You shouldn’t need a man. You should be independent and self-sufficient. You should seek a partner to complement you, not complete you.
Those “shoulds” come from everywhere. Culture. Advice columns. Friends.
It’s not surprising that more and more women are afraid to come out and speak their hearts’ truest desires. They want relationships. They don’t feel complete when they go home to an empty apartment. They don’t want more girlfriends; they want that one special best friend who’s at their side for life.
Recently, the Dalai Lama co-authored an article in the New York Times about the importance of being needed. He mentioned a study that found that elderly people who didn’t feel useful were at much greater risk of premature death. “Feeling superfluous,” he wrote, “is a blow to the human spirit.”
Today, men are feeling more superfluous than ever.
Modern superwomen don’t need them. Women can buy a house, skyrocket up the career ladder, and build a killer investment portfolio, all without a man. Women can even have children without men. Who needs men?
Women need men.
Women need men to love and be loved.
Men need women for the same reasons.
When that natural desire is denied or suppressed, romance dies.
In an attempt to prove how little they need one another, men and women often treat relationships as transactions. “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine.” These exchanges feel hollow and unsatisfying.
Dating becomes a game of pretending you’re kind of interested but only if he’s interested, and if he’s not interested you’re definitely not interested. Who’s going to break first?
I want to give you 3 ways to break that pattern and show a man you want him in your life, without worrying that you’ll be penalized for appearing needy.