How to Use Mind Control to Get the Relationship You Want

How to Get the Relationship You WantHave you ever seen a “mentalist” perform?

Mentalists are stage magicians who specialize in “mind control” tricks. Here’s an example.

The mentalist asks you to think of a number. While you’re thinking, he writes a number down on a clipboard right in front of you, but shielding the number from view. Then you say your number out loud and, with a flourish, he turns the clipboard to reveal…YOUR NUMBER!

But it’s not magic at all. When he first appears to write your number down, he’s not really writing anything. Then, when you say your number out loud, he uses a small bit of pencil lead embedded in a fake fingertip to write your number just before he reveals it.

It’s a simple trick, but it’s also powerful. In fact, a recent study put volunteers through a series of “mind control” simulations like the one above and then asked how they felt when they were being “controlled.”[i]

The participants said they could feel thoughts being inserted into their heads! It was all fake, but that didn’t matter. They still FELT controlled.

The study teaches us that you can have control over something, but still feel completely out of control. When that happens, it affects your choices, your attitude, and your experiences.

Think about that in the context of your relationships. Dating can be chaotic. Sometimes it feels like you have no control, and that feeling will definitely affect how you interact with your man.

The truth is you ALWAYS have some control. You’re one of the two people steering the whole relationship. So it’s important that you always feel that control.

There are three things you can do to keep from feeling helpless or out of control in the topsy-turvy world of dating. Think of these as mind control tricks you can use on yourself.

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How to Use Smoke and Mirrors to Make Your Relationship Great

How To Have a Great RelationshipWhich of the following two scenarios do you think would get better results?

There’s a local coffee shop. The shop owner wants to start giving customers rewards cards. After a customer buys so many coffees, they get one free.

But he has two versions of the card. One has 10 spaces, the other 12. But here’s the catch. If he uses the cards with 12 spaces, he plans to stamp the cards twice when he hands them out…saying, “Here are two stamps to give you a head start.”

Either way, you have to buy 10 coffees to get a free one. Which card do you think would be more effective as motivation?

Believe it or not, someone’s has actually done a study[i] on this. Despite the fact that folks have to buy just as many drinks to get a free one, the card with 12 slots is consistently more motivating!

Why? Researchers concluded that it’s because progress, in and of itself, is motivating.

The progress doesn’t even have to be real. Just the FEELING of progress is enough to keep you going.

Of course, the inverse is true, too. If you feel like you’re not making progress, your motivation takes a serious hit.

Which is why it’s so very important that you and your guy feel like your relationship is moving forward. You need to feel like things are improving and that you’re growing as a couple. If you don’t, you’ll be less inclined to give the relationship your all.

But remember, it’s not even actual progress that matters for motivation. It’s the feeling of progress that keeps us engaged.

With that in mind, I have three mind-hacks for keeping you and your guy motivated to make your relationship as awesome as it can possibly be.

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The Magical Moment That Tells Him You’re Like No One Else

How To Be Special To HimIt happens in every relationship.

You say something, and there’s an awkward silence. Tension descends. Something’s wrong. You don’t know what. He looks away. His mouth is tight.

Fear hits you in the gut. You’re losing him! You can’t let that happen.

What you do next tells him if this is going to be a relationship like every other…

Or if it’s going to be the one that upends everything he thought was true about love.

So what do you do when that awkward moment happens? When you notice that something you said hit him the wrong way, but you’re not sure why?

Maybe you backtrack. You keep talking, trying to rephrase the sentence or explain yourself. You talk and talk and talk until you get some reaction out of him, any reaction. Then you see him smile, and you breathe a sigh of relief. Phew … crisis over.

There’s an alternative:

Stop.

Breathe.

And face up.

“I feel like I said the wrong thing there. That wasn’t my intention.”

Wow.

How often do you think he hears that?

Not enough, that’s for sure.

Apologies are tricky. Research shows that women say sorry a lot more than men. But it’s not always for good reasons. Many women apologize for things that don’t require an apology, such as getting bumped, being offended, or taking longer to do something than expected.

When you apologize too much for trivial things, “sorry” loses its meaning.

On the other side of the spectrum, some people reserve their “sorry” for times when it really matters. It goes without saying that an apology is required after a major mistake. But most of us don’t make major mistakes that often. We can get out of the habit of saying sorry, which makes it awkward when we do have to apologize.

There’s a third way to use apologies, one that you don’t hear much about:

To acknowledge how he’s feeling.
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How to Achieve Dating Bliss

how to have dating successThere’s a trick to being happy in dating.

Actually, this trick works for any relationship at any stage. You can use it with your family, friends, coworkers, boss, and yes, your partner. If you learn how to do this one thing, I can promise you every relationship in your life will be better.

But there’s a catch.

It’s a bit counter-intuitive. Enough so that you may disagree with me when I tell you. All I ask is that you give me the rest of this article. I think you’ll come around.

So what is this trick? Simple. Be selfish.

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