You can’t skip the introduction. That would be rude.
But what if you haven’t had a “state of the relationship” talk? What if nothing’s been defined? What do you say about him then?
It’s an unfortunate truth that most people default to introducing their significant other as “my friend.”
There’s a better way.
Don’t introduce him in terms of his relationship to you. Instead, introduce him in terms of what’s interesting about him.
“Oh! Jane! Hi. This is Jeff Thompson, one of the most creative artists you’ll ever meet.”
Sounds nice, doesn’t it? And yet you didn’t say whether he’s your friend, your boyfriend, your fiance, your casual fling, or anything else that starts with “your.”
Just start with his name. Then add something interesting about him.
This prevents him from coming to the conclusion that you see him as “just a friend,” or that you don’t feel comfortable with people thinking you’re an item.
Bonus points if you can make it sound like a compliment at the same time.
“This is Jeff Thompson, one of the best conversationalists you’ll meet in Chicago.”
There are three powerful benefits to this little conversational trick.
First, as I already mentioned, it prevents him from coming to the conclusion that you see him as “just a friend.” Believe me, he’s paying attention at those moments.
When a guy hears a girl he’s dating call him a friend or a boyfriend, he notices. With my method, you haven’t relegated him to the friend-zone, but neither have you made any assumptions about the relationship.
Second, this technique immediately takes the focus off your relationship and naturally sparks a conversation. Your friend and the guy now have a comfortable jumping off point for relaxed conversation. If he’s an artist, like in the example above, she might ask, “Oh really? What kind of art?”
Making other people feel comfortable in social situations is a special kind of social skill. It’s the kind of social skill that operates invisibly in the background. Yet others are left with positive feelings whenever you are around to facilitate these smooth interactions.
Here’s the third benefit of using this method. You’ve complimented him at a time when he’s sure to catch it.
This is an opportunity to let him know you’ve been paying attention. Make the most of it by bragging on him a bit, shining a spotlight on one of his strengths or interesting characteristics.
In fact, this method works really well for regular relationships, too. Using it, you can practice making people feel good about themselves any time you have to make an introduction.
Show them that you admire them, that you’ve noticed what they’re interested in. Or mention their talents and other interesting facts that set them apart.
I strongly encourage you to start introducing people in this way. Build the habit now. Then, it will feel natural and automatic when it really counts.