“His Secret Obsession” Is the Key to James Bauer’s Relationship Course for Women

What is “his secret obsession”?

His Secret ObsessionWe talk about being “obsessed” a lot. Like when we’re obsessed with a certain TV show. When we can’t get enough of a favorite food. When we can’t put down a book. When we obsess over a desired goal.

Obsession has become a catch-all term for things that we really, really like.

But it’s really something more powerful than that. It’s the driving force that shapes our motivation. It can even shape your personal life story, like a narrative that’s built around a main goal or purpose in life.

Merriam-Webster defines obsession in a few ways:

  • a “compelling motivation”
  • “a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an idea or feeling”

And here are two definitions from Dictionary.com:

  • “the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.”
  • “the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.”

So, an obsession is a psychological condition. It’s more than something we want. It’s a state of being. Continue reading

How to Deal With That ONE THING That’s Not Working In Your Relationship

dealing with relationship problemsFill in the blank in the following sentence. Ready?

Everything about my current relationship is great…except _______________________.

What did you put in the blank?

It sucks when almost everything about a dating relationship works. It is because it feels like you are just so close to heaven on earth… If it wasn’t for that one annoying issue.

And yet, it’s extremely common. Often, even really solid couples have one or two core complaints about each other.

But as common as this is, most folks don’t know how to get over the hump. And, ironically, when everything else seems to fit, it makes that one thing that doesn’t fit really stick out.

Like a thorn in your side.

Recently, I came across some good advice for dealing with this kind of thing. In a constant quest to bring you the very best relationship tips, I read a lot – everything from psychological journals to the kinds of magazines you find in supermarkets.

This little tidbit was in an article in Glamour. It was specifically about sex, but the principle can be applied to anything that’s holding you back.

Check out this quote:

“According to sex therapist Vanessa Marin, [getting past that one thing] all comes down to how willing you and your partner are to work on it. If you both are, there’s usually something that can be done. And if one of you isn’t, your relationship probably has bigger problems than sex.”[i]

That’s dead-on.

As long as you and your guy can communicate effectively, no single issue should undo your whole relationship.

So, the real question is when something’s holding your relationship back, how do the two of you work through it?

It’s not too tough as long as you have a good strategy, and the following pointers can help.

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Facebook Encourages Cheating?

does facebook lead to cheatingApparently, Twitter and Facebook use can be hazardous to the health of your relationship.

It wasn’t that long ago that a study published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking announced Facebook increases the risk of cheating. According to the article, the temptation lies in reconnecting with an ex, which is ridiculously easy to do on Facebook.

Now we’re being told that online Twitter spats often spill over to the real world, leaving romantic partners at each others’ throats offline. This, courtesy of a study done by the University of Missouri.

Now, before you decide the folks at U of M are getting a little tech-paranoid, think about the logic behind these findings. Facebook and Twitter are all about connecting people, right? You’ve undoubtedly caught up with someone you haven’t seen in years via one of these social networks. They keep us all plugged in.

But, there’s a downside, too. People tend to be meaner online.does facebook lead to cheating

I’m hardly the first person to make this observation. The prevailing opinion is that the distance we feel sitting safely behind our keyboards allows us to be more candid and less tactful than we would be face-to-face.

If you tear into someone online and then see them a few hours later, things are going to be…awkward. Given the strong possibility that you came across more aggressively online than you would have in person, it’s easy to see how this dynamic can lead to some problems.

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How to Spot an Emotionally Mature Man

How to spot a mature manYour intuition will be your guide to recognizing an emotionally mature man. Many women make the mistake of ignoring their intuition when they meet an attractive guy who shows interest in them.

If you have not already enhanced your intuition with my course on intuition for dating, get access to those materials and invest in that important personal skill. It will help you in many areas of life beyond the world of dating and relationships. You can find information by clicking here.

Beyond intuition, there are a few specific things you can look for to help you determine whether a guy is emotionally mature enough for a committed relationship.

Probably the easiest way you can tell is simply by looking at his friends. It’s not a foolproof indicator of maturity, but generally speaking, immature friends suggest he may be more immature than he lets on when interacting with you.

Want to find a man who is ready for marriage? Then look for a man whose friends have been getting engaged or married within the past year. It speaks to his stage of life, and statistics seem to suggest people are more likely to look for a serious commitment when their friends begin to tie the knot.

The reverse is true as well. A man whose friends are getting wasted in the corner, throwing spit balls at the waitress, and making lewd remarks about what might go on between you and this guy later… well, you can probably guess what that would suggest about his attitudes, even if he does not admit to them because he senses you are a woman of higher class.

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