Mentalists are stage magicians who specialize in “mind control” tricks. Here’s an example.
The mentalist asks you to think of a number. While you’re thinking, he writes a number down on a clipboard right in front of you, but shielding the number from view. Then you say your number out loud and, with a flourish, he turns the clipboard to reveal…YOUR NUMBER!
But it’s not magic at all. When he first appears to write your number down, he’s not really writing anything. Then, when you say your number out loud, he uses a small bit of pencil lead embedded in a fake fingertip to write your number just before he reveals it.
It’s a simple trick, but it’s also powerful. In fact, a recent study put volunteers through a series of “mind control” simulations like the one above and then asked how they felt when they were being “controlled.”[i]
The participants said they could feel thoughts being inserted into their heads! It was all fake, but that didn’t matter. They still FELT controlled.
The study teaches us that you can have control over something, but still feel completely out of control. When that happens, it affects your choices, your attitude, and your experiences.
Think about that in the context of your relationships. Dating can be chaotic. Sometimes it feels like you have no control, and that feeling will definitely affect how you interact with your man.
The truth is you ALWAYS have some control. You’re one of the two people steering the whole relationship. So it’s important that you always feel that control.
There are three things you can do to keep from feeling helpless or out of control in the topsy-turvy world of dating. Think of these as mind control tricks you can use on yourself.