But before I get to that I want to talk about the energy you bring to your relationship interactions. I’d like to challenge you to take responsibility for the energy you bring.
The term “responsible” is kind of heavy and not very fun. So maybe I’m not bringing the right energy to my writing today. Let me try again…
I’d like to challenge you to do more of what makes you awesome!
Relationships are wonderful things, yet they always have problems of one sort or another. Sometimes you can solve those problems quickly and easily, sometimes not. Either way, problems deserve some attention to see if they can be solved.
But… (and this is a big but)… You don’t want problem-solving to rob your relationship of the fun and joy it could otherwise have.
You see, in long-term relationships this is one of the big killers of passion and desire. Two people are drawn together by fun, attraction, and compatibility.
Then a few problems arise. As a result, one or both partners enter problem-solving mode. And that would be fine so long as you remember to exit the problem-solving mode when you’re not actively working on problems.
Why do you need to exit problem-solving mode?
Because it gets in the way of doing that simple thing I mentioned earlier. It gets in the way of doing what makes you awesome. And doing the things that make you awesome is what allows you to bring your best energy to relationship interactions.
Think about it. When a relationship problem has been frustrating you, do you still do all the things that make you wonderful to be around? Or do you shut down some of that positive energy?
If you’re like most people, you kind of hold back on positive energy when he’s not meeting all your needs. It’s kind of like a subconscious drive to punish him for not doing things right.
There’s a time and place for that, but consider the consequence of doing it all the time. The things that attracted him to you get suppressed. Many relationships end when neither partner can remember the last time they enjoyed each other’s company, and then conflict is piled on top of that equation.
So just remember the awesome equation. Every relationship improves when you add more of what makes you awesome. Balance problem-solving with a strong dose of positive energy. Doing so reflects faith that the relationship will endure and is worth enjoying even before you get every last problem squared away.
Always on your side,