It would be great if you could.
Then you could see exactly what he sees when he looks at you.
You could see why he loves you, or why he turned away.
You could see whether that mole on your cheek is sexy or distracting.
You could see what you really look like in that dress your friend made you buy…
And whether those blond highlights really cover up the gray in your hair like your hairdresser claims.
You’d never have to guess what people think of you ever again.
And you’d regret it forevermore.
There’s a very good reason we don’t know what other people really think of us. It comes down to what’s known as the self-enhancement bias.
In short, we all tend to think we’re better than average.
- Most people think they’re better drivers than everyone else.
- Most people think they look younger than they really are.
- Most people think they’re better looking than average.
- Most young people think they’re wiser than their age.
Even really smart people, like college professors, fall for it. 94% of college professors think their work is above average.
No one wants to be just average, even if they’re in really good company.
You’d think that this illusion of being better than other people would cause problems for us. What if you applied for a job on the basis that you were better than average at what you did, but your on-the-job performance showed otherwise?
It turns out that it’s not much of a problem. Here’s why it can actually be a good thing.
Many people apply for positions they’re not quite qualified for, only to learn on the job and rise to the occasion. Thinking of yourself as better than you are, can give you the confidence to strive higher.
Novices who think they have some innate talent work harder to master a skill. Given that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master anything, beginners need that motivation to keep at it—even if it’s a false belief.
So how can you use the self-enhancement bias to do better at dating?