Moving on after you break up with someone isn’t rocket science. Ask anyone, and they’ll tell you: it takes time.
But this can be frustrating. Especially if you want to get back out there and find someone.
So, I’ve got some good news for you. There are things you can do to get over your ex faster if you can’t stop obsessing about him.
The key is to look at “problem” post-break-up behaviors in a new light. Here are the kind of behaviors I’m talking about:
- You wake up. The first thing you reach for is your phone…to check his Facebook. This is something you will do at least a dozen times throughout the day.
- Whenever your phone buzzes, you immediately glance to see if it’s him.
- Checking text messages leads to reading over old texts from him. Ditto emails.
- You think about calling or messaging him all the time. You might even do it.
- Your friends notice you are lost in thought when doing things at locations where you used to hang out with your guy.
To one degree or another, we’ve all been there. It’s not a new problem. It’s not a unique problem.
In fact, some experts say breakup obsessions look like a temporary version of a specific psychological disorder…called obsessive compulsive disorder.
So if you want to get over your ex faster, you can use a standard self-help technique for OCD.
I will dive into that momentarily. But before going further, I want to take a second to talk about what not to do.
Many people are tempted to avoid triggers. Some are even advised to do this.
Don’t go to that restaurant you loved. Hide your phone. Stay off your computer.
But I disagree with this. Because it’s unrealistic. And because avoidance never works when it’s a mental thing.
Your painful thoughts or memories will return. And avoidance intensifies your fear of facing them.
What I want you to do instead is use that self-help technique I promised to share: schedule your obsession.
It’s a way to take back control of your mind.