Which kind of makes sense. Who doesn’t want to be happier?
Here’s some of what we’ve figured out so far. Happiness isn’t getting everything you want all the time. It’s not even having all your needs met, or never feeling sad.
Instead, happiness has more to do with peace of mind. [i]
Which also makes sense. It’s not possible to be giddy every second of every day. (Besides, how annoying are the people who act like they are?)
Happiness can’t be THAT.
Peace of mind, on the other hand, is possible. Even on a rough day, peace of mind will keep you calm, anchored, and feeling secure.
Think about how epic that would be in your relationship. If you’re happy in your relationship, it means you are at peace in the relationship and you feel content.
You can have a fight…and relax afterward because you know it doesn’t mean he stopped loving you. You don’t have to get everything right all the time to keep him committed. It takes a ton of pressure off, and that makes it easier to actually connect.
And in just 120 seconds, you can be happier.
So, what is this two-minute trick that boosts happiness, and how can you use it to make your relationship better?
Shawn Achor is the author of The Happiness Advantage.[ii] He recommends a simple exercise you can do while brushing your teeth. But really, you can do it any time. After all, it only takes two minutes.
Here’s what you do. Think of three things that made you happy today. Repeat every day.
The only rule is they have to be three NEW things. You can’t use any of the same things you’ve used before. And no cheating. Putting a new spin on something you used yesterday won’t work.
Why It Works:
By focusing on new things each day, you’ll actually train your brain to look for the good stuff. That means you’ll appreciate all of life’s little pleasures way more.
And they don’t have to be big things. For example, one of mine for today is that a friend showed me something funny on youtube.com.
And another was that my plants look healthy right now where they sit happily growing in the sunshine of my office window.
If you want to point this beam of happiness at your relationship, you absolutely can. You will be happier AND you’ll feel closer to your man.
Making this slight adjustment is easy. Just make sure at least one of the things on your list each day is about HIM.
Did he say something sweet? Stop by your office just to say hi? Take you to that movie he knew you wanted to see? Any of those would be perfect.
Like I said, it doesn’t matter when you do this. Do it while you’re brushing your teeth, like Achor suggests. Or while you’re walking the dog. Or cooking dinner. Or driving to work.
Pause long enough to think of three things that brightened your day. Make one of them about your guy. That’s it.
It’s a two-minute boost to your overall happiness that will make a real difference in how you feel and how you connect with your partner.
[i] Allan, Patrick. “What Research Says Happiness Really Is.” Lifehacker. Gawker Media, 14 Sept. 2015. Web. 04 Aug. 2016.
[ii] Achor, Shawn. The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work. New York: Broadway, 2010