How to Improve your Looks (By The Standards That Matter To Men)

How to Improve your Looks by the standards that matter to menThere are some things about your personal appearance you simply cannot do anything to change. For the sake of building your own confidence and self-esteem, it is important that you accept those things completely.

Yes, I know you would still change them if your fairy godmother showed up with a magic wand and gave you the option. Just make sure you don’t hold your breath, waiting to embrace your body until later.

There is a lot to be said for fully embracing the body you find yourself living in. If you have features you don’t like, do everything in your power to fully accept them and make friends with yourself as a person who has those features. It really does improve your quality of life when you accept yourself as you are.

That being said, you don’t want to miss out on easy opportunities that could allow you to better tug at men’s attraction triggers. If you can do something to enhance your appearance, you might choose to do so. It all depends on how comfortable you are with the idea.

Here are a few things researchers claim as fairly strong variables that influence an average man’s attraction triggers (assuming you care what “average” men think).

One is a smooth and clear complexion. Another is clear eyes. And a third is long, healthy hair (for Caucasian women anyway), which men just called “shiny” in research samples. Those factors were at the top of the list of variables that seemed to really attract research participants when a research team showed men hundreds of pictures and carefully analyzed the results.

How to Improve Your Looks – Practical Steps You Could Take to Improve Your Attraction Triggers:

At Be Irresistible, we don’t recommend beauty products just for the heck of it. We don’t usually research them either. But when women tell us something works unusually well, we pass on that information to our members.

There is a hair product that seems to be a few steps above the rest when it comes to adding a silky shine and taming frizz. It may actually live up to the advertising hype according to some women I personally asked to try it (after hearing from a reader that it is amazingly good).

It is Pantene Ultimate 10 BB creme. It is a ten-in-one beauty balm for hair. It could be a useful tool for you if you straighten your hair or want to add an extra noticeable shine.

Clear eyes: Get some sleep to avoid blood-shot eyes. If your eyes are a bit blood shot from a plane trip or lack of sleep, use Visine redness reliever before heading out on a big date.

A clear, smooth complexion is probably easiest to find in your makeup case, but here’s a tip for any of you who have adult acne. It’s hard to find, but you can get great long-term results for complexion problems by applying vitamin B3 directly to your skin. It may take two months to see the benefits.

If you have read Dr. Nicolas Perricone’s book on clear skin, you know that chronic mild inflammation of the skin is the number one factor that contributes to acne lesions. Vitamin B3 (niacinamide) has a soothing anti-inflammatory effect and also reduces red spots and discoloration on the skin after you use if for a while.

There are an ever-increasing number of articles on Niacinamide gel published on the online medical journal clearinghouse, pubmed, about niacinamide. It is an over-the-counter product and is being studied for its beneficial effects on acne, hyper-pigmentation, skin-hydration, wrinkle reduction, and its anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer, and anti-aging effects.

They say you look thinner, healthier, and generally more beautiful with a tan. If you are Caucasian, and you are going to ignore the potential long-term damage that can come from sun exposure, at least use the following helpful tip about getting a tan.

how to improve your looksYour body gets tan by producing melanin. Melanin is the stuff your skin releases to reduce its vulnerability to damage from UV rays. Your skin gradually releases melanin when you are exposed to the sun, which causes the darkening pigmentation of your skin with sun exposure over time.

Here’s the tip. Get your tan in fifteen minute increments per day. The reason is simple. The maximum release of melanin happens after only fifteen minutes per day in the sun. You can’t speed up the process by spending three hours in the sun all at once and nearly burning yourself. That would just add to the cumulative sun damage to your skin and cause premature wrinkling as you age.

Don’t try to get a burn that will “fade into a tan.” Only a very small percentage of people have skin that responds this way, and even they could have developed a deeper and more beautiful skin tone by approaching the process gradually. Additionally, they would have avoided the kind of burn that can lead to skin cancer, dry skin, and premature wrinkling.

If you have any tips or suggestions of your own to share with your fellow readers, feel free to share them in the comments section below.

