You don’t stop. You keep going until you’ve got what you wanted.
That should be good, right? It means you’re focused. Dedicated. An achiever.
But it also puts you in danger.
Working too hard on anything puts you at risk of burnout. And that includes relationships.
Relationship burnout happens when you put 110% into your love life.
You’re so focused on getting a date or strengthening your relationship that you miss the big picture. Your world revolves around your love life. If you’re feeling close and connected, you want to feel even closer and more connected. If you’re going through a rough patch, your relationship stays on your mind until you’ve figured out how to fix it.
And why not?
Surely relationships deserve that kind of attention.
If you love someone, you want to give him everything. If you don’t have someone yet, then surely you shouldn’t rest until you do.
But a funny thing happens when you focus on something to the exclusion of everything else:
You start to hate it.
Even if it’s something you love, it consumes your attention until it becomes a source of great frustration.
A friend of mine never does online dating for more than a few months at a time. She says that she starts to hate it if she does it for any longer. Instead of seeing it as something fun, it becomes a chore. That resentment starts to bleed through into how she responds to the men who contact her.
So, for their sake as well as hers, she keeps her dips into the online dating pool short and sweet.
When I suggest this approach to other women, they counter it with, “But what if I miss out on someone great because I’m not online?”
It’s true. If you take a break—whether it’s a break from online dating or a break from an intense relationship—you do run the risk of missing out.
You might miss out on some extra fun you might have had otherwise.
But it’s worth it, and here’s why.