Destined To Be Together

how to make him notice youImagine stepping into an elevator with an attractive colleague. Someone you’ve noticed and wanted to get to know better. It’s just the two of you, and this is the second day in a row this has happened.

What are the odds?

It feels a bit like destiny leading you into each other’s lives. So, you make a casual comment to that effect. It catches his attention.

He replies with a smile and a laugh. Suddenly he’s looking at you differently. You’re on his radar now, and he’s much more likely to see all the good things about you he hadn’t noticed before.

What I just described is actually a powerful technique. The mere suggestion that a seemingly random event means something actually makes it mean something. In this case, the random event is being together on the elevator two days in a row, but it could be almost anything.

I call this approach the “destiny framework.” Here’s how it works.

Life can unfold a million different ways. So everything that happens, is (technically speaking) statistically unlikely. On top of that, sometimes it’s the small, unexpected things that completely alter the course of your whole life! Like bumping into someone you’re interested in on an elevator.

The moment someone points out all the little details that had to line up perfectly to bring you to where you are right now, it begins to feel like you were simply destined to be here. And that sense of destiny tends to open our eyes. It encourages us to look for the significant little things we might be missing.

You can use that very natural response to center his focus on you.

What’s more, putting this technique to work for you couldn’t be easier. Plus, it works with guys you’re just getting to know, as well as long-term, serious partners. To harness this power, you only have to remember three dead-simple steps.

1. Look for a random event that’s already occurred. Something small that helped build a connection between the two of you works best.

2. Point out the low odds of the event occurring exactly the way it did.

3. Casually hint at the possibility that destiny must have made it happen. Why else would such a statistically unlikely event occur?

I can’t stress the “casually” part enough. If you launch into a monologue about fate, you might scare him off.

We’re shooting for something way more subtle. All you have to do is call his attention to the fact that something unlikely brought the two of you together.

how to make him notice youWhen something shifts our perspective, even a little, it opens our eyes. Suddenly, we see all kinds of things we didn’t see before. When you use this technique, you’re helping him see you in ways he didn’t see you before.

Whether you believe in destiny or not, you have to admit that small things frequently have a big impact. Use that to your advantage. Help him see you for the amazing woman you are. Before long, he’ll be thinking about how lucky he is that circumstance brought you into his life.

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11 thoughts on “Destined To Be Together

  1. Anna said:

    I saw a man at a local market. No big deal. Both buying fruit. Saw him again a week or two later at a charity shop. I spoke up and said I saw you somewhere recently but not sure where. We spoke for a minute trying to think where but kept shopping. I finally remembered and saw him not too far away and told him at the market. A little while later he returned with his phone number on a piece of paper and told me to call him for a drink sometime. A week or so later I called. Magic!

  2. Ree Johnson said:

    Hello. Me and my significant other talked plans and future endeavors together. Everything was going so well. We purchased engagement rings and I was so happy. Now many things have changed. We don’t spend a lot of time together, and now he says he’s not rushing into marriage cause he is not financially ready, and when you get married he has to be able to take care of his wife. I did tell him money is not everything and time would be passing by and he will be saying the same thing. He says I puts too much pressure on him, which I don’t. When we have arguments, he makes everything about me and nothing about him. I tried his secret obsession and that didn’t even work. I Love this man so much, but I’m not gonna wait years for him to become his wife.

    • James Bauer said:

      Hi Ree. I’m sorry to hear he has been dragging his feet like that. Still, you must be doing something right to win his affection and commitment the way you have.
      His response to you about needing money before he feels right about being your husband is SO CLASSIC for men. Did you carefully read module 5 of His Secret Obsession? It’s titled Why Men Say, “I’m Just Not Ready.”

      That module explains why men get obsessed with the provider role. Your guy fits into the “Prince phase” described in that module. He’s trying to make something of himself because his hero instinct is driving him to do so. That module shows you how to channel that hero instinct so it doesn’t block your relationship from moving forward.

      Wishing you love and happiness!


  3. Samantha said:

    The same thing happened with me, my boyfriend from 26 years ago got in touch with me after not keeping in touch for all these years. Our connection is amazing but I think I have ruined it by putting pressure on him and I think giving him time and space is probably best. I really hope that I haven’t lost him forever.

    • Lorna (LaLa) said:

      Samantha, Try being positive. I am sure you have not lost him yet. After all, he contacted you. Yes, give him a little space, then it will be perfectly fine for you to get back in touch with him, in a friendly way, after a little while, if he does not contact you. Try to make it light and fun – no pressure. No-one likes a drama-queen. Best of luck!! Lorna

  4. Anna said:

    I too had a chance encounter last year, with my first teenage love, who professed he had never stopped searching for me. He came into my life when I needed him the most….after breast cancer operation. 2016 was the most wonderful time of my life. But our lives are complicated and in my Taurean bull-like fashion I ended it a few weeks ago despite knowing and telling him he is my soul mate and I will always love him. If I could turn the clock back I would and at the very least keep him as my own very special friend. I miss him every minute of the day and it hurts so much knowing we may never meet again…….. never be rash in decision making

    • Elena said:

      Anna, if it hurts so much and you regret ending it with him, maybe it will make sense to tell him about your regrets.

      Wishing you all the best!

      • Lorna (LaLa) said:

        Anna – I agree with Elena!! Never mind about being a Taurean bull and so stubborn! I bet he is really upset about the break-up, too, but he will be too proud to contact you again now, since you broke it off with him. For goodness sake!! You must surely know how precious life is, after all you have been through with cancer, and how rare it is to have a special person in it. Get back in touch with him. What have you got to lose – and you probably have so much to gain. JUST DO IT. (And let us know what happens!). Best of Luck. Lorna

  5. Sharon said:

    While it may not be destiny, it happened that way for my late husband and me. Now, I am in a “complicated” relationship with a great guy that again our paths crossed years ago and then again last spring. If nothing else, we have now developed a great friendship…and seemingly headed towards more. But, it’s complicated…..

    • Peg said:

      What does “complicated” mean? I just discovered that a wonderful person I had been dating was in a “complicated” relationship (not married) but “committed.” I will not be “the other woman.” But clearly, our emotional tie is very strong and we very much had components of genuine interest, attraction, conversation, and true compatibility!! I lost respect for him and feel that I’m the person he texts to fill the emotional void. She chooses to live elsewhere.

  6. Agnes said:

    He should still be counting his lucky stars! 🙂

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