How to Get a Guy to Like You FAST

How to Get a Guy to Like You FASTHow do you make a lasting impression when you only get 60 seconds?

That’s all the time it takes for people to start judging you. It’s an insanely short window.

Take Jessica as an example. She’s single and interested in meeting someone new. So she goes out, mingles, and tries to stay socially plugged in.

Recently, she was at a happy hour with some friends. They got into a conversation with some guys at the next table. They talked for a bit, and then the men moved on.

When you’re single, opportunities to meet someone can pop up and vanish just that quickly. You get a few minutes of conversation at most. That’s it.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in a typical social environment, like a bar, or somewhere else, like the gym, the breakroom at work, or even the grocery store. If you meet a guy you’d like to get to know better, you get one shot at a first impression.

How do you make it count?

There are several psychological hacks[i] you can use to make the most of those moments. These aren’t tricks or traps. I would never suggest that you deceive a guy you’re interested in.

Instead, these are ways to fast-track showing him the kind of person you are. And at the same time, you’ll get to find out what kind of person he is.

If you want to make the most of an opportunity for romance, the following three hacks will help nail that first impression.

Continue reading

The Truth about Men, Women, and Talking

how to communicate with your partnerWhen men don’t talk enough, women often feel rejected.

Is there a fix to this common source of couple’s conflict?

First, let’s consider the source of the problem.

There’s a common assumption that women talk more than men—much more! But this may not be true.

First, who talks more depends a great deal on the situation.

Most studies report that women tend to talk more than men at home. In professional settings, the opposite holds true. Here, men tend to talk more than women.

But even where there are differences, the differences are minor.

So if women do not actually talk more than men, what’s the real problem?

Continue reading

When He’s Not Putting Your Relationship First

When He’s Not Putting the Relationship FirstDo you ever feel like everything else in his life comes first instead of you?

His friends. His sports teams. His gym. His phone.

It’s not like you expect his undivided attention 24-7. But it sure would be nice if once in a while you heard him say, “No, I can’t do that. I’m spending the evening with my girlfriend.”

How do you encourage him to prioritize your relationship, when there are so many other things competing for his attention?

Good question. But to understand the answer, let’s take a look at one difference between men and women.

You see, relationships occupy a different role in men’s lives than they do in women’s.

Relationships keep men grounded. A man feels secure knowing he can go out in the world to do battle since someone will be waiting for him when he returns.

But, to be successful, he can’t linger too long over thoughts of his lover. He has to muster all his focus, courage, and energy for the challenge at hand. When he fights, he fights alone. That’s because the male mind is compartmentalized.

Love is important to a man. But love won’t keep him at home.

For women, love is home. When a woman is in love, she takes thoughts of her lover with her everywhere she goes.

Love releases energy that makes all her daily activities feel less overwhelming, less effortful. It’s the energy of love she carries with her all day long.

It’s hard to see, then, why men would compartmentalize their relationships when love is such a powerful, positive, and pervasive influence in your own life. But men do compartmentalize love. And that’s very important to understand.

You might picture the different areas of a man’s life as balls he’s trying to juggle. His friends are one ball, his work another, romance another. A man arranges his life by juggling the balls.

You might be with a man who has a short attention span. Whichever ball falls into his hands is the one that gets all his attention. But then it’s time to throw that ball back into the air and catch the next one. He jumps from one focus to another, unable to prioritize.

So what can you do?

Continue reading

Why He’s Not Taking the Hint

how men and women are differentHave you ever tried to tell your guy something without actually telling him?

Maybe you wanted a specific gift for your birthday, but didn’t want to come right out and say it. Or you were stuck in an awkward social situation, and wanted him to bail you out. Or you might have been upset, thinking he could surely tell something was off.

Sometimes he picks up what you’re laying down. Other times, he’s blissfully unaware.

There’s actually a good reason why he may not catch your subtle clues.

The reason has nothing to do with whether or not he genuinely cares. It’s not a gauge of his commitment. It’s not even an accurate measure of whether or not he’s the sensitive type.

Nope, it’s genetic differences, pure and simple. It all comes down to the way his brain is wired.

That’s because the male brain is not like the female brain. There are differences in our chemistry, activity, structure, and even blood flow. So how he thinks is sometimes different from how you think.

And sometimes that difference will make it really hard for him to take a hint.

One of the epic differences between male brains and female brains is how we use grey and white matter.[i]

Grey matter is for super-charged focus. It gives you the ability to block out distractions and stay on task. Guys’ brains are naturally good at this, but it comes with a downside.

As one researcher put it, “Once [men] are deeply engaged in a task or game, they may not demonstrate much sensitivity to other people or their surroundings.”

White matter, on the other hand, is for networking. I’m not talking about LinkedIn or Facebook. I mean networking within your mind.

This is where women have an edge.

The different parts of your brain “talk” to each other using white matter. Like, for example, when you multi-task. White matter also helps you notice other stuff going on, even when you’re focused.

You can see the potential problem, right? He’s great at maintaining a single focus, but he may not be as perceptive as you.

All those super clear signals you’re sending? Yeah, he’s probably missing a lot of them.

So one of the best things you can do for your communication with your guy is to stop dropping hints. Instead, TALK to him.

Here are a couple of pointers for making your conversations as productive as possible.

Continue reading