Rank the following in order of importance to you in dating:
- Male attention
- Getting a ring
- Landing the guy that got away
- Connecting with someone
Research shows that only ONE of those options is guaranteed to make you happier. Which one is it? I’ll tell you in a minute, but first…
You know how important it is to have goals. If you didn’t have goals, you’d end up spinning your wheels. Goals move you forward. They challenge you to decide what you want and what you’re going to do to get it.
In dating, your goals might include going on a certain number of dates per week or always getting asked on a second date.
But here’s the kicker:
Achieving those goals won’t necessarily make you any happier.
How many times have you gotten something you REALLY wanted and worked hard for…
Only to feel much the same after the initial buzz wore off?
Getting what we want doesn’t always make us feel any better.
It turns out that WHY you pursue your goals matters even more than WHAT those goals are.
Pursue a goal for the right reasons, and you’ll feel a lot happier—even if you never achieve it.
Pursue a goal for the wrong reasons, and you’ll end up feeling more anxious and unhappy—even if you manage to achieve it.
That’s especially true in dating.
If you date from a place of extrinsic motivation, you’ll find dating a lot more stressful and difficult.
If you date from a place of intrinsic motivation, you’ll find dating a lot more fun and satisfying.
So what are these two different types of motivation, and how can you use them to succeed in dating?Continue reading