7 Ways to Make Online Dating as Awesome as it Should Be

7 Ways to Make Online Dating as Awesome as it Should BeOnline dating is super easy. It’s not even hard to find good guys. But finding a good guy who’s right for YOU—now, that can be a challenge.

It’s kind of like shopping online. Have you ever bought something online only to send it right back?

Maybe it was a summer dress. Or a cute top. Or, if you’re really daring, a pair of skinny jeans. Whatever the specifics, it looked amazing on the website. But when it arrived and you slipped it on . . . ugh.

The picture was misleading. The quality was poor. The color was off. Or, it just didn’t work when you saw it in person.

If you’re something of a fashionista, this can be a real problem. The internet is great for finding killer deals. But who cares if you have to return most of the stuff?

Does this remind anyone of internet dating?

Never before in human history has it been easier to meet potential partners. There are tons of online dating services. But holy cow, can they be a pain. How many guys look great online, only to leave you disappointed in person?

I’ve talked to plenty of women who just don’t do internet dating anymore. They’ve had too many bad experiences. I get that.

But at the same time, online dating can be great. It gives you a chance to spell out exactly what you’re looking for and learn a little something about possible matches just by browsing profiles. In theory, it’s a great idea.

There’s got to be a way to make internet dating as awesome as it could be.

There is.

The following 7 tips are your guide to getting the most out of online dating services. Stick to these suggestions, and you’ll be way more likely to find the kind of love you’re looking for.

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Why Convincing Your Ex Never Works… (and what does)

When you’ve shared a special connection with someone, it’s hard to let it go.

Especially when you know there’s still a lot of potential if he would just open his heart again.

You could build a beautiful life together.

If that’s something you want, then it’s only natural you would try to convince him that he should give the relationship another shot. After all, convincing him feels like the right thing to do.

Why would you not try to reason with him? Why wouldn’t you try to show him he’s making a mistake by pulling away?

Yet this is one of those times in life when our instincts lead us awry. Because convincing your ex never works. Fortunately, I know something that does.

Triggering feelings.

Here’s the thing, triggering feelings will always trump logical argument.

Why? Because emotions run the show. We humans are not as rational as we’d like to believe. That’s true of all forms of decision-making, but especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

(By the way, If you’d like laser-targeted advice about getting your ex to talk to you again, check out my Relationship Rewrite Method here).

Emotion. It’s your best shot at winning him back.

I care about all my clients. But I have to be honest, sometimes a client’s story tugs at my heart and it gets personal for me. That was the case with Leah, a mother of five, the oldest of whom was born when she and the father were both seventeen, just high school sweethearts.

I’ll admit there was a judgmental part of me that thought Leah and Joel had been incredibly irresponsible to start having children while they were still children themselves. But I soon forgot all about that as I learned of the beautiful family they had created together. These two clearly belonged together.  

And it was difficult to watch this beautiful family be torn apart by a short series of missteps and what I’ll call “almost-infidelity.” First by one, and then (in reaction) by the other.

Leah sought out my professional services first. Joel had moved out three months earlier. I could tell we had our work cut out for us.

Joel joined us a few sessions later. He was complacent with me and defiant with Leah. He had his mind made up. The hurt was just too great. But he claimed it was because Leah was “crazy.”

Leah, on the other hand, was not ready to let go of what they shared. She was going to fight for their love.

She had fire in her eyes every time she spoke directly to Joel in our sessions, demanding that he stop living the life of a bachelor, pursuing other women while her life began to look more and more like that of a single mother, just struggling to get by.

And this is where things get complicated for me. It was hard for me to maintain professional objectivity. You see, I wanted to convince Joel as well. I wanted to jump in with Leah and fight for this little family to survive.

Fortunately, I knew better.

So I privately began to teach Leah the techniques I’m going to share with you today. Let me show you the difference between convincing your ex versus triggering the right kind of feelings.

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Beat Negativity for a Positively Amazing Romance

Beat Negativity for a Positively Amazing RomanceYou know what really sucks about having a bad day? Everything.

I have a friend—let’s call her Sarah—who was having a rotten day recently. She slept late, her boss was on her butt the second she walked through the door, clients were upset, and halfway through the afternoon, her evening plans got canceled.

Sarah’s not one to give up easily. She tried to bounce back. She opened a new browser window, did a quick search for bad day inspiration and landed on a page full of gems like these:

  • “The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.” – Dennis S. Brown
  • “Sometimes you need those bad days to help you appreciate the good ones.”
  • “At midnight, even bad days come to an end.” – Ms. Moem

And to top things off . . .

  • “A bad day is only as bad as you let it be.” – James Yager

That last one broke her effort to be positive. She was ready to scream at her monitor. Only as bad as you let it be? Really?!

All that positivity felt like nonsense—which is the essence of a bad day. It makes everything feel tainted.

Every one of those quotes is true, but that’s not much comfort on a bad day. Almost nothing is. That’s exactly why you need to be careful how you interact with your partner on bad days.

Negativity that has nothing to do with your relationship can all-too-easily mess with romance.

When you’re in a negative frame of mind, you’ll be drawn to negative perceptions and negative conclusions. That’s true down to the neurological level.

A team of researchers recently confirmed this. When you’re depressed, even your brain shifts toward cynicism. You’ll be more likely to use negative words and make negative choices.

Time with your man at the end of a crappy day can make things feel better. But only if you keep that negativity from creeping its way into your relationship.

Thankfully, there’s a way to do that . . . without invalidating how you feel. The following three ideas will help you be authentic—even at the end of a horrible day—without wrecking date night.

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Improve Your Self-Image to Boost Your Love Life

Improve Your Self-Image to Boost Your Love LifeI found a cool method to supercharge your dating life and your self-image at the same time.

Allow me to briefly explain what I’ve discovered.

Your self-image and romantic life are closely linked.

Consider the dating app called Tinder. Well, actually, let’s consider a study[1] done about Tinder.

Researchers set out to understand the differences in how men and women take selfies for this dating app. Here’s what they discovered. The majority of men look down at the camera when taking selfies. Most women look up.

The researchers concluded this could be attributed to several different factors. Most men are taller than most women, so it could just be pragmatic. But they also floated the theory that camera position was indicative of something deeper.

What if it has to do with . . . how we see ourselves? For example, do men look down because they feel confident as they approach dating? Are women implying something about their self-worth by looking up at men?

There wasn’t anything conclusive about this research. But it got me thinking. How you see yourself plays a huge role in how other people see you. Especially in the context of a romantic relationship.

People can read your self-image like an instruction manual. It tells them a lot about how you expect to be treated.

Without even realizing you’re doing it, you’re showing him how to treat you, how much to respect you, what the balance of power in the relationship should be, and even how much he should value you.

Of course, taking the time to cultivate your self-image is good for you even if you’re single. You’ll be happier with a strong self-image. Plus, the better your self-image is, the better your dating experiences will be.

So, what does it take to boost your self-image? There are three questions that can lead you to a useful answer.

None of these questions are complex, but they will push you to do some honest self-exploration.

Are you up for it?

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