It’s not that there aren’t enough guys using them. Or even enough good guys.
The problem is that it’s incredibly difficult to find the specific type of man you want.
Luckily, there’s a powerful tool all online dating sites have. This tool can help you weed out lots of bad matches. And focus on exactly what you want.
Unfortunately, it’s a tool most people don’t use very well.
I’m talking about the search function.
Now, undoubtedly, you have used search on dating sites. But I can almost guarantee that you have done one of two things:
1) Kept it too general, or
2) Gotten too specific
Both cause different issues and frustrations.
If you’re too general, you’ll get lots of matches. Maybe even too many matches. But almost none will be close to what you want.
If you’re too specific, you may end up with no matches.
Either scenario can leave you feeling frustrated. And very, very alone.
You might start to think there are no worthwhile guys online. No one who matches what you’re really looking for.
But I guarantee this isn’t true. So many people use online dating sites today. There are men online that are well-suited for you. Probably quite a few of them.
The trick is knowing how to find them.
Using search the right way helps a lot. So I’m going to teach you exactly how to do that.
But first, let’s talk a bit about dating sites themselves and the types of people they attract. Because if you want to find “your” type of man, the first step is to go where he is.
If this were the “real” world, I would tell you to frequent places your “type” is likely to be. Join activities they enjoy. And so on.
Online dating is no different in this respect.
There are a ridiculous number of niche dating sites out there. For people of specific ages. Particular religions. Those who are gluten-free. Farmers. (Yes, you read that right. Farmers!)
I could go on and on.
So before you do anything else, search for sites that match characteristics you want in your ideal guy. And give them a try.
Once you’re on a few, it’s time to learn how to search the right way.
As always, the first thing to do is think about what you want in a guy. He’s honest. He’s kind. He plays the cello. He has a six-pack.
Whatever your “must-haves” are, know them. Keep a list handy if it helps.
You will use this list to “refine” your search. Which is a fancy way of saying narrow your focus.
Most dating sites have many “refinement” options. By age. Distance. Interests. Values. Appearance. And more.
What I want you to do is get as specific as possible. I know, I know. I warned you about being too specific. But bear with me.
To get specific, you may have to think creatively about some of the categories. If you want a six-pack, for example, look under “Appearance” or choose “fitness” or “working out” as an interest.
When you have as many of your “must-haves” represented as you can, click search.
If you’re lucky, you’ll get a few results. Feel free to check them out. Maybe one will be the perfect guy. Maybe not.
More likely, you’ll get no results. Like I said – too specific.
Normally, this is the point where people get frustrated. Don’t.
Instead, take another look at your “refinement” list. Figure out what’s least important. Remove it. Then search again.
You can keep doing this as long as you are comfortable. Remove characteristics you can live without to broaden your search further.
But I have an additional suggestion.
Go back to that super-refined list. Last time, the first thing you removed was “six-pack.”
This time, leave it. Instead, decide that he doesn’t have to play the cello. See what results you get.
Hopefully, you’re starting to see how powerful search can be.
You can find very different groups of men who meet (many of) your requirements. And it teaches you how important the various characteristics you want really are.
So, take the time to really learn how to use your dating site’s search function. The right men are out there. And now that you know how to look, you can actually find them!