Nine Ways to Woo Your Man

Ways to Woo Your ManEveryone likes small, unexpected gifts. But if you want to surprise your man with something pleasant, flowers and chocolates aren’t the way to go.

Instead, you need to think outside the box. Below you’ll find a list of 9 simple things you can do to delight the guy in your life. Every one of them is quick and inexpensive, but the payoff in your relationship can be huge.

1. Dress up. I’m not talking about full-on formal wear, and I’m not talking about dressing provocatively, either. This is as simple as wearing an outfit he likes or taking the time to do your hair and make-up, even for a casual day of hanging out.

Guys are visual creatures. When you take the time to dress in something he likes, it shows that you’re thinking about him and you want him to be thinking about you, too.

2. Little reminders. A note before work. A call during the day, just to tell him you’re looking forward to seeing him later. Anything short and sweet that lets him know he’s on your mind.

The key here is to keep it simple. You don’t have to write a sonnet. A sentence or two is enough. If you really want to go all out, bonus points for racy pictures sent discreetly in the middle of a stressful day.

3. Make connections with his connections. Is your man really close to someone in his family? Like, for example, his mom? Try taking that person out to lunch and just be your charming self. Showing him you care about the other people in his life lets him know how much he means to you.

4. Mix it up. His drink, that is. Whatever his poison, be it coffee, tea or a classic martini, learn how to make his drink just the way he likes it. Perfecting his preferred libation shows how attentive you are to his needs.

5. Make a list. Any time he mentions something he’s excited to check out, make a note of it. This includes movies he wants to see, games he wants for his Xbox, or anything else.

It doesn’t have to be big. We’re not talking about the Porsche he’s always dreamed of. Tickets to a movie (that you are not particularly interested in) will work just fine. Paying attention to what he’s into goes a long way. Plus, you’ll look like a gift-giving mind reader, and what guy isn’t into that?

6. Kiss him. Not a peck. A real kiss.

When was the last time you randomly walked up to your man and planted a long passionate kiss square on his lips? This works great when you’re parting ways in the morning. It’ll give him something to think about all day until he gets home to you.

And speaking of keeping him thinking about you…

7. Send him a sensual text message. Just a quick sentence or two implying that you’re looking forward to a romp in the bedroom when he gets home is more than enough to spark his appreciation of the intimacy you share as a couple.

8. Heat his towel in the drier. I’m talking about something simple and unexpected. While he’s in the shower, warm a second towel in the dryer. When he’s almost done, quietly replace the one he had ready. He’ll have a warm, fluffy towel waiting for him.

9. Bake something. Anything. Like you’ve heard your whole life, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Men love food, and they love the people who feed them. If there’s something specific his mom or grandmother made that he really enjoys, a quick phone call is likely all it will take to track down the recipe.

Ways to Woo Your Man

There you have it–nine things you can do that are sure to win his attention.

As you use these tips, keep in mind that little things can have a profound effect. You don’t have to do anything elaborate to let him know you care. Just be attentive and invested in him and the things he likes.

That’s really all it takes to woo your man.

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23 thoughts on “Nine Ways to Woo Your Man

  1. Rayan said:

    I tried baking things and found actually what he loves is what I love in terms of favorite foods. He appreciated the gesture but that doesn’t make the relationship better towards the end. We are in the stage of breaking up because he said that he is too practical person and that I’m romantic person who loves surprises and gestures. He doesn’t believe he can meet my expectations. He said that before but I didn’t know what he meant. Now he said he is too practical, that he is married to his job and I’m expecting phone contacts frequently. So do you think it will workout with our two different personalities?

    • Rayan said:

      And I also said I’m accepting him the way he is because in my mind he can’t meet my expectation for me. It doesn’t sound like he doesn’t want to continue. I understand the two terms differently and beyond that, I used to make all the efforts because he told me this is the way he is even with his family. No communication unless there is something urgent so I assumed he doesn’t make efforts because this his personality. Now after he said our mentalities are too different for this to work. That means he didn’t make the effort because he doesn’t believe it will work out right?

