His influence is profound.
If you were a fan of the TV show The Office, you’ve seen a fictional version of this in action. By the end of the series, Jim and Pam were married and had kids. But they started as friends, and Pam was engaged to one of the guys who worked in the warehouse.
Pam was the receptionist back then, though she dreamed of a career in graphic design.
But her former fiancé wasn’t supportive of her artistic interests. He wasn’t invested in planning (or even setting a date for) the wedding, either. In fact, Pam was more of an accessory in his life than a focal point.
And it showed. She didn’t pursue any of her dreams. Her boyfriend was a HUGE factor.
The people you surround yourself with can raise you up or pull you down. In fact, recent research shows that even the person you sit next to at work can affect your performance!
Think about how much more significant your partner is.
You need a man who fits with the rest of your life. I’m talking about romance that aligns with everything else that matters to you.
If you can find alignment in the three areas below, you’ll be happier, healthier, and much more likely to have the kind of love you want.
This is the stuff of lasting romance…
It can be hard to balance career goals and a love life. People break up all the time because someone made their job the top priority.
But any attempt to “rank” romance vs. career is the wrong approach. Some part of your life is destined to suffer.
Instead, relationship and career goals fall into alignment when you focus on the right thing at the right time.
Find a guy who’s willing to put down his smart phone, stop checking email, and have conversations about non-work stuff. Find someone who focuses ON you when he’s WITH you.
And the same goes for you. If you’re at work, be at work. If you’re with your man, be with your man.
What about those areas of life where your fundamental world view differs? Areas like faith or politics? How do you find alignment there?
First and foremost, acknowledge the differences.
Don’t pretend you see things the same way. Instead, be honest with each other. Explain why you think/feel/believe what you think/feel/believe, and listen when he does the same.
Yes, some common ground is necessary. But it’s okay if the two of you don’t share identical views. Alignment and agreement aren’t the same thing.
The key is respectful acceptance of any differences.
Are you active? Into theater? The outdoors? Sports? Do you enjoy the occasional adult beverage? Like to travel? Look for a guy whose overall lifestyle lines up with yours.
The single most important factor here is having fun together.
Making a relationship last isn’t just about flowers and candle-lit dinners. Sure, those romantic flourishes matter, but research shows that having fun together is one of the biggest factors in long-term relationship success.
You’re not going to share ALL the same hobbies and interests, and that’s okay. But it’s important to do things as a couple that you both enjoy.
If you can’t play together, you probably won’t stay together.
When your relationship is in alignment with the rest of your life, you’ll know it. Every other area of your life will benefit.
If you’re dating someone now, it’s important to find ways to create and deepen alignment. If you’re single, look for a guy you can build alignment with, especially in career goals, life philosophy, and lifestyle.
Your romantic life can and should make your whole life better. All you have to do is find alignment.