Tempt Him With Happiness

Your happiness is a form of psychological wealth!  It’s the kind of wealth that has unlimited value.  You can’t buy happiness directly.  You can buy material things that contribute to your happiness, but behind each of those purchases is the desire to attain happiness itself.

I’ve mentioned before that one of the top reasons men give for having proposed to a woman comes down to his perception that she is happy and energetic.  Happiness can be contagious.  Someone who talks about the adventures they look forward to in life gets you thinking about the same kind of thing.  Someone who verbally appreciates the simple things-like really good dinner rolls or the elegant way a napkin was folded-makes for a better first date.

I have always liked the idea of helping my clients reduce anxiety about dating by thinking about what they can give to others rather than what they need to receive.  Don’t get me wrong.  I help my clients stick up for themselves and get their needs met too. It’s just more fun to start interactions with the mindset that you are bringing the best of yourself to an interaction no matter what comes next.

A lot of my clients are anxious about meeting a guy for the first time, citing fears like, “What if he’s just not my type when we meet in person?”  My response is usually something like, “Then focus on making the evening enjoyable by bringing the best of yourself to the interactions.  You’ve got nothing to lose.”  This is a positive psychology approach.  It rejects fear and the things you don’t want and refocuses your mind on living life to the fullest, one moment at a time.

Your happiness has extremely high value.  You bring that value to each person you interact with.  I think you will find it makes you a more confident person and a more attractive person when you remind yourself to savor and share your happiness.

James Bauer


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15 thoughts on “Tempt Him With Happiness

  1. Rosa Leguizamo said:

    So true…………….

    • James Bauer said:

      That’s something we will discuss another day. Good question though.

  2. Audrey said:

    I work in sales and the same is true for selling. I learned early on if I think about the customer and not my commissions, I do very, very well.

    • Sally Sunday said:

      Audrey, good thinking for a wonderful life! All aspects… Thanks.

  3. lm said:

    “I have always liked the idea of helping my clients reduce anxiety about dating by thinking about what they can give to others rather than what they need to receive.”

    As always, hoping your male clients are getting this wise advice as well, in addition to us women.

  4. Even when in an ongoing relationship it is good to think what would please your partner, because by doing so, you feel more pleasure as well (and mine has shown that he feels the same way – I see the delight in his eyes when I express my pleasure).

  5. Jo said:

    “Tempting him to be happy” makes both of you happy too. Sharing joy can both benefit positive outlook not just to yourself, in return you get what you both deserve…doing that to him I just got a compliment of him saying ” you inspired me and makes me want to spend more time with you”

  6. Olive said:

    great i like this. All the same, James thanks

  7. Doc said:

    The best advice I ever heard concerning going into a new relationship was to go into it with the mindset of “What have I got to give?” instead of focusing on what we expect to get. Obviously, we should be selective in certain areas of preference, but once those criteria are met, the best relationships are based on giving instead of getting – when both parties have this mindset, it can only be successful, because it is balanced – like a bank account – equal acts of deposits and withdrawals!

  8. Eden said:

    Very true I agree happiness is contagious. But is cheerful bubbly and energetic spirit learned personality? If so how?

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