Some of the most interesting things people have learned about communication have come from the field of couples therapy.
There is one intimacy-deepening communication method that has spread from counseling rooms to business board rooms and even to government training programs.
The reason? It works! I’d like to share a few of the core components of this method with you.
The communication concept has taken on different names, but I call it, “shared-moment communication.”
That term comes from the core component that makes it so powerful. When done correctly, shared-moment communication causes two people to feel in-tune with each other.
Communication is often used to manipulate people. We manipulate others to see things from our perspective. We manipulate others even when we give a compliment in hopes of receiving a positive response.
I once heard a psychology professor claim that all communication is manipulation in one form or another. I don’t agree with that, because I’ve discovered shared-moment communication.
With shared-moment communication, you can actually draw the other person into a deeper level of intimacy, even if they are not actively practicing shared-moment communication themselves.
How does it work?
Well, first I should mention that it is something you practice and get better at over time. Fortunately, the practice yields better communication even when you have not perfected the technique.
If it was not for that fact, I would not attempt to compress such an important concept into an email.
Are you ready to learn the technique? Okay then, here we go, but first let me warn you that the simplicity of the methods can be deceiving.
There is a synergistic effect when the three factors below are combined. None of these factors seem all that amazing by themselves, but together they yield an amazing result.
1.Release all intentions. Open your mind to experience whatever thoughts naturally arise in your mind in response to the words of the other person you are communicating with.
2.Become fully interested in the present moment as it unfolds. Release any thoughts about the past or the future so you can bring your mind back to rest on the unfolding experience of communicating right now.
3.Speak whatever thoughts come up naturally. Converse as if there was no point to the conversation other than the joy of conversation itself.
I want to emphasize that this method requires that you fully appreciate and enjoy the conversation as an experience of shared oneness with another human being.
It’s the relaxation and the joy that emanates from this non-manipulative form of communication that automatically draws the other person to the same wavelength, the same positive experience.
This method has profound effects. It lowers stress, lowers defensiveness, and increases feelings of intimacy. The method draws much of its strength from the experience it generates. The experience is one of shared appreciation of the present moment.
Cultivating the qualities that come with present moment awareness can lead to amazing advantages in attracting an ideal partner. I can teach you how to cultivate those qualities in yourself through my self-study program, “What Men Secretly Want.”
If you’d like to obtain a copy of those materials, start here with What Men Secretly Want. That program captures the best of my insights about attracting men.
Try using the three step method I shared with you above. The first step is to memorize the three parts. The next action step is to practice it with all kinds of people. Talk to you soon!