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43 thoughts on “How to Improve your Looks (By The Standards That Matter To Men)

  1. Vera said:

    Hello James, yes I want to add something to beauty regime. It is the drinking of fresh vegetable juices every day – carrots, spinach, onion etc are some of the most healing I find. I lost 9 kg and took on a natural physical shape all by itself. I have done it now for two years and my skin gets firmer and firmer all the time. Besides that coffee enemas to cleanse the liver, as adviced by Max and Charlotte Gerson. This has lead to additional hair growth, good skin and strong fingernails. The most effective method ever. With warm wishes x

    • James Bauer said:

      Thanks for sharing your tip!

  2. Michelle said:


    Thanks for all the great advise and tips. One of my best kept beauty secrets is Rosehip oil applied directly to your skin at night before your night cream. Natural rosehip oil is a healing, nourishing oil, so it reduces scarring, pigmentation, age spots, any kind of damage and replenishes the moisture levels of your skin. Marvelous stuff. Keep well.

    • James Bauer said:

      Thanks for sharing your beauty secret!

  3. RunsWithOreos said:

    There is so much more to losing weight than “counting calories”. This is the skinny person’s view lol. I have been “skinny” all my life myself, but I’ve watched my mom battle obesity all my life. If a person would throw their passion in to restoring health instead of losing weight, they would find their best self, their best body, and actually LOSE FAT instead of just losing weight. Desperation diets make your body destroy muscle and skin tissue to make glucose, the body’s ultimate fuel. Extreme diets create cortisol (because of the extreme stress), which is now known to help the body store fat, not get rid of it! There needs to be a balance between insulin and glucagon. Insulin is the fat-storing hormone, glucagon is the fat-BURNING hormone. When I’m a good girl and follow the Zone diet, I don’t feel like I’m dieting and I stay at my ideal body fat percentage. I have a story to tell and can’t go into it here. If you got that way, there is a door! You can find your way back! Cheers!

    • James Bauer said:

      Thanks for sharing your tip about the Zone diet. Glad to hear a success story.

  4. Caroline said:

    Dear James

    You’ve been ‘done’

    There is no such thing as ‘Pantene Pro-V Ultimate 10 BB Creme ‘ Look it up on Amazon.

    Its a kindle blog costing £0.99 and you’ve just given Miss Davis a load of free advertising

    • James Bauer said:

      I have a bottle in my house right now. Got it at a national retailer (Wal-mart). Sorry if it is not available in the UK.

  5. I went out once with a guy who told me he dumped a girl for having “no soul.” I think he was talking about her eyes having a deadness to them. I have seen this effect in people (okay, “students” – I used to be a teacher, so you sort of get used to seeing teens come to school stoned, and you quickly learn to recognize the signs) who smoke marijuana or are using other kinds of (recreational) drugs. Generally, you should avoid drugs completely unless you are taking a prescription or an over the counter remedy for a specific ailment. Drugs kill your eyes’ brightness, and give men the impression that you “have no soul.”

  6. Hi James
    Your article was really not what I was expecting. I really thought it would say accentuate your cleavage, make your lips pouty etc etc. Thanks for showing us that men are interested in more than just those things 🙂

  7. Charlotte said:

    My great beauty tip is to get some Virgin Coconut Oil and use it all over your body . It has improved my face so much. I had big dry patches on my cheeks and around my nose. They are now all gone.

    • Daniela said:

      thank you for sharing! my skin is so dry like a tree body ! 🙂

  8. Sandy said:

    Hi James I love all your tips on love and health! A lot of these replies are true! My personal key is clean Organic healthy food: 80-90% / 80-90% of the time, exercise & good restful sleep. The tip on juicing and virgin coconut oil is right on & for clean, silky hair I wash & rinse just like grandma used to do with good ol fashion pure soap and vinegar rinse -the soap is pH alkaline and vinegar is pH acidic-they balance at each other and give you soft smooth silky hair. I find that if one focuses on how you feel (rather than how you look) you’ll look good and feel good!

    • Annelie said:

      Sandy: in todays life were everything is “scented”. my question: “where do you get today “pure soap”. Can you give a name/brand plse? Thanx Annelie

      • James Bauer said:

        That’s a good question. I’m not exactly sure what soap is. Dove soap boasts it is nothing but moisturizer and “soap,” but what is soap really? Some sort of agent that breaks down “grime”…another vague term. Maybe one of you chemists can explain. It’s off topic but I’ve always been curious about the root of things.

