How to Rekindle His Romantic Interest in You

how to keep the passion going Hey, it’s James again. Here’s day 2 of your 14 day attraction tips course.
It’s just a preview of the kind of advice and insights I offer.

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If you already know you don’t want ideas and relationship insights from me, just click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of any of my emails.

Today I’m going to remind you of something you already know. Something important but easily forgotten. Something that tugs at a man’s heart.

They are the things that make you smile when you think of him. The things that made you fall in love with him.
They were there when you first met him. That’s why you said yes when he asked you out.
They are the things hidden in his heart that you admire, appreciate and trust. It’s a beautiful thing when you first recognize those gems in his character.

Basically, that’s what falling in love is. It’s seeing into another person’s heart and desiring what you find there.

But then you hit a snag.
When we first begin a relationship with someone, we’re attracted to the possibility of what the relationship could become. It’s an exciting new adventure.

As that possibility becomes a reality, it’s intoxicating… for a while. And then the intoxication seems to fade.
Usually, it fades for one person sooner than it does for the other person. And it fades because you get used to the things that initially made your partner seem special.

When that magical feeling becomes an everyday feeling, it’s easy to stop looking for potential in your partner. Instead, you fixate on the ways he’s different from you, the things you don’t like. And you can easily forget all about the things that initially attracted you to him.

In a long-term relationship, it’s normal for the feelings of infatuation to come and go. When feelings of infatuation are low, you stop fixating on the things you find attractive about him. You see him as a normal person. The sense that he’s “perfect” reveals itself to be an illusion.

When that illusion breaks, the magic withers and some relationships die.
If that’s happened to you, I have some good news. Recovering that special connection isn’t all that difficult.

If you want the best relationship possible, in the beginning and for the long-haul, take this advice. Keep on looking for the qualities in him you most enjoy, desire and respect. Finding them once isn’t enough. Trust me, if you don’t keep looking for them, you’ll forget about them.

And then something terrible happens. Problems become the focus of the relationship. And that slowly poisons the magic of your romantic connection.

So never stop looking for what’s good in the relationship, and in him. Search the mind and heart of your partner diligently and often. And when you see something beautiful in him, acknowledge it out loud. Let him know you appreciate him.

When you do that, two things happen.

First, as you rediscover the things in him that resonate with you, you’ll feel the electric excitement of possibility all over again. You’ll feel alive. You’ll feel desire, and you’ll want to follow that feeling on a journey that brings you closer to him again and again.

He’ll sense that positive energy in you and be attracted to it.

And here’s the second thing that will happen.

You’ll also be encouraging him to show you more of the qualities that made you fall in love with him in the first place. Usually, those are the same qualities that make him feel happy and fully alive. So it’s like you bring out the best in him when you look for what you like.

And here’s the magic that seals the deal…

He will like the version of himself that he finds in your presence. And that will make him want to spend more time with you.

how to keep the passion goingYou will essentially reawaken and reinforce the special qualities that cause attraction between the two of you.
If you do this from the beginning of a relationship, you’ll not only keep the flames of passion burning hot, but you’ll build a more solid foundation, as well.

What it comes down to is this. No matter how strong the initial magic feels, loving someone is a choice. So choose to love the best you can find in him. Don’t let frustration or setbacks become the focus of your attention.

Everything you fell in love with is still there, hidden in his heart. Seek it out, and never stop telling him what you find.


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91 thoughts on “How to Rekindle His Romantic Interest in You

  1. Karen said:

    These things seem like what I should know, but the fact that you bring out these simple truths helps me going into a possible relationship for the first time in many years!! Thank you!

  2. Annice said:

    Hi James my name is Annice, I have kind of a unique problem my boyfriend and Robert everything was going great and then his son passed away from overdose. My sister had passed away almost 1 year to the day before hand and I had a lot of problems dimming with it and still having problems dealing with it he forgot her one year anniversary death date and I voted because it was so hard for me to believe that I have been there for him for 3 weeks and he forgot about that date and he went out and had drinks with his sons X roommate which was a female we haven’t seen or spoken in person since everything is been in text messages I really didn’t realize I care this much about him until now. How do I get us talking face to face again and moving on with our relationship what can I say to him to get him to forgive me and move on

    • James Bauer said:

      HI Annice. Does that mean you already tried to reach out to him and acknowledge the way all this stress pushed you apart, and then ask to see him? Did he say no? Or just fail to respond? This situation might be good to tackle in the private forum.

