You’re excited to see your guy. He walks in the door, gives you a quick peck on the cheek, and…
…hardly notices the fact that you’re absolutely beaming at the sight of him.
Immediately, you’re wondering what gives. Does he not like the new outfit? Geez, you were sure he’d be a fan. Or is he just being a jerk? I mean, how hard is it to give you an enthusiastic greeting?
But what if his lack of excitement has nothing to do with you?
I’m talking about a phenomenon called “Fundamental Attribution Error.” Fundamental Attribution Error is defined as our “tendency to give personality-based explanations for other peoples’ behavior more weight than situational factors.”
In other words, we tend to assume the way people treat us is a reflection of how they feel about us. But much of the time, that assumption is dead wrong.
In the example above, maybe your guy seems distracted because he’s distracted. After all, there’s a lot of other stuff going on in his life.
That doesn’t mean you’re not important to him. It just means you’re not always the center of his universe.
And even though that makes perfect sense, Fundamental Attribution Error is incredibly common. Practically everyone does it. Not only that, but it’s almost impossible to avoid.
So how do you deal with those moments when Fundamental Attribution Error kicks in?
You can outwit your own knee-jerk assumptions by doing just two things.