My Smoldering Hot Fantasy

eye contact in relationshipsOkay, I admit I’ve done some weird things in my life, but most of them were in pursuit of knowledge as a dating coach.

I remember when a friend of mine dared me to dial a phone number, 1-800 FAT GIRLS (328-4457). This was ten years ago, so I have no idea what the phone number dials now, but at the time it was a recording of a woman’s voice, introducing some kind of credit card offer after several seconds of innuendos about sex delivered with an exaggerated sexy tone of voice.

The message was cleverly suggesting double meanings about things you can do with credit cards.

I wondered after hearing that message whether the company actually made any money with that strange form of advertising. One thing companies know for sure is that sex sells.

As a dating coach, it’s useful to me to know what (specifically) men find sexy and alluring about women. You can imagine the strange looks I get from men when I ask them to tell me what they find attractive. I rarely get a straight answer, but my persistence has paid off.

In today’s email I am going to cue you in on my own personal fantasy. I’m going to tell you about one particular thing you can do to automatically turn on a guy’s interest.

Some time ago I was using myself as a guinea pig, pondering what kinds of things a woman could do to catch my attention. I realized there was one thing in particular that would be hard to beat. I asked quite a few men about it before realizing it was not my own personal fantasy at all. It was a fairly universal way to automatically flip the switch in a man’s brain if there was any chance of attraction at all.

eye contact in relationshipsIt all comes down to eye contact.

You know what I’m talking about. I’m not talking about normal eye contact. I’m talking about the kind of eye contact that has two ingredients, glue and intensity. Her interest causes her eyes to be glued almost exclusively on you.

Men find this intoxicating (maybe it’s their big egos). There is intensity in the look on her face that suggests she is not just daydreaming. She is present. She is interested. It’s this feeling of being the target of someone’s intense interest that is so alluring.

Obviously you have to be careful with this concept in real life. You can take it too far if you’re not careful.

Nonetheless, the powerful effect is staggering. It can freeze a man’s mind mid-sentence at the moment when he suddenly realizes you are not going to look away. Used in moderation, this technique can do wonders for a relationship you are already in. Eye contact can be a powerful aphrodisiac.

Try spicing things up with your boyfriend by tracking his movements as he moves around the room when it’s just the two of you. When he asks what you’re doing (with a sheepish grin on his face), tell him the truth, “I’m making eyes at you.” You can’t even turn off this powerful effect by openly labeling it.

If that’s a little too silly for you, say something like, “I find you very attractive. Why shouldn’t I look at you?”

Talk to you soon!

James


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9 thoughts on “My Smoldering Hot Fantasy

  1. W.L. said:

    Maybe I should have been warned. My friend many times would look down when telling me about himself. He seldom looked up at me.

  2. Lovely said:

    This is really amazing. Eye contact really does some wonders

  3. Barbie said:

    My ex boyfriend would tell me my dark brown eyes had sparkles in them!! It made me fill special to him like he could see into my soul and see how much I loved him.

  4. Sara said:

    The eyes are the windows to the soul…so you could say you are making a soul connection when staring into his eyes.

  5. Sara said:

    oh yes, I’m using this many times ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m from south europe, so I’m used to capture men with my dark brown eyes. I know that intense eye contacts isn’t considered polite in every culture, but who cares ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. barbie said:

    u can glance st someones figure, but the eyes are what I really see first , eyes can say a lot , jest always been like that !!

  7. Sandi said:

    I totally agree with this. As I’ve used it many times.

  8. sharon hicks said:

    This is all very true, I was blessed with very long eyelashes and eyes like emeralds , I have been told by men and woman how captivating my eyes are. And yes I use this technique already, the subtle look down and slowly look up to see the man I am with starring at me..locked in a coma like state.. When it’s time for sex one glance at my eyes he knows he has turned me on…and yes I watch as we are intimate and he will look at me, sometime he will catch the fire and pleasure in my eyes as well as my body, and it makes him want me more…

  9. Sheila said:

    I have found this very true, especially with Latinos. It is where I learned that when they followed me with their eyes, they were truly interested in me. It was a little disconerting at first because in America growing up, most of us were taught that staring was rude. Different cultures find it alluring.

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