    • James Bauer said:

      Hey Rayan, that’s a very good question. Men back away from relationships when they believe they will fail to be seen as “a success” in the eyes of a woman, even if he loves her. Please review Module 5 of my relationship course (His Secret Obsession) titled Why Men Say “I’m Just not Ready.” It will give you some important tips and insights about this exact scenario.

  2. Sara said:

    I agree that you have to build the chase and anticipation for your guy. For ex: you have an idea for a date you text him about. Then just leave it at that and let him do the rest. And don’t get pouty and start nagging if he doesn’t care for that type of activity.

    • James Bauer said:

      Good advice, Sara. Thanks for adding that!

  3. How ironic you pick this topic to share with everyone. I’ve been doing something very similar of my own recently. Think it fits in with number 2. A little reminder.

    I’ve been seeing someone frequently over the past two months I’d met on one of those online dating sites . From the start we seemed to click right off the bat. However, we’re not close enough to see each other more than maybe once a week since there’s some driving distance between us. We do keep in touch with texting in between visits though.

    John (not his real name) is financially better off than I am, but a very down to earth man. I’m not intimidated by his wealth and am not in a position to buy him extravagant gifts. I did, however, come across something that was probably worth a lot more than anything I could possibly buy him.

    When we met he would usually end up watching “Spongebob Squarepants”. His children are full grown and don’t live with him. I’m guessing it’s a stress reliever or other after a long day/week at work. Since we’re still in the early stages of our relationship I’m not going to rock the boat with him on this one. It could be worse I suppose. If it makes him happy I can live with it. Besides I spent several years watching the show with my children when they were growing up.

    I came across an old box of Spongebob Squarepants styrofoam stickers I’d bought my kids years ago and it gave me an idea. I grabbed a few, put them in an envelope and mailed them off to him. Told John I’d sent him a little surprise in the mail and would give him hints until it arrived. All week long I’ve texted him a hint each day with a small picture of the contents. Was nothing bigger than the size of a puzzle piece.

    I know his job can be pretty stressful and it’s just a small something to take his mind off things and remind him of me. He did figure it out yesterday when the text I sent him was a small picture of Spongebob’s yellow foot. Was great seeing him text me back with “Spongbob!” and a smiley face.

    Told him if anyone would have to told me years ago when I watched the show with my kids that someday I’d be watching it with a man who stole my heart, I’d have called them crazy. Somehow I think I won him over twice with this one. Amazing how it really is the simpler things that mean much more than anything money could buy.

    I’ll be looking over the other ways on your list James to see what I could do next . Keep up the good work! Love your column!

    • James Bauer said:

      “John” is very lucky to have a creative, passionate woman like you.

  4. Anastasija said:

    Thank You, James!

  5. Karryn said:

    Hi James
    I do “all the above” but I feel over the years Ive fallen into a grey area of some sort and have become his really good friend who is always there for him rather than his life time lover ?
    He now has no choice but to work away through the week and only coming home on weekends- this is when Partners look forward to a weekend of sexual togetherness … But Nothing ! Ziltch ! It’s now to the stage if I don’t initiate it I don’t get it.. Therefore I feel like I’m violating his personal space! Sex isn’t even spoken of now, he comes home each week, works hard, says he loves me – but says his interest in sex is no longer there ? I’m so in love with this masculine hard working man … I’m baffled.. Any ideas ?

    • James Bauer said:

      Hi Karryn. Libido goes up and down across a man’s life span. Some men have a higher libido to start with while others have a baseline libido that is much lower.

      Just like women, there’s a percentage of men who never feel a sex drive strong enough to pursue it actively. But in your case, it sounds like you’re describing a man who is going through a time where stress and physiological changes have lowered his drive for sex. It’s hard not to take it personally, but let me remind you of something.

      Most of a person’s desire for sex actually comes from within themselves. Yes, a partner can trigger feelings of arousal, but only if there is a baseline drive for sex within the person themselves based on their own hormone state and physical state. I’m just reminding you of this so that you don’t despair about the relationship just because the intimacy factor is not strong right now.

