How Do You Make a Man Like You?

How Do You Make a Man Like You?I love it when I get asked:

“How do you make someone like you?”

It’s a fantastic question. Because we all want to be liked.

We want to make friends, or win fans, or excel at networking. We want the social approval that smooths the way to success.

But where the question gets really interesting is with respect to romance.

To a certain extent, the same skills that help you win friends also help you attract the opposite sex. Being friendly, approachable, and interested in other people always helps.

Mindset matters, too. If you believe you have to “make” people like you, you end up performing like a trick horse to win their attention. But if you genuinely believe that everyone loves you already—they just don’t know you yet—your confidence wins hearts.

But romance is different from winning friends in one important respect:

Being liked isn’t enough.

You want him to be interested in you as a potential girlfriend. And that means he’s got to look at you differently than his other female friends. There’s got to be a spark of intrigue, chemistry, and a deeper sort of fascination.

How in the world do you whip up that potent cocktail?

Do you make sure you’re always looking as sexy as you possibly can—without being too obvious? Do you flirt so subtly he’s never quite sure if you mean it?

Do you alternate friendliness with coolness, so you keep him off guard?

Here are three lesser-known tactics that work just as well.

  1. Open up to ANY relationship, not just one with him.

One of the biggest blocks to attraction is being emotionally or energetically closed off.

Envision a woman who’s in love with her co-worker. He sits just a few cubicles down from her, but she’s too afraid to make eye contact or stop and chat with him. She wants him to like her, but she’s afraid of making a move in case he rejects her.

There’s an easy way to reduce the risk of rejection, and that’s by opening yourself up emotionally to any new relationship, whether it’s romantic or not.

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How to Tell if He’s Just Fishing

how to tell if he's not interestedIt seemed so promising.

You were thrilled when this guy you met online asked for your mobile number. Although you’re careful about giving out your number (after some bad experiences with unwanted pictures), this guy seemed genuine. His texts were funny, interesting, and kept you thinking about him.

After a few weeks, though, fascination was turning to irritation. The constant texting was getting old. Why wasn’t he asking you out?

Maybe because he’s just fishing.

As a means of communication, texting was made for men. They can get to the point without wasting time on small talk. They don’t have to reply unless they feel like it. They can communicate with lots of people with very little time investment.

Even better, text messages serve as bait. No need to meet in person when he can send the same witty one-liner to every girl in his phonebook.

He can wait to see who bites before sending a follow-up. Texts are an efficient, effective way to connect without risking rejection.

Which is why you should be wary of the guy who’d rather text you than see you:

He may be more interested in the pursuit than dealing with a flesh-and-blood female.

Technology has been a blessing and a curse to dating. You’re no longer limited to bumping into someone at the grocery store or wasting an evening at the local dive. You can theoretically meet men across the world and strike up a relationship solely through the use of technology.

But it comes at a cost.

Technology is addictive in a way that hanging out with someone isn’t. Internet use triggers the release of dopamine in the brain, the same chemical behind more well-known addictions like alcohol or drug addiction. Dopamine spurs “seeking behavior.” Addicts are convinced that everything they could ever want is online, if they just browse long enough.

Meet in person, however, and a different neurochemical profile dominates.

As you fall for each other over a candlelit meal, you enjoy the happy feelings brought on by dopamine in conjunction with oxytocin and serotonin. As you hold hands or hug goodbye, a burst of oxytocin gives you a feeling of connection and contentment. A bond exists between you now. You’re more than just a name on his phone.

So, what about that man who keeps texting you or messaging you, without asking to meet?

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The Best Way to Find the Type of Guy You Really Want Online

how to find the right guy onlineThere’s a problem with online dating sites.

It’s not that there aren’t enough guys using them. Or even enough good guys.

The problem is that it’s incredibly difficult to find the specific type of man you want.

Luckily, there’s a powerful tool all online dating sites have. This tool can help you weed out lots of bad matches. And focus on exactly what you want.

Unfortunately, it’s a tool most people don’t use very well.

I’m talking about the search function.

Now, undoubtedly, you have used search on dating sites. But I can almost guarantee that you have done one of two things:

1) Kept it too general, or

2) Gotten too specific

Both cause different issues and frustrations.

If you’re too general, you’ll get lots of matches. Maybe even too many matches. But almost none will be close to what you want.

If you’re too specific, you may end up with no matches.

Either scenario can leave you feeling frustrated. And very, very alone.

You might start to think there are no worthwhile guys online. No one who matches what you’re really looking for.

But I guarantee this isn’t true. So many people use online dating sites today. There are men online that are well-suited for you. Probably quite a few of them.

The trick is knowing how to find them.

Using search the right way helps a lot. So I’m going to teach you exactly how to do that.

But first, let’s talk a bit about dating sites themselves and the types of people they attract. Because if you want to find “your” type of man, the first step is to go where he is.

If this were the “real” world, I would tell you to frequent places your “type” is likely to be. Join activities they enjoy. And so on.

Online dating is no different in this respect.

There are a ridiculous number of niche dating sites out there. For people of specific ages. Particular religions. Those who are gluten-free. Farmers. (Yes, you read that right. Farmers!)

I could go on and on.

So before you do anything else, search for sites that match characteristics you want in your ideal guy. And give them a try.

Once you’re on a few, it’s time to learn how to search the right way.

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Attract Your Perfect Mate Using Nothing More than Your Expectations

How To Attract The Perfect MateEveryone says, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

But what if that’s backwards?

What if you can’t see something until you believe it’s possible?

Let me give you an example.

Every day, men smile at women they’d secretly love to get to know better. Women smile back, thinking, he’s cute. But, because neither person believes it’s possible that the other person could feel the same way, they go their separate ways. They miss making that connection, because they don’t believe it’s possible.

Do you do that?

Take a moment to think about all the single men you cross paths with who are roughly in your age range. How many of those men would be interested in getting to know you better?

Chances are good it’s more than you think.

It’s so easy to be dismissive. A man lingers to talk to you, and you don’t think anything about it. He’s nice, you think, and you go about the rest of your day. Meanwhile, he’s cursing himself. He fumbled it, he didn’t spark any chemistry, he didn’t take the conversation further.

This can happen over and over again. Meanwhile, you’re thinking, “No one ever asks me out. I guess I’m just not that attractive.”

One of the biggest differences between women who date a lot and women who can never find a date is that women who date a lot expect men to be attracted to them.

These women have a strong belief system that goes like this:

If you’re female, of course men would be attracted to you! Men are always attracted to women. It’s a law of nature.

Women who struggle to find a date tend to believe something different:

Men are only attracted to extremely attractive women. They ignore ordinary women. If you’re ordinary, men will ignore you.

If you look for evidence of men making a beeline towards extremely attractive women and ignoring the rest, you’ll find it.

If you look for evidence of men chatting up all kinds of women, even those who aren’t conventionally attractive, you’ll find that, too.

We all tend to pick up on things that confirm what we already believe. In fact, our beliefs create our experiences to a much greater extent than we realize.
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