Thoughts that make you stronger

Thoughts that make you strongerYou can transform your life by adopting short catchphrases you repeat to yourself often.

Big companies use this technique on you all the time. Some business people call them “micro-scripts,” but you will better recognize them with a few examples. They are short phrases that are easy to remember. They are designed to influence your thoughts about a certain company or brand. Here are some examples:

“Like a rock.” – Chevy

“1,000 songs in your pocket” – Apple iPod’s original catchphrase

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” – The Las Vegas tourism promotional campaign

“Enterprise picks you up.” – The slogan for a rental car company

“Diamonds are forever.” – A complete game changer for the diamond industry

At other times, micro scripts are used to change people’s opinions or gather support. Here are some examples you may recognize:

“If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit.” – From the O.J. Simpson defense attorneys

“Guns don’t kill people, people do.” – People who don’t like gun control

“Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.” – A public campaign to reduce drunk-driving fatalities

These short catchphrases are powerful because they are easy to remember. They stick in your thoughts and influence your mind. What if you could harness that same ability to influence your mind by designing your own short phrases?

You can use short catchphrases to purposefully transform your thinking, cope with stressful situations, or build resilience and powerful belief systems. Essentially, we’re talking about heuristics. Heuristics are mental shortcuts. Heuristics takes a complex idea and distills it into a simple reminder that acts as a shortcut to mentally pull up a larger, more complex set of ideas.

Here are a few ways I recommend you use catchphrases in your personal life if you are a person who is currently dating or working on improving a relationship.

Come up with at least one phrase that will help you cope with stress.

For me, all it takes is a reminder of a book I read about the training Navy SEALs go through. My catchphrase is: “It’s okay to be stretched beyond your old limits once in a while.” That simple phrase is a heuristic that activates a strong coping mindset for me.

Your catchphrase will need to be unique to your personal experiences. What people or situations would be helpful to you in reducing psychological stress when facing hardship?

Come up with one phrase that will keep you grounded even though you are pursuing important relationship goals.

For me, this one is very simple. The phrase “Be here now,” echoes through my mind whenever I realize I need to be a little less fused with a particular goal. Diffusing from a goal means you release the internal mental demand that you achieve the goal. It means you accept reality as you find it at this present moment, even if things seem to be going in a bad direction.

“Be here now,” does wonders to reduce stress and improve my quality of life. It allows me to continue working on goals without becoming emotionally overwhelmed by the mental strain of pursuing a goal.

Design one phrase to make you feel bold and act courageously.

You need this one if you are going to go after the kind of man you really admire. It’s not always easy to pursue someone when you like that person so much you are afraid to fail. It’s easier to get into relationships with people who are just “okay” to protect your emotions from potential heartache if things don’t go well. Obviously, I do not recommend you settle in this way.

You can adopt a short catchphrase that will bolster your confidence just before you need to make a move. It could go something like, “Love is worth it,” or “Fear is okay, as long as I don’t let it control me.” Come up with a phrase that inspires you toward bold action.

Design a phrase to spark your joy and happiness

Those of you who have studied my material probably saw this one coming. Happiness is a virtue worth developing in yourself. It also strongly attracts quality men.

Thoughts that make you strongerCome up with a short catchphrase you can repeat to yourself often. It needs to be a mental shortcut to some idea, memory, or source of inspiration that sparks thoughts and feelings of joy. Mine is, “Let life flow through you.” To me, this is a joyful idea. It reminds me to embrace both the small and the big opportunities for living life to the fullest.

Once you have designed your catchphrases, commit them to memory. Your catchphrases should be memorable from the start, but you will want to write them down and rehearse them at least once per day until they start popping into your mind automatically as events unfold.

An easy way to remember to rehearse your catchphrase is to link it to some daily activity you already have a habit of pursuing. For example, you could write your phrases on a sticky note and put that note on top of your toothbrush. Before you brush your teeth, read the phrases to implant them in your memory.

Our experience of life is dominated by our thoughts and mental interpretations of events. Small changes in your habits of thought can have profound and life-changing effects. This is because a change in your habitual pattern of thought causes repeated ripple effects.

One positive shift in your mood state can impact many other unrelated events for the rest of the day. Several positive mood shifts each day can have a larger impact that builds over the months and years as you practice deliberate adoption of key phrases that help you to thrive.


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55 thoughts on “Thoughts that make you stronger

  1. Lana said:

    Thank you James. I have a couple of my own phrases, that I try to use sometimes:
    “You are not alone’ – when I feel very lonely and sad.

    “What doesn’t break us, makes us stronger” – this one helps me to overcome my daily struggle, like just to get to work on public transportation and get through the long day at work.

  2. julie DeStefano said:

    James, you are wonderful. My catch phrase for losing 10 lbs. is “Just eat for sustinense”, Before I know it, I have an appetite for veggies and have lost 10 lbs.

  3. Sue said:

    I’ve decided to use phrases like ‘step out of your box’ and ‘keep your eye on the prize’ and my current love and I share this one; ‘the best is yet to come’. These have provided me with so much more than I can say. Of course, I always find time to pray, which helps with everything!

    • James Bauer said:

      Those are great, Sue! Thanks for sharing.

  4. Amanda said:


    My name is Amanda, and I am visiting this blog for the first time. I am familiar with similar blogs, about relationships, communication between men and women and how to create a healthy and lasting relationship free of anger and full of trust and support.

    These are some great examples of how to shift your mood. Sometimes it’s not always easy especially if we are really feeling it, to shift from a feeling and feelings influence mood.

    Often times I use music to shift my focus….when I go running I throw on something passionate and energizing and then when I want to go for a more mellow mood I put on something more soft and ambient. Sometimes even songs don’t get me untucks from my moods though and so finding new ways to do it is comforting.

    • James Bauer said:

      Good thoughts, Amanda. Thanks for sharing what (at least sometimes) works well for you.


  5. June said:

    Hi James
    I love reading your articles. They have given me a new perspective on loving myself and learning to love myself first in my relationship. I don’t always remember to do that as I am a giver by nature. Your articles always inspire me and I truly have learnt a lot.
    I’m currently in a relationship with a good man but one that is so used to having women do all the work that he never thinks to do something special for the woman in his life…like making an effort to call or surprising me with flowers once in a while. He is a good man at heart though. I am trying hard not to let this bother me. Do you have any advise on how to deal with this.
    thanks James….JD

    • James Bauer said:

      Hey June. I think you’ll find my special report on shaping a man’s behavior to be useful in this situation. You can see what it’s about by clicking here.


  6. Me (May) said:

    My favorite catchphrase is, “I do the difficult tasks right away, the impossible ones may take some time.”
    And, it’s got the way my name is pronounced in it. Thanks James

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