        • Sandy said:

          I get PURE SOAP FLAKES from MSO Distributing Co. 1 lb. is approximately $12-$14. The product is great! I love it! –as I make my own “shampoo” with it!!! 🙂

          • Zi said:

            Since the ’60s we’ve been using “Kirk’s Original Coco-Castile” bar soap (made from coconut oil!). Started out using it camping, and whenever we washed up in lakes or streams, the minnows would all start nibbling up the (minimal) suds. Never dries out your skin… rinses off completely… LOVE it! It costs about 1.50 a bar, and I get it at Lowe’s grocery. But go to and the site has a regional vendor finder or you can order it directly.

  9. des said:

    wear earrings, a little lipstick, liner and a coral red safari dress, casual but smart-

  10. Heather said:

    Love all the wonderful health and beauty advice. Let us not forget the power of hydration!! Get that 64 oz of H2O everyday (more when u exercise)!! Also, read the labels to your beauty products!! . Avoid parabens, sodium lauryl/laureth sulfates, sodium myreth sulfate and phthalates!! When I did that, my face became clearer and there is less redness.

  11. Anita Reid said:

    Hello Vera
    I am very interested to have more details about your health regime. Is there a recipe book you use, particularly about how to juice, what juices to choose. I am in my 50s so any help on keeping skin firm most appreciated!

  12. Debra said:

    Hi James, I didn’t understand your comment about hair, ( if you’re Caucasian anyways)

    • James Bauer said:

      Hi Debra. The research study I reviewed in this article seemed to suggest men (on average) expressed more attraction when shown pictures of women who allowed their hair to grow long while still achieving a healthy look. Apparently it triggers some kind of attraction triggers for a significant portion of men.


  13. Tiff said:

    Hi James… I want to share my simple beauty tip too.. It’s just Milk poured into a bowl along with 2/3 Lemon fruits. Stir well then apply to ur Face with a cloth,and leave it there for 2-3 mins. Then rinse well with fresh water.. It is wiser to apply during night time and not during the day because of the Sun. It reduces dark spots and creats firmer and smoother skin. Cheers!!

  14. Daniela said:

    I love honey masks! I use one often with natural coffie rests after drink it ….that sand to let it dry than use it on the mask with the yellow part of an egg …

    the circular movement with the fingers makes that the coffie sand clean the pores without irritating the skin ..looks nasty when on the face but after that the skin is soft and shinny..for the fat type skin add few drops of lemon juice fresh from the fruit!

    30 min sitting horizontal maybe with some cucumbers thin pieces on the eyes 🙂 reduce the inflammations and tired eyes aspect…

    before go out often use a small spoon with honey and cinnamon a makes me feel fresh and remember the power of sweet talk instead my (too) often sharp words…

  15. Abby Pires said:


    I have a burning question on my mind: Did the study you mentioned contain any information regarding body shapes and sized? I am so weary from all of the incessant bickering in social media about skinny vs. curvy girls. Let’s Hear It For The Boy!

    • James Bauer said:

      It did, Abby. But I removed that part of my blog article because a lot of women seemed to misunderstand the research and take offense when I reported what the researchers found. The main thing was that men were (surprisingly) more likely to rate a woman who was not purposefully showing a lot of skin (in the pictures used in the research) as less attractive as a long-term serious date potential compared with women dressed more conservatively and with a slender figure.

      • Zi said:

        “…more likely to rate a woman who was not purposefully showing a lot of skin … as less attractive as a long-term serious date potential” (OK, got it! — don’t show too much skin) “compared with women dressed more conservatively and with a slender figure.”

        Except for the ‘slender figure’, aren’t both descriptions above saying the same thing?

        • James Bauer said:

          Basically yes. Society generally expects men to be more attracted to a woman who is showing a lot of skin (particularly when she has all the right curves). So they were surprised to find that the pictures of women who were not showing a lot of skin and also on the thin side (not as many sexy curves) were actually rated by affluent men as the women they would most seriously consider as a marriage partner. These are just “on average” statistical results. We have to keep in mind that every person has their own particular preferences. But it’s interesting to see what “the average guy” seems to be drawn to.

