Things are going great…
Until the music starts blaring. Making talking impossible.
And the lights dim. Making it hard to see each other.
People dance, bumping into you. Which is distracting.
Both of you are frustrated. And it’s killing the mood.
You’d ask the guy to leave with you. But you barely know him.
Bad venues are like romantic poison. They destroy your chance at making a connection.
As if finding a guy wasn’t hard enough already!
It doesn’t have to be this way. There are ways to fight back against “bad venue poison.” And even avoid it altogether. Or at least reduce your chances of running into it.
In this post, I’m going to teach you how to overcome this problem.
These simple tips will apply to both actual dates and more casual encounters. In other words, they’re useful no matter what relationship stage you’re in.
They fall into one of three categories:
Let’s start with planning.
This may seem fairly obvious. You want to plan to avoid bad venues in the first place.
But I’m going to show you exactly how to do that. Without visiting every possible date location in your city.
The place to start: review sites. They make this process easier than ever before.
It’s likely you’ve used them before. But you may not have really delved into them. Because most review sites go far beyond providing you with a general “good” or “bad” rating.
Yelp, for example, has a special column called “More business info.” There, you’ll find things like Ambience, Noise Level, and whether they serve alcohol.
Plus, you can filter and search for specific words. Things you want your venue to have. Or not.
Review sites can be invaluable. But don’t stop there.
Many venues host special events to draw people in. Trivia nights. Live music. Drink sales.
Even if a place is normally perfect for you to connect with a guy, these events can throw things off.
So do another two minutes of planning. It’s worth it. As the saying goes, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” When you find a place you like, check their website and their social media pages.
Make sure the atmosphere fits your needs at the actual time you’re going.
Most of the time this will solve the bad venue problem for you. But not always.
That’s where the other two tips come in. How to escape or fix a low-quality venue when it’s blocking your conversation with an interesting guy.
If you end up at a bad venue, the next step is to consider rerouting.
Here’s the simple version: You get to a place. You don’t like it. You find a better one and leave together.
Essentially, it’s on-the-fly planning you do with the guy.
Say you set up a date with a guy at a wine bar. It’s quiet. It’s secluded. It’s perfect for getting to know each other.
But you didn’t know there’s a convention in town. And your nice, quiet wine bar is overflowing with rowdy business people.
Less than ideal.
So reroute. Whip out your phone and find a nearby alternative.
You can even make it a game. Bring up a list of options and blindly choose one. It will be an adventure!
If you each have different thoughts on where to go, play a round of Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide.
The point is to show that you’re resourceful and fun.
Rerouting can even work if it’s your first time meeting the guy.
Just don’t go anywhere that makes you nervous. But here are some ways to make it safer.
If you’re out with friends, move the whole group.
If you’re alone, do your own fast research on the new location. See if it seems safe. Public.
Call or text a friend to let them know where you’re going.
And remember that leaving isn’t your only option. I still have one more tip to share with you.
You can also choose to stick around and do some alleviating.
Alleviating is basically just making the best of the situation. In other words, the venue may suck, but you don’t have to.
You wanted to talk and ended up at a loud dance party? Show him your moves!
And if the situation is really so bad that you just can’t join in, make fun of it together.
Crack jokes about how bad it is. Text or message him if it’s too hard to hear. Or physically write things back and forth on napkins.
You can turn a potentially bad date into an amusing experience. One that showcases your creativity. Your fun side.
So keep these three concepts in mind…
And remember, bad venues don’t have to destroy a potential connection. Your resourcefulness is your most important asset.