  6. Maria said:

    Hi James: While I appreciate all of the great advice I have to question it. I have a disability and use a wheelchair. It do not seem to matter that I am intelligent, pretty, funny, etc. men are extremely uncomfortable with “challenges”. I am 47 and I have tried these techniques at one time or another and men just think I’m either being friendly or they realize they are starting to feel something, think it’s wrong to have those feelings for someone like me and turn and run. This is not only hurtful to me personally, it makes wonder what they would do if they were in a relationship with a women and she were to have an accident or be diagnosed with a disabling disease. I think men need to learn that every woman is a quality human being.
    I have a lot of love to give and I pray that there is a man who is man enough to take it and give in return. Would love to learn your thoughts.
    Maria J. Clark
    Lecturer/Sexuality Educator

    • James Bauer said:

      Hi Maria. You sound like a woman who is ready and willing to find a great partner. I hope the right man shows up in your life and works to create balanced pursuit with you.

      Sometimes online dating sites can be asking for trouble, but I wonder if you might find them a useful tool since you might find it gives you a way to connect with people who see you as a possible romantic partner from the start.

  7. Florence said:

    Love the article… very true that simple things do make such a big difference. Thanks James…:-)

  8. Irene said:

    My boyfriend likes receiving happy normal photos of me in addition to racy ones periodically. Yet another inexpensive way to say “hi…I’m thinking of you.”

  9. shanti said:

    I admit I’m a little bit confused. Just recently I’v read from other relationships specialists that men actually want to deserve and to conqeur the woman, to chase her, to make an effort to “get” her, otherwise she won’t be able to make him commit to her. In other words, if woman is showing openly how much she cares and loves him and doing nice things for him, she will soon or later loose him on a woman who will be hard to get, a little bit bitchy and not so “nice” and caring.
    I also made an experience ( in my youth) that when I showed the man openly how much I love him and care for him, he suddenly pulled back or even started to cheat on me, with the excuse that I was just too good for him. So during my marriage I had to learn that is safe and wonderful to show the man how much I care, without being afraid of loosing him or scaring him.
    With my current boyfriend I try to keep the golden mean, because I don’t want to make mistakes anymore. That’s why I’m reading blogs like this, even with 48 years there is a lot to learn.
    I love to show my man that I care about him and that he is very important for me, but I don’t want to appear “too good” again. So, as I said, I’m confused about those contradictorily advices…

    • James Bauer said:

      Hi Shanti. You are absolutely right. Men need to feel that they are on an adventure and that their efforts are meaningful and yield productive results. Men want to feel like they are making progress toward a mission. And that’s the key: progress.

      Misguided relationship “specialists” often see part of the story but they don’t understand the underlying mechanisms at work. On the surface, it seems like playing “hard to get” is the key. In reality, it’s giving him a challenge in which he can make progress toward achieving a goal. Playing hard to get can work only for very short periods of time, usually only at the start of a relationship. It’s a failing strategy for the long-term.

      For the long term, you have to understand the underlying concept of giving him the opportunity to build toward something. And if you think about it, who would want to be in a relationship where you’re not allowed to improve each other’s quality of life for fear of losing your partner? Even if it worked, I wouldn’t want to be a part of that.

      This is a very important topic and one I plan to explore in more detail in an upcoming course I will be releasing this year. It’s not easy to explain in just a few sentences how to keep that progress going indefinitely in a long-term relationship. But, for now, I will just assure you that ignoring ways to show your love is not the key to a lasting relationship you can both enjoy.

      And now just a quick note about the specific situation where someone might think you are too good for them. Part of the momentum and progress you want to generate in a long-term relationship is giving him opportunities to succeed at making you happy. A man who has not yet locked into that relationship-centered purpose might feel you are too good, but your challenge is to draw him into that same opportunity for making progress. Men love progress and if you show him how he can work toward progress and make you happy at the same time, everyone wins.


      • shanti said:

        Thank you James! This makes sense to me! I knew you will have a good explanation as usual!

  10. Norma Alejandro said:

    Very interesting steps. I love all of them. Please, sent more of these, that are very interesting advice for all woman.

  11. Josephine said:

    Nice one, thanks!

  12. anita said:

    Nice steps especially number 5

  13. Rita Casey said:

    Love this so far

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