What makes you feel alive?
Do you agree that energy is important? Do you agree that people who routinely find ways to tap into energy reserves seem more vibrant and alive?
If so, you may also agree that romance can only be born when two people are energized when they meet.
In a long-term relationship, the quality of energy you bring to the relationship will determine the quality of the long-term benefit each partner receives.
What kind of person energizes you?
If you pursue romantic interactions with those who bring out your best qualities, guess what will happen. That’s right, you will find yourself in the company of people who bring out the best in you, and as a result you will tap into your higher qualities (your best identity) more often.
Feeling A Special Connection
Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what it is about a person that makes you feel alive. With some people, you just feel a special kind of connection, and I believe it is the connection itself that ignites the energy you feel.
We resonate with some people more deeply than we resonate with others. I use this term, “resonate” to mean that feeling of being in sync, like the world suddenly becomes a less lonely place the second you enter their presence.
Sometimes you can feel it almost instantly. A friend of mine told me of an experience involving a woman he met on an elevator. He stepped onto the elevator, felt a warm connection with a woman he had never met before, and exited the elevator sixty seconds later knowing he could really enjoy spending time with her.
The two of them talked briefly on the elevator, and he could tell she was attracted to him. The feeling was mutual. They both lingered for a few seconds after exiting the elevator, both standing and looking into each other’s eyes, hesitant to let go of this sudden feeling of connection.
At other times, that sensation of feeling connected grows more slowly over time.
It’s a sense of oneness that allows you to experience the world together as it unfolds one second at a time. We often discover this sensation of oneness in moments of silence or a while working on a project together.
On a first date, it’s the space between your attempts at communication when your mind slips into that special kind of oneness with the man sitting across from you. These are the experiences you never forget, even if the circumstances of your life cause you both to go separate ways.
What Triggers These Special Moments?
It’s just my opinion, but I ask you to consider it; test it and determine if it holds any truth. I believe the special resonance generates energy because some people help us to effortlessly slip into a fuller awareness of the present moment as it unfolds.
All the vibrancy of life is contained within the present moment. The future and the past are vivid in our imagination, but they hold none of the actual energy of the life force that pulses through each of us as time unfolds.
We often discover a special connection when we are not looking for it. The more forcefully our mind fuses with an agenda, a goal, or a desired outcome, the harder it is to fully embrace the present moment for what it is here and now.
When you find yourself interacting with a potential partner because of a goal to build some kind of relationship with them in the future, the most vibrant version of your mind and identity is somewhat deadened by the fact that you are partially living in the future, less identified with the present moment as it unfolds.
In contrast, when you find yourself unexpectedly resonating with another human being, you simply marvel at the unfolding experience in “the now.” So it is no surprise that we often find these special connections with people when we are not looking for them.
While these special connections seem to happen rather serendipitously, I believe we can encourage them by taking one simple action. Practice connecting with people in the present moment frequently. Do this when you first meet someone. Do it before you evaluate what the relationship could become in the future.
For example, do not look to see if he has a wedding band on his finger. Do not check what kind of shoes he is wearing. You can do all of that a few seconds later. Instead, each time you meet a new person, or even someone you have known for years, start by trying to experience the present moment in his presence.
Have you ever had one of these special connection moments? I am curious whether any of you have noticed anything unusual that is either predictive or somehow related to these experiences. Share your comments below so we can all look for common themes together.
By the way, I have spent a great deal of time exploring the hidden passages that seem to emerge at points of sudden deep connections between men and women. My private clients and I have shared that journey together, and I have distilled many of our secrets into an advanced relationship course.
It is a coaching and self-study course available to any of you who recognize the true value of leveraged knowledge. I encourage you to speed your dating success by learning from those who have been studying this concept for a while. Click here to learn more now.