How to Be the Drama-Free Girlfriend Guys Love

How to Be His Secret Obsession Drama-Free Girlfriend Guys LoveKathy’s life was like something out of a reality TV program.

Her friends loved her. Life was never boring with Kathy around. Drama followed her wherever she went.

But there was one area of her life Kathy wished was less dramatic:

Her relationships.

She’d never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months. She seemed to attract the worst kind of guys: the ones that made her believe she’d found Mr. Dreamy … only to reveal themselves as a toad in prince’s clothing.

Was it just bad luck?

Or was there something Kathy could do to attract the long-lasting, stable relationship she wanted?

I’ve met many women like Kathy, and my advice is always the same:

Leave the drama at the door.

Understand Your Man

Most of us—men and women alike—make a deadly mistake in our relationships. We assume that our partner thinks the same way we do.

But the way men see the world is subtly different to how women see the world. Successful relationships depend on understanding those differences.

One way in which you and your man may be less alike than you think is in how you view drama.

Be Irresistible - Drama-Free GirlfriendDrama is what keeps you riveted to your favorite television program. The more the plot twists and turns, the more you’re glued to the screen. Romantic relationships provide a rich source of drama. A couple that fights, breaks up, and makes up is more exciting than an unfailingly happy couple.

But drama on TV is one thing. Drama in real life is something quite different.

A life filled with unnecessary drama is the last thing most men want. Life should be fun, easy, and pleasurable. Drama is too much work.

In a man’s ideal world, his relationship is a drama-free zone. He may have to deal with drama all day at work, but he can choose to avoid drama in his personal life. He can choose to be with a woman who relaxes and recharges him, rather than drains him.

Let me show you three ways to impress your man with the warmth and stability you can bring into his life, while leaving the drama out in the cold.

1. Connect instead of impress.

Kathy was great at impressing men on first dates. She made sure they knew everything about her busy, exciting life. If a man seemed intimidated by her in any way, she dropped him without a second glance.

Ride a bike together - Drama-Free GirlfriendShe loved men who could impress her right back. She always ended up falling for cocky, confident men who talked a good line. No wonder she kept ending up in explosive short-term relationships.

If you go looking for drama, you’ll find it.

Instead, I encouraged Kathy to focus on connecting with her dates. She didn’t need to sell herself. She needed to be herself.

A date isn’t a competition or a beauty pageant. It’s an opportunity to see how simple, pleasurable, and easy it is to be together.

2. Lean on him for some things, but not everything.

One of the biggest reasons we choose to be in relationships is for emotional support. It means a lot to have someone we can talk to about anything.

But sometimes that means we lean on our romantic relationships too heavily.

Instead of broadening our support network, getting into a relationship narrows it. Before, we may have relied on friends or family. Now, we rely on our partner alone to meet all our emotional needs.

That kind of pressure crushes relationships.

Kathy couldn’t understand why her boyfriend was never very supportive when it came to her problems. Her girlfriends were more supportive than he was.

That’s because men generally have a lower drama tolerance than women. They don’t always find it easy to listen and respond appropriately.

So, don’t abandon your friends once you fall in love. You’ll always need that supportive social network around you.

3. Don’t go looking for problems when there are none.

If his relationship is good, a man doesn’t think about it. He simply enjoys it.

Everlasting Love - Drama-Free GirlfriendWomen, on the other hand, tend to think about their relationships a lot, even if it’s going well.

There’s nothing wrong with dwelling on your relationship if you’re focused on the positive. But it’s easy to slip into mulling over small slights and injustices. You can overanalyze things he did or said. Suddenly, your happy relationship doesn’t look so happy…

And you want to talk about it.

Men are notoriously wary of having any kind of talk about their relationship for a reason. It means drama, and that’s the last thing he wants to deal with.

So, try to keep things in perspective. If you’re happy overall, most things can be forgiven and forgotten.

