Get into His Heart by Learning Exactly How He Wants to Be Loved

how to love your man“Love” means something different to everyone.

Discovering how your guy wants to be loved can help you connect. It’s like finding the key to his heart. You can tap into a deeper part of who he is.

Shower him with “his” type of love, and he’ll be hooked. I’m going to show you three ways to figure out the type of love your guy responds to best.

But first let’s quickly review the concept of “love languages.” It’s the idea that there are five basic ways to express your love.

Kind words. Physical affection. Acts of service. Gifts. Quality time.

Each of us has a preference for one of these “languages.”

If kind words really matter, you’ll feel closer to someone who thanks you. Who tells you they appreciate you. Who flatters you.

People who respond to acts of service might melt if you wash their car for them. Or bring them chicken noodle soup when they’re sick.

If physical affection is your thing, hugs can make you feel more connected. Or holding hands. Or a back rub.

Things show gift-lovers that you care. Birthday presents. Cards. Flowers. Takeout from their favorite restaurant.

Finally, those moved by quality time just want you around them. And can feel slighted when you don’t make time.

Basically, when someone “speaks our love language,” we feel loved. When they don’t, we’re left cold.

But here’s the problem with love languages. We tend to express love in the way we want it expressed to us.

That’s fine if you and the guy you like speak the same love language. Not so great if you don’t.

Let’s look at an example:

GWEN: I really wanted to thank you for coming over to jump my car yesterday.

BARRY: Sure thing. It was no big deal.

GWEN: But it was. You went out of your way for me. That means a lot.

BARRY: Well, I’m glad I could help.

GWEN: Most people wouldn’t have. You’re a really great guy, Barry.

BARRY: (joking) Stop, you’re embarrassing me.

GWEN: I mean it. I feel really lucky to have a friend like you.

BARRY: Okay, fine, I’ll let you buy me lunch today.

GWEN: Oh. Actually, I can’t today. Raincheck?

BARRY: (trying not to look disappointed) Sure, sure.

GWEN: You really are my hero though.

BARRY: Uh-huh. I should probably go.

GWEN: Oh, okay…

Gwen tries to show Barry his help mattered. By telling him. She’s effusive. Her words are incredibly nice. Glowing even.

It’s likely compliments like these would move her, but he mostly shrugs them off. For Barry, words clearly just don’t do it.

Based on his lunch request, Barry’s “language” is likely either gifts or quality time. But Gwen doesn’t see the importance of those things. So it’s a missed connection.

Speaking different love languages doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker though. You just have to learn his language. And then train yourself to express love in the way he needs.

There are three simple tricks you can use to discover his love language.

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The Golden Rule When Giving Gifts to Guys

Giving Gifts to GuysYou’ve met a sweet guy who you can’t stop thinking about. Everywhere you go, you see things that make you think of him. You even keep seeing things that you think he should own—a gorgeous tie, a funny t-shirt, a new watch…

Stop, right there!

Don’t get me wrong—guys love receiving gifts as much as most women do. After all, most men also grew up eagerly waiting for special occasions that are all about gift giving.

So what’s the catch? Traditional gender roles.

Times may be changing, but traditional gender roles still have power. Boys are allowed to get excited about gifts, but over time, they learn to be less visibly excited about the receiving part. Why?

From a young age, men are programmed to see themselves as providers. Naturally, this affects their relationship to gift receiving too.

That’s right. While most women enjoy receiving gifts—even on a first date—for most men the opposite holds true.

Picture a woman showing up with a gift on a first or even fourth date while her date stands around empty handed. Sure, a few guys might be happy to accept the gift and get on with the date, but this could also be the start of a dating disaster.

But don’t worry! A few simple tips can help you navigate the guys and gifts dilemma.

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