  3. Anonymous said:

    Struggling through a relationship. I was so deeply in love with a man for 6 years. I saw myself growing old with him. We worked together and had an amazing relationship so I thought. I found out he had cheated on me with a few different woman plus who I thought was my best friend. I started seeing a counsler to get through the hurt. We had struggles with different things. Like my parents who were crushed by what he did to me and didn’t want to be around him. So he wasn’t welcome at my parents home. Which he blamed on me. He told me sleeping with other women was cause he was mad at me, it ment nothing but sex. We had a great sex life so I was beyond shocked that he was with others.
    He must have started seeing someone cause he started pulling away, looking back I see it all happening. Then he sent me a “dear John” text on Valentine’s Day. Then called me to tell me how happy he was in this new relationship and there was no comparison between her and I.
    He was my best friend and lover. My world has fallen apart. I don’t sleep or function. He has gone dark on me and I don’t reach out to him. Everyone says he will come back after this relationship falls apart. I have friends and family that hate him for all the hurt I’m going through. Yet, I just want him to come back. I have no self esteem left in my body which is far from who I am. I want to know what to say to him, to know he should be with me. I struggle daily wondering if I cross his mind. He’s on my mind 24/7.
    What do I do? I know the trust will not be there for awhile if he does come back. I just miss my best friend and lover. I thought I could fix him, where now I’m trying to fix myself.
    Please, any help or suggestions I will take.
    Thank you!

  4. Wendy said:

    I’m dealing with a man who I love very much, but I believe him to be bipolar and very hard to deal with at times. On one hand he’s the most loving and caring person, then you got the other hand when he can be very mean with his actions and his words. Nothing physical, just a very hot-headed German. And I don’t believe he’s ever really been in love with someone. I know he loves me, but I’m afraid I’m loosing the relationship we had. Please help me get back into his heart and help me to understand how to keep my relationship exciting and how can I put my love back into his heart and become #1 with him again.

    • James Bauer said:

      Hey, Wendy. Maybe you should join our private forum where relationship coaches can help you tackle questions like these.

  5. anonymous said:

    I met him in FEB 2018 and had 2 wonderful months together. He had to go back to his country where he has been for the past 2 months. We text every day, he really wants to come back here and establish himself but he is waiting on his passport to be renewed and the government in his country is awful so it might take a while for him to comeback. I know that I have to be realistic but it is really hard. He seems more and more distant or I might be overreacting to his situation because he is in a bad one. He hurt his back and has been in therapy for a month, very hard to find food and meds in his country. I encourage him every time we text and show him how important he is to me but sometimes, the text is just read but no answer from him. I don’t know what to think or do and I don’t want to pressure him (he is 35 and I am 46). Is it a dead end between us?

  6. Anonymous said:

    Thank you James. You are the Best! Diana

  7. Dianna said:

    Dear James –

    I’ve been in a passive aggressive relationship for almost three years – it came to light slowly – I had almost thought I was going crazy or I was over reacting until I did my research. He is a great person underneath all of what passive aggressive behavior can do to a person, its just tangled him all up.- I walked away – he’s let me go with no fight- I do know and I have expressed this to him that we were meant to be and I believe it truly, not with stars in my eyes or arrows and cupids, I just know. We are in our 50’s and i am secure enough to know I will not accept anything less than what I or anyone truly deserves, but he is my best friend, and I’m letting him go and I am not sure how to get him back, and to get him back with a new start, for the both of us, with understanding, empathy and accountability. Passive aggressive people are a handful.

    • James Bauer said:

      Reading your words, it just feels like you must be a very courageous person. You have the courage to love deeply, but also the courage to walk away when you know it’s necessary to maintain healthy boundaries.

      It certainly is difficult to deal with passive-aggressive people. In my experience, they sometimes are so much in the habit that they don’t even realize they are doing it. And it’s an embarrassing thing to admit to yourself when you realize you are doing it. So it likely will be a long road, and success will require open communication about the problem over an extended period of time.

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