There’s a time and a place for drama: at 9 pm on your favorite channel.

Keep your relationship drama-free, and he’ll love you for it.


What Men Secretly Want

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6 thoughts on “How to Be the Drama-Free Girlfriend Guys Love

  1. Debbie said:

    Sorry you have had a bad day …can I see your phone maybe might be able to fix it , I know that you know more about it then I do … But sometimes it just takes a new few … If i see the same thing over and over I can miss things …

  2. marenvrinda said:

    I’d like to get some advice regarding this post. My boyfriend is high-drama. I’m usually the chilled-out one. Yesterday he was having technical problems with his phone that took the better part of a day to fix, and it still wasn’t really fixed. When I saw him later that day he was stressed out and very high-strung. I made a, I’ll admit, careless comment about how he could waste the day “playing around” on his phone like that. I really struck a nerve because he responded by saying he could hit me because of that comment, and that he really means it! This completely shocked me because he is a gentle guy and I know he would never hit me. But I still can’t get over that he would actually say that to me. Is this an example of me overanalyzing? Should I forgive and forget this? Our relationship is normally completely wonderful but we have both been under a lot of stress lately.

    • Lorna (LaLa) said:

      Hi Marenvrinda, I honestly don’t think you need worry about his unthinking outburst about wanting to hit you. It was probably just an “expression” – I have used that expression myself often, it just means that you are SO frustrated that doing something physical is necessary to dissipate it. I have thrown plates in the past – but would never actually hit anyone. You say you know that he is normally a gentle guy. If this is the first experience you have had of him being aggressive, I would not worry about it. Just be aware if it happens again!! Yes, your throw-away, insensitive comment would have hit a raw nerve with him after a day of trying to sort his phone out. We all know how frustrating that can be. He wanted your support and understanding and sympathy, not your criticism. But don’t beat yourself up about this, either. Just take it on board, and don’t do it again!! Men need to know that we think of them as our Heroes, and he had just “slain” the problem-phone “dragon” – he wanted to hear you say how wonderful he was for dong that – his “Knight in Shining Armour”. Maybe you can make it up to him by telling him how wonderful he is another time for something else he does. Being under a lot of stress will bring out the worst in any of us, and you say he is normally high-drama, as well. You will need to be the one to calm things down. Relationships go through many stages, and can never be always “completely wonderful” – how boring would that be? You are being unrealistic. Ups and downs test the stength of a relationship, and have the potential to make it stronger. Yes, forgive and forget this time – but be aware!! Best wishes. Lorna

      • marenvrinda said:

        Thanks so much for responding Lorna! You were the only one who did, and your advice was good. I wish you all the best also!

      • Lorna (LaLa) said:

        Marenvrinda, You’re very welcome, and I hope it helped. There was one other comment below from Debbie. However, I am not sure men actually want us to step in and try to “fix” something for them that they were unable to do themselves – they are very sensitive about being the big-guy that can sort things out themselves. You need to be very subtle about doing that. Another thought that has occured to me is that we have to remember that we, as people, are all basically animals, and animal instinct is only just beneath the surface – masked by a thin veneer of civilization, which we have to maintain in order to get along in society and with loved ones. When we are stressed and tired that thin veneer can crack and the basic animal in us can emerge. The sad thing is that it is usually with the ones we love and trust the most, because we know that they will forgive us when our “imperfectness” comes out and we can get away with it – we can relax and be ourselves around them. So, again, I would think you do not need to worry about this – you are perhaps being a bit oversensitive. Just keep it in mind and be aware if things get worse in the future. Then you will need to talk to him about it and let him know that you will not tolerate it, as it worries you. Try to reduce the levels of stress in your lives and create a calm, relaxed atmosphere. I hope things go well for you, and I am sure they will. You sound like such a lovely, gentle, caring person. Best wishes. Lorna x

      • marenvrinda said:

        Thanks again, Lorna. You likewise sound very caring. Take care!

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