When you’re really interested in a guy, how do you show it?
- Tell him straight off the bat?
- Invade his personal space?
- Drop a hint to his friends?
Each option has advantages and drawbacks.
Telling him straight off the bat means you don’t have to wait around wondering if he feels the same way. But you might scare him off.
Flirting is a time-honored way to indicate interest. But some men can be oblivious.
Invading his personal space is a clear sign you want to get close. But he can take it to mean you want sex, rather than a real relationship.
Dropping a hint to his friends ensures your interest will find its way to his ears. But it’s kind of grade school, isn’t it?
Guys have it easier. In their world, there’s only one socially-acceptable way to show interest in a girl:
Ask her out.
If a man can’t get up the courage to ask her out, the idea goes, then he’s not much of a man.
A man’s interest is black-and-white. You don’t have to decode his body language or decipher his mysterious texts. All you have to do is notice if he’s asking to see you again … or not.
This “man code” puts a lot of pressure on guys. Even though they don’t have to figure out the best way to show a woman they’re interested, they have to buck up and ask her out—knowing she could say no.
The shame and humiliation of rejection puts a lot of guys off from asking women out. They’d rather admire her from afar than face the cold hard reality of her indifference.
These guys need a little help from you.
If you suspect a guy is interested in you but hasn’t asked you out yet, your job is to make it easy for him to ask you out.
If he jumps on that opening and asks you out, then you know for sure he’s into you.
(And if you go out with him and he asks to see you again, then he’s DEFINITELY into you!)
If he doesn’t ask you out, even though you’ve made it super-easy for him, then he’s not into you enough. Move on to someone who is. So here’s what you do if you want to clear the way for him to ask you out:
1. Make him feel rejection-proof.
The biggest obstacle holding guys back from asking a woman out is fear of rejection. Even the toughest guy will feel the sting when a woman turns him down.
That’s why it takes most guys a little time before they’ll ask you out. They want to be confident you’ll say yes before approaching you.
You can help him out by giving him the right signals. When he smiles at you, smile back. When he flirts with you, flirt back. Say things like:
- “I like spending time with you.”
- “I feel like we could talk forever.”
- “We should hang out more.”
You can even slip him date ideas such as:
- “I can’t wait to see that new movie.”
- “There’s this hiking trail I’ve been meaning to try.”
- “Have you tried that coffee shop? I was wondering how it was.”
2. Find time to talk to him one-on-one.
A guy isn’t going to ask you out with a crowd around. He wants to ask you in private—so that no one else will see his shame if you turn him down.
Pay attention to his efforts to get you alone. A guy who wants one-on-one time with you is a guy who’s building up the courage to ask you out.
3. Use technology to give him a boost.
These days, many men feel more confident typing words into their phone than they do opening their mouth in front of a woman they want to impress.
Technology gives them the opportunity to think through what they want to say before sending it.
So pay attention to a guy’s requests to connect with you on social media or get your cellphone number. He may prefer to ask you out via text or direct message.
And if he gives you HIS number and suggests you call? Unless you really like him, give it a pass.
A guy who won’t ask you for your number—but expects you to call him—is putting all the pressure on you to do his job for him.
Sure, asking a woman out is risky. But it’s what men do when they’re interested, according to the man code. Expecting a woman to ask you out is a cop out.
Men aren’t as complicated as they seem. If they want to get to know a woman, they’ll find ways to spend time with her, regardless of the obstacles in their way.