good job. Cindy

  3. Ludah Gaabinelwe said:

    I really appreciate the job you are doing James,I like this when it comes be bold and putting up a brave mindset, I am working on my way to come out of my comfort zone!!!thank you.Ludah

  4. Fen said:

    You have hit the nail on the head.. spot on. I didn’t even realise this was my problem. It was not fear of past boyfriends or even what they had done to me (one has particularly mis- behaved). I am not a negative person. It REALLY IS a genuine feminine fear of the new and the leap of faith that is required in relationships some times Like jumping off that cliff and hoping the chute opens (because some one tells you it will, not because you have practised a lot). This little ‘ by the way’ solves a lot of problems for me. Thank you. xx

  5. Penny said:

    What a great thought – I’ll try this!

  6. Alessa said:

    Wow james ,its seems like you put this out there for me its touched my heart that’s exactly how I feel,for now on I will try to change my way to think ,and starting to working on my fears that really is what keeps me from not moving forward thank you so much ,like I said your the best!!God bless you

  7. yi said:

    thanks so much! you are great!

  8. Jae said:

    I’m in a new relationship now with this overwhelming fear always there. The fear he’ll find someone better or the fear that he’ll just leave. I really lack the confidence that says I can be a great partner. This doesn’t happen in all relationships, but just the ones where I believe the man has more to offer me than I do him. I can’t always find my value and what I bring to the table.

    James, do you have any material that helps identify my worth?

    • James Bauer said:

      Hi Jae. I am working on something of that nature right now. I hope to have it ready for you soon. Please recognize that what you bring to the table has infinite worth. I’m talking about your intention to make another human happy, to make him feel important to someone who loves him. Your attitude is golden. It is the attitude that forms priceless relationships. That is all you need to bring for a relationship to have more worth than good looks, money, intelligence, or anything else.

      • Maria M said:

        I like this post, and I really like this reply to Jae as well. I now have this taped to my wall so that I see it every day. Thank you for your mindful words and inspiring motivation!

  9. Wow this was just what I needed to hear today. It certainly applies to dating but really applies to life in general. Thanks for the much needed reminder to focus on the positive. It’s too easy to get weighed down with the negative.

  10. Jackie said:

    Thanks so much for letting me realize my fear of just been hurt all over again, I’ll try focus on the positive again and i think I’ll be happy in love.

  11. kathrina commy hebzubah izobs said:

    Thank you james you are beautiful,i will put on my brave mindset and move out of my comfort zone,thanks again kathrina commy hebzubah izobs

  12. Jay said:

    There is definitely a difference in focusing on positive, rather than trying to avoid negative. In positive thinking, one has a goal, purpose, and intention towards something that brings one pleasure, While avoiding negative, one carries a negative attitude toward life, depends more on luck that the negative won’t happen, and the thoughts of intention are non existent. In avoiding the negative, all energy is focus on the negative feeling. Our bodies will react biochemically by putting out chemical that make us feel good, or bad depending on how our mind is thinking. Think oxytocin (love chemical) vs. fight or flight type chemicals in your body. And which chemical is good for relationships?

  13. Himani said:

    Hello James,
    It is very reassuring to read your mails. Truly insightful and implementable. I am looking for true love and commitment and your insights have taught me a lot.

  14. Tina said:

    Hi James, About six months ago I meet a
    lovely man ,he told me that he wasnt interested in meeting anyone when we introduced. But came over to me later wanting to get to know me, we chattered and laughed for hours,then I had to leave
    and told him that I really enjoyed meeting him. He asked if I would be interested in popping into his place for a visit sometime.No numbers were exchanged. A month later I saw him watching me across the road (my eye sights crappy) I didn’t realise it was him until I drove past. My question is, is it brave or unwise to find his phone number and say hello.

    • James Bauer said:

      I think you should do it, Tina. But do it while keeping in mind that he has some level of hesitancy about being in a relationship right now. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket with this guy, but let him be a prospect in case he wants to get to know you better.

  15. Trudy said:

    Thank you so much for the very wise comments you post to make everyone’s life better. We all want to love and be loved in return, but in order to make that happen we have to be lovable, and we have to be wise with our speech and actions. This is what you are generously teaching us, and I am very grateful for your loving help in making this come to pass for so many of us. Blessings to you! Trudy

  16. Ng said:

    Thanks though,iam so motivated and well equiped now. I have been in an abusive relationship before now not knowing how to stand up (be-brave )for what i wanted in a relationship. but with all your teachings of which i have applied, i am happy. but the question is this, should i move on and, get a fresh and new relationship where i can applied all youe metod and be happy for as long as i want or could i give this one i am in already a second chance without knowing if the abusiveness will re-occure.Ng

    • judith said:

      Have the changes you have made Made the relationship change? Your changes should initiate changes. If so how many. Is this satisfactory to you?
      sometimes we just need to leave and not wait endlessly for it to get better..

  17. michele said:

    Hi James. I can see that focus technique working in the dating/relationship arena (which I am not – dating or in a relationship). An individual can use this same formula when trying anything new, like taking dancing lessons or facing a challenge – like an interview or taking a test. I think Attitude is 40 percent of everything we do, 50% is homework/research ; 10% is action.

  18. Quite a push I must say…
    I have been struggling with a break up I have been wanting to reverse. There have been times when I feel defeated and want to give up. I love the guy immensely. He called it off over misunderstandings and just doesn’t want to clear the mess we made in the past. He is like a bull. It has been 5 months since I’ve been struggling to get his audience.
    This article just gave me a reason to keep this suicide mission going. Thank you!

  19. Lorraine said:

    Thankyou for your enlightening insights…I love it when your emails come through …it’s a worthwhile read and it makes me want to read more.

    It is thought provoking and this year has been a year of bravery and stepping out of my comfort zone on so many different levels including the world of dating…where I kind of embarked on the journey with a sort of mindset of all men are bastards (it had shifted already somewhat) to exploring that I could love other men despite the love i felt in my heart for the one who I could not be with. This happened again and it took bravery to step out again. I also realized that I needed to look at me and how I choose to react or respond to a given situation especially when I opened my heart to a man and it not being reciprocated….yes its life but gosh it hurt and still does….too have to continue dating with loves in your heart.

    Also learnt it takes bravery to say no to a man as well as accept no from a man and as you said it takes bravery to say no to pain and yes to pleasure…both walk in the same direction…Thankyou…very encouraging.

    At times I feel it seems still to be a man’s world where they have the say…I would love to see a little more negotiation taking place….yet a man is also faced with a woman saying no….also there seem to be many men who are players and we live in a world of enjoy now pay later.

    I wonder if I was to have coaching with you what steps of bravery you would challenge me on ….the only set back i do have is a cash flow situation so I am constantly challenging myself through tears and laughter…little laughter at present but I keep on arriving at a deeper contentment within despite the desire of my heart not being met at present….I keep on believing….

    Keep up the great blogs and emails…love them

    Thanks James


  20. MINNIE said:


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