How to Get More Love in Your Life

How to Get More Love in Your LifeWe all want more love.

Not even getting the perfect relationship can guarantee you’ll have enough. Couples who’ve been together for years don’t always feel loved the way they’d hoped.

Getting more love in your life doesn’t start with changing your man, or even getting a man.

It starts with changing how you think about love.

Dr. Barbara De Angelis asks a provocative question in her latest book, The Choice for Love.

“What if we could be in love all the time?” she wonders.

What if love isn’t something you get … but rather something you are?

I’ve often been intrigued by the disconnect between how loved someone feels and the quality of their relationship.

I’ve met women who feel absolutely adored, despite the curt or even rude way they’re treated by their men.

I’ve also met women who feel emotionally abandoned, despite having a husband who cares deeply and tries his best.

Dr. De Angelis has an intriguing explanation for this.

She suggests that inside each of us is an ocean of love.

Sometimes this ocean rises up like a great wave, overwhelming us with joy. Sometimes the waters recede, leaving us feeling empty and alone.

The ebb and flow of our own emotions are what makes us feel loved sometimes and not at other times.

From this perspective, no one can give you love—or take it away. The love you feel is always your own.

This is such an empowering metaphor. It helps us visualize the truth that love is an inside job.

How to Get More Love in Your LifeIf you decide that you’re going to fall in love with your life, just as it is, then no one can stop you. So what if one particular man doesn’t return your affections? You still have an entire ocean of love inside you.

Your quest shifts from finding a relationship that will give you the love you don’t have … to finding out what causes that mysterious surge of love inside your heart.

So try this. Get curious about why you feel love at certain times and not others. Can you remember the last few times you felt that rush of love? What was happening? Who were you with? What were you thinking about?

To help you on your quest, here are 3 love triggers. They pave the way for an overwhelming sense of love in your heart—with or without a man.

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Getting Your Romance In Alignment with the Rest of Your Life

how to find the right relationshipHave you ever given thought to how much influence your man has over your life? Both day-to-day happiness, and your overall direction?

His influence is profound.

If you were a fan of the TV show The Office, you’ve seen a fictional version of this in action. By the end of the series, Jim and Pam were married and had kids. But they started as friends, and Pam was engaged to one of the guys who worked in the warehouse.

Pam was the receptionist back then, though she dreamed of a career in graphic design.

But her former fiancé wasn’t supportive of her artistic interests. He wasn’t invested in planning (or even setting a date for) the wedding, either. In fact, Pam was more of an accessory in his life than a focal point.

And it showed. She didn’t pursue any of her dreams. Her boyfriend was a HUGE factor.

The people you surround yourself with can raise you up or pull you down. In fact, recent research shows that even the person you sit next to at work can affect your performance!

Think about how much more significant your partner is.

You need a man who fits with the rest of your life. I’m talking about romance that aligns with everything else that matters to you.

If you can find alignment in the three areas below, you’ll be happier, healthier, and much more likely to have the kind of love you want.

This is the stuff of lasting romance…

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Finding “The One” Is Tough. Here’s One Place You Should Always Look.

How To Find Just for a second, imagine your perfect guy. Not in terms of looks or chemistry. Focus on the mundane stuff. The things you’re actually going to care about a year from now.

  • You want a man who is willing to spend Saturday afternoon binge-watching your favorite TV show.
  • Someone who will really listen as you tell him boring stories from your day or vent about petty annoyances.
  • Someone you don’t have to dress up for. But who offers genuine compliments when you do.
  • You want a guy who puts you at ease. Who you can laugh with. Who understands your particular brand of crazy.

It can seem like this guy simply doesn’t exist. But for many women, he’s actually already in their lives.

I’m talking about that male friend who has fallen off your romantic radar. Or maybe was never on your romantic radar in the first place.

We tend to discount people who we’ve placed in “friend zone.” But we shouldn’t. Because the real foundation of a lasting relationship isn’t physical attraction.

What makes relationships work long-term, according to both anecdotal evidence and relationship studies, is friendship.

If you already have that foundation in place, so much the better.

So what’s stopped you from considering this guy in the past? Let me guess…

“But I don’t think of him that way.”

“If he liked me, he would have already made a move.”

“I don’t want to make things weird between us.”

Let me answer these fears one at a time.

  1. “But I don’t think of him that way.”That doesn’t mean you can’t. Do a test run. Try thinking of him in “that way” for two weeks. You might be surprised what happens.
  2. “If he liked me, he would have already made a move.”You don’t know that. Maybe he’s secretly pining for you but afraid to go for it.
  3. “I don’t want to make things weird between us.”Fair enough. If you try a relationship and it fails, things will likely always be different. But “different” doesn’t necessarily mean bad. That is, as long as you guys talk about it openly.

And if it does work out, you could have something extraordinary instead.

So I’m going to help you determine whether or not it’s worth taking this leap.

First, I’ll share signs that can tell you if he’s interested. Then I’ll show you a simple technique that can help take him out of your own mental “friend zone.”

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