Is He Ignoring My Text?

Is He Ignoring My Text?It’s an annoyingly helpless feeling. You sent him a text message, and now you’re waiting for the reply. Minutes tick by. Then half an hour. An hour, and still you’re waiting.

The longer you have to wait, the more anxious you feel. Is he snubbing you? Did he take your last message the wrong way? Is he losing interest? What does it mean?

The truth is, most of the time it doesn’t mean anything.

There’s this great video called “I Forgot My Phone.” It depicts a young woman in all kinds of social situations. The other people she’s with, her friends and even her boyfriend, are constantly on their phones. She stands out because she’s the only one who doesn’t have an electronic device in hand. She’s more focused on the things going on around her than updating her social networks.

What about you? Are you one of those people who treats your smartphone like an appendage? If so, I can understand why it would freak you out when he doesn’t reply quickly. Your phone is always with you. If you don’t reply immediately, there’s a reason.

But I want you to consider two things.

First, not everyone carries their smartphone around with them 24/7. Maybe he’s the kind of guy who leaves his phone on his dresser or desk and doesn’t notice a new notification until hours later. He may not be ignoring or avoiding you at all. It’s entirely possible that he’s just busy living life in the real world instead of keeping himself tethered to the digital world.

And if you think about it, isn’t that a good thing? Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who’s more invested in being present when he’s with you than updating his Facebook status?

Ultimately, that indicates balance in his life.

Here’s the second thing to think about. When relationships are developing, they’re both exciting and scary. It’s totally normal to get a little nervous when you’re waiting for him to reply to a text message. But if you allow yourself to stay in panic mode until he responds, that’s bad.

As a dating relationship coach, I can tell you panic puts you in a dangerous state of mind. It sets you up for being short, irritable and self-conscious. It’s not at all conducive to you being your most attractive self.

Is He Ignoring My Text?So the next time you find yourself waiting for a response from him don’t just sit around worrying. Instead, use it as a reminder to get out there and live your life. Put your phone down. Engage in meaningful conversation with a friend. Take a walk. Tackle a project you’ve been putting off. Do something.

Waiting for a response is never fun, but you can turn that downtime into a positive thing. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Recognize it as information about who he is. That knowledge may come in handy the next time you get a text alert while looking deeply into his eyes.


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18 thoughts on “Is He Ignoring My Text?

  1. Esther said:

    I am learning a lot from reading all these comments.I once had a wonderful relationship that I ruined it for not handling me emotions well. Whenever he didn’t respond to my texts I was interpreting it he is busy with another woman or just he has forgotten me but was wrong.I was so insecure and lacked confidence with myself and this drew him far from me until he got another woman. Now I understand how I should have acted. These days I feel no insecurity and with my subsequent relationship. Happy that I came across this platform to learn these fundermental truths of a lasting happy relationship. Thanks to all of you for making me a better lover.

    • James Bauer said:

      Nice! We’re glad to be a part of your journey, Esther. πŸ™‚

  2. Donna said:

    Good advise and stories and the others.and from u.i’ve been in that situation and have got anxious and upset and also have tried and been patience.I’ve ended up hurt and upset and disappointed
    But also have had to let it go and not worried.but someone of the advise that u and the others have said I will be trying again andv doing different this time .if and when this happens again to me.thanks.I enjoy reading what u write and put out for others and myself to read.thanks

  3. Kai said:

    It’s funny because of all the times I get anxious about a reply back. I keep remembering the people (romantic or not) who keep peppering me with texts and it feels like they’re demanding attention from me, rather than genuinely caring about me.

    So I get it, I do something fun for myself, and before I know it, I get a text back from the person I WANT to hear from.

  4. Jennifer said:

    Not sure how to classify my situation, but I have read through some of the posts vey helpful advice. Here’s what happen I met someone on line we hit it off heard from from him everyday and several times. We went out to dinner. As soon as we saw each other we immediately hugged and he kissed me on the lips. I did think it was a bit odd for the first time seeing each other but it wasn’t a bad feeling it felt right. we talked all night got along very well we just clicked. It was as if I’ve known him for years and we’ve been together for quite some time. He made all the moves as far as holding my hand putting his hand on my leg rubbing my back when we were leaving the restaurant. We were walking around this part that does the Christmas lights thing every year and then we are walking around talking and the whole time he was holding my hand and even at one point we stood by a bridge and he was standing behind me with his arms around me playing with my hair. So my question really is it I can’t don’t understand how I could’ve gotten all The signals is wrong. It said to me on numerous occasions that he wasn’t going anywhere and that we would figure this out. For five days after our dinner and night out I heard from him every day and then the last day all I got was good morning and I haven’t heard from him since it’s been over a week so I got the impression something scared him off. Where there any signals that I missed?

  5. Margaret said:

    1 text if no reply go on I would take it as a msg that you don’t want to be bothered by me. Next!

  6. Nina said:

    I contacted my ex via text after 7 months. It was a nice but not romantic text. He responded immediately and seemed happy to hear from me. He said he was going into a meeting and can we catch up later. I said yes and that I looked forward to chatting. It’s been a week and “later” has not happened. Do I just forget about it or do I send him a “how’s your holiday season so far?” text?

    • James Bauer said:

      A gentle reminder would help, but I understand why you don’t want to seem desperate.

      It would be funny to text him something like, “this must be a very long meeting you’re in,” but it’s too risky because he might take it the wrong way.

      So instead, here’s my suggestion. Think of a totally different reason to text him, preferably an excuse to ask him for his opinion, advice, or help with something. This gives the impression that you too have forgotten about the prior encounter. Yet it also gets you back on his radar.

      • Nina said:

        Good Idea James. I’ll have to think of something. What happens if there is no response to this? I really don’t want to chase him but would like a pulse check on what he’s been up to(and with whom)!

  7. Sandy said:

    Many times men are ignoring you. Giving hope when they shouldn’t have any is wrong. This idea keeps women holding on when they should just walk away.

  8. Suzi said:

    The answer to the question of “how do I become my man’s priority?” is don’t make him yours…I know that sounds wrong , but if you are spending all of your time concentrating on him and what he is doing, you have no time or effort to make your life fulfilling. Men do not like to be studied under a microscope.Do things that you like to do and have fun. If he sees you are doing things and wants to be a part of your life, he will step up.It really is that simple…

    • Sandra said:

      Great advice Suzi ! Learning to do this ! Time to water my own garden and enjoy the flowers rather than waiting for him to bring me flowers πŸ˜‰

  9. Suzi said:

    If I was the last text in the conversation, I wait…If he doesnt respond back, I acknowledge and move on. There are so many people out there who want to relationship build and enjoy my company that I do zero chasing… πŸ™‚

  10. Gigi said:

    *1 phone call and 2 texts over the course of 2 weeks*

  11. Gigi said:

    Good post. What are your thoughts when they don’t reply….for more than a week or longer ,lol. Someone you have known a long time and someone you have been seeing off and on for a few years. How many attempts do you make? Personally, I stop after 3 attempts over the course of 2 weeks with no response.

    • James Bauer said:

      I think your approach makes sense, Gigi.


    • Cristiane Bustamante said:

      If he is offline, ok!
      and when he is online but doesnt answer..?? And then goes offlline..
      Or read your message but doesnt answer?

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