  16. I just ordered the Pantene BB from Amazon along with other things I wanted (enough for free delivery). I’ve always had fine thin hair (Irish heritage) and was 77 this week. I just broke up with current boyfriend because he stated wish to not remain monogamous, so I’m putting a new profile online. I’m little (just 5′ and 110#) and work out with weights so I’ll find a replacement easily. My best tip is granulated sugar mixed into my glycerine face soap when I want to exfoliate (at least once a week).

  17. L said:

    Thank for writing informative articles. So does it mean that most man are not attracted to women with very short hair like me. And also your beauty tips seems to be only directed to white women and those with fairly light complexion. What about me, am one of your follower, supporter and i happen to be African.

    • James Bauer said:

      Good question. It does not mean men are not attracted to women with short hair. Research can only tell us about mathematical averages. Each person has specific likes and dislikes. Men of African heritage are certainly going to have different perceptions of beauty, and hair type is likely to be one of them. The research I have found so far never seems to address that point, so I really don’t know the answer other than to say American women of African heritage seem to get a better response from a wider variety of hair styling and hair treatments (meaning there seem to be a lot more ways for her to create a polished, healthy appeal). I wish I could be more helpful on this point.


  18. Charity said:

    I have been online dating heavily since March this year and I have a pixie cut. I have more men tell me they find it attractive. I am also 5’3″ and a size 12! Which, let me tell you, a lot of men seem to find attractive. So I believe that if you are comfortable with yourself and work with what you have you will have no issues meeting men. I do believe that short hair isn’t for everyone but I have a face for it. Good luck all!!!

  19. Fiona said:

    The purest soap I know is Castille soap. It’s not expensive and can be bought in Health or natural food stores. It can be used straight for washing skin but with an emollient for hair. BTW Pantene Pro V BB etc is most definitely available and you have not been ‘done’.

  20. Teri said:

    Ok ladies and gentlemen…. my issue. I’m in early 50’s but I look older. I think to having chemo/radiation. I am better now but want to look better. Have some noticeable crows feet, lines above my lips and signs of early aging. I little drooping has started and I am about ready for a face lift. Can anyone suggest more natural remedies. I have been given a second chance and I want to look better, and looking better I will feel better. Thank you all in advance for any help.

    • Zi said:

      Weekly honey mask will plump up skin while also cleansing it… I actually go to sleep with it on; my skin seems to absorb most of it in a few hours.

      I’ve been reading a lot about micro-radio frequency facial stimulation and soft-laser treatments, you might google these or look at the Verseo website.

      • Zi said:

        Oh yes, and Hain’s Organic Cold-Pressed Virgin Coconut oil as moisturizer is heavenly and soaks deeply and quickly into skin. Once you’ve used this, you’ll never go back to more commercial products.

    • Zi said:

      Congratulations on your recovery and great joie de vivre!

    • Cici said:

      Queen Helene products, for me it is their original ‘Mud Pack Masque’ with natural clay, it softens lines while tightens sagging skin, and their ‘Grape Seed peel-off Masque’ cleans pores and evens tone, they have other products, these work for my skin type, every woman has a slightly different skin type so maybe one of their other products may be better for you, they are fairly inexpensive, reliable and been around for a long time. They have always be consistently simple formulas, and the few things they changed over all these years (because they were that good to begin with) have all been good changes so far. Hopefully they continue to produce this quality of a product….

  21. Soria said:

    Hi James, You may be correct regarding silky hair and clear eyes, but encouraging ladies to tan because ‘mean prefer a tanned body’ maybe in the US I cannot comment, but here in Europe not too sure.
    For me tanning is impossible and for a large number of natural blondes and redheads. My very white skin has never been an issue, infact most men love it, or maybe it is the lack of prune like wrinkles they like

    • James Bauer said:

      Yes, sometimes knowing what people prefer doesn’t help. I would not tan either due to the skin cancer risks.

  22. Jackie said:

    Illumask light therapy at home mask is barely $30 and has great reviews for improving the healthy look of skin compexion

  23. Kathleen Pitcher said:

    Bio identical hormones plumps the skin, causes hair growth, breasts to be full and rounded, keeps bones strong and overall revitalizes all your organs. It keeps you young.

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