how to be friendlierHere’s a fun experiment.

Treat everyone you meet today as if you secretly know they are going to turn out to be a close friend you can love and trust.

Guess what happens when you do this?

A deeply rooted instinct gets triggered inside you. It’s an instinct that has to do with your sense of meaning and purpose.

It’s natural that most of us exist primarily in a world of self-protection. It’s something we do in our mind more than anything else.

Our daily interactions are primarily self-centered. I don’t mean that as any kind of harsh criticism. It’s just the reality of being human.

We naturally focus on our own personal goals. Most of those goals relate to gratifying personal needs and desires.

Something interesting happens when we begin to purposefully think of others as close friends or family members. Here’s what changes.

Our interactions suddenly take on a deeper sense of meaning when we learn how to be friendlier towards others.

What happens next is a domino effect.

Deeply listening suddenly becomes automatic. You don’t even have to try.

Interacting with them suddenly becomes fun. It feels meaningful because you want to give as much as you can in the relationship. You get a positive sense of meaning from enhancing the other person’s life.

These are your core relationship instincts. They sometimes get suppressed when we’re so busy with our computers, smart phones, and internal world of thoughts.

No, I don’t expect you to do this 100% of the time. But just practicing this once in a while can be good for you, especially if you are openly looking for romantic connection with someone special.

Here’s how it helps. Anything you practice becomes more dominant in your mind. If you practice thinking grumpy thoughts, those thoughts gradually become quicker to surface in your mind.

When you practice looking for business opportunities, your mind gets better at recognizing those opportunities in your environment. When you practice meditation, you get better at quickly sidestepping tension and centering your thoughts on something peaceful.

Get in the habit of treating people like they are bound to become a good friend and something wonderful happens.

Through the process of self-suggestion you gradually start to feel like the world actually is a friendlier place.

And here’s where the domino effect gets really interesting.

After practicing for a very short time, it stops feeling like you’re faking it.

You don’t have to imagine it as much as you did when you first started practicing this way of interacting with people. As a result, you actually feel friendlier than you did before.

People sense that, and they start to act more friendly toward you in turn because you’ve learned how to be friendlier yourself.

Your mind and body begin to exist in a world that is literally friendlier. Your immune system responds positively to the sense of community. Without doing anything special you feel as if your life has meaning. A sense of meaning gives you more energy. After all, you care about the people around you, so the way you treat them takes on significance.

Before you know it, you discover you have become the kind of person everyone looks up to. Your confidence naturally rises as a result. With increased confidence, you appear more charismatic to others.

You laugh more easily and often. The muscles in your face begin to reflect your habitual smile and cheerful disposition.

how to be friendlierRegardless of the stress and difficulty you face in life, you still look forward to a brief conversation with Irma at the bakery around the corner. Her face lights up every time she sees you.

This positive anticipation adds an energetic and cheerful bounce to your step as you walk to the bakery on a Thursday afternoon.

So it’s no wonder a man passing you on the street looks over his shoulder and thinks, “Man, I wish I could meet a woman like that.”

Then he notices you turn into the bakery and suddenly decides it would be a good day to pick up a few bagels.

I know; it sounds like a bit of a stretch when I stack all these benefits like this. But this is the essence of what it means to become irresistible. It’s what we teach at beirresistible.com.

And even if I’m totally wrong about all this, what do you really have to lose?

Be mindful of what you practice today. It could have an impact on your tomorrow.

Your friend,

James