I have a small change to suggest today.
You’ve probably done it before. I’m just suggesting you do it again (and perhaps more often).
“Attracting Through Irresistible Qualities”… That’s the tagline I wish I had been clever enough to think of when I started my BeIrresistible.com website.
Those of you who have been through my relationship course, What Men Secretly Want will be familiar with this next concept.
It’s easier to approach someone when you have something to give.
You tend to feel a little more awkward and hesitant to approach a stranger when there’s something you want.
Imagine you’re sitting in an airport, waiting for your flight to board. In the same waiting area there’s an attractive, eligible-looking man sitting nearby. Score!
The presence of an attractive man is one thing; finding an easy way to start a conversation with him is another.
Imagine he gets up to board the plane, and you notice he left his cell phone behind.
Suddenly, approaching him becomes very easy. You have something to give. You are the giver. In that role, you feel relaxed and confident about catching his attention.
It’s very different when you start with something you want.
You get all hot and sweaty trying to think up a good excuse for striking up a conversation. The fear is that he will see through you and know what you want. You’re not ready to reveal that level of interest. You feel awkward.
Being irresistible means practicing the mental states that cause others to feel drawn to you.
So I want to encourage you to get into a particular frame of mind more often. I’m talking about the frame of mind of someone who is a giver.
One of my favorite ways to do this is to send a blessing into the lives of other people I encounter during the course of my day.
It reverses the human tendency to automatically make judgments about other people all day long.
As I cross a crowded street, my human mind automatically judges other people.
I may judge the way they style their hair, how tall or short they are, whether they seem to be more attractive than me or less attractive than me. Do they seem more affluent than me, or less?
All that judging is stressful on the human soul. It leaves me either feeling superior to others or inferior to others. I find neither position helpful.
When I catch myself judging someone else, it now serves as my automatic reminder to send a blessing. I become a giver.
When I become a giver, there’s a subtle change in the way I walk. There’s a subtle gentleness, a sort of kindness in my eyes.
It could be entirely in my imagination, but I believe I exude warmth when I am succeeding at adopting the role of a giver.
You may or may not have read some of the interesting research studies about the way simple prayers can positively impact the course of events for patients in hospitals.
I was once employed as a research assistant for a meta-analysis of a lot of those studies. It was interesting, but kind of odd to me.
To me, it seems an intercessory prayer is something spiritual, not something you are likely to succeed at measuring with scientific methods.
Nonetheless, astonishing results have been documented. Positive intentions and mental blessings seem to do something that science can measure.
Regardless of whether that is actually true, the mental act of sending a blessing puts you in the role of a giver.
And that has real power.
I recommend you adopt this habit as your own. If it feels right to you, speak a blessing in your thoughts each time you approach a person you would like to connect with.
It will bring a subtle change, but a change in the right direction. It will enhance your charisma.
You will take on the confidence of the giver.
And even if it does nothing for your charisma, perhaps there is a chance you have done something positive for someone else.
Always on your side,