But you also want romance in your life.
The problem is, you’re short on time.
You cram as much as possible into each day. You run from one commitment to another. You complete errand after errand.
But your task list doesn’t seem to get any shorter. And at the end of each day, you’re exhausted.
You don’t see how you could possibly find time to date.
For your own sake, please don’t think that way. If you really want love in your life, you can find the time.
Which is not to say it will be easy.
To fit dating into your life, you will need to use a few tactics that less busy people don’t need.
We’ll start with a tactic I call “the overlap.”
This is an “outside-the-box” way of thinking. Here’s the gist. Think of something you need to do anyway, and make it into a date.
It’s not as crazy as it sounds. Let me show you some examples:
- Take your car in for an oil change and get coffee while you wait.
- Return books to the library and pick out new ones together.
- Ask him to join you for a fitness activity you attend, like cycling, yoga, or just a walk in the park.
These are errand dates. I’ve talked to women who swear by this technique. Because they get to date while getting stuff done.
And perhaps even more important is this. Women tell me guys really get into this. It’s like they have a “mission” to help you with. And that makes them relax a little more than they otherwise would.
Maybe you like this idea. Maybe not. Either way, you’ll definitely need to use this next tactic.
The “Personal Appointment” Tactic
If you’re a busy person, you probably rely on a calendar or schedule on your smart phone. It keeps you on track. It’s full of business meetings, dentist appointments, and other important stuff.
Scheduling something on your calendar means that time slot is reserved. There’s lots of other important stuff in your life, but you fit it in around the things that are already scheduled.
You probably know what I’m going to say, don’t you? Because this is sound personal-development advice you’ve likely heard before.
But I’ll go ahead and say it…
The things you value most in life should go on your calendar. Otherwise, your personal life just gets the left over crumbs of your time, and sometimes not even that.
In the business world, they say, “Whatever gets measured improves.” If you measure how many times the phone rings before someone picks it up, that tends to improve. If you measure customer satisfaction, it will improve.
Why? Because measuring something makes you more aware of it. It’s like setting a goal and having constant reminders of that goal. Improvement becomes almost inevitable.
It’s kind of like that with setting aside time for dating and relationships. If you actually reserve an hour on your calendar for learning how to use an online dating website, you’re far more likely to do it.
It works because your calendar is another way of setting a goal. Your goal is to use that hour for that specific activity.
But it also works because it forces you to budget and re-prioritize all the other time-hogs in your life.
Sure, you like spending time with friends, but would two hours instead of three hours be okay? I know your book club is refreshing, but instead of hosting it, could you just attend on occasion?
You see, the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with can’t put himself on your calendar. You probably haven’t even met him yet. Which means you have to put him on your calendar. You have to set aside an hour to brainstorm the best places to meet guys. You have to set aside an hour to create systems or hire help to get stuff done so you can free up more time for dating.
Put it on your calendar. Then you’ll treat it more seriously. And you’ll discover that you actually can fit in all the other important stuff.
Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox now. But let’s touch on one last tactic for time-starved romantics before we quit for the day.
Be More Selective
Going out to “pick up” guys may seem like a waste of time. Because it’s a crapshoot.
You might find a guy. You might not. But your chances of finding someone right for you are slim.
My advice is simple. Stop doing it. Remove that tactic from your tool belt of dating methods.
Instead, use more selective methods. The more selective you get about where you look for a guy, the less time it takes to find a good match.
- Look for niche dating sites “your guy” is likely to use.They exist for specific interests, locations, ages, religions, and more. Choose only the best ones for you.
- Put out feelers.Make sure friends and others know what you’re looking for. Being set up gets a bad rap. But sometimes other people are better at picking your ideal man than you are. Especially if you tell them exactly what you want.
- Attend niche events.Figure out where your ideal guy is likely to hang out. Then go there. It can be an actual niche dating event. But it doesn’t have to be. In fact, casual events relieve a lot of pressure.
One more tip – guard your time.
Don’t go on a date with every potential guy. Email or text first. Talk on the phone. Video chat.
If things go well, then take the time for a real date. Even something as simple as coffee.
The bottom line is that you can – and should – try to fit love into your life. Be smart and creative. Use your calendar to reserve time for your personal life. Be selective. And find ways to overlap dating with the stuff you’ve already got going on.