You’re Two Minutes Away from Being Happier Right Now

how to be happyYou’ve probably noticed that happiness is a buzz word lately. There are all kinds of happiness studies going on. It’s suddenly the ‘it thing’ to talk about.

Which kind of makes sense. Who doesn’t want to be happier?

Here’s some of what we’ve figured out so far. Happiness isn’t getting everything you want all the time. It’s not even having all your needs met, or never feeling sad.

Instead, happiness has more to do with peace of mind. [i]

Which also makes sense. It’s not possible to be giddy every second of every day. (Besides, how annoying are the people who act like they are?)

Happiness can’t be THAT.

Peace of mind, on the other hand, is possible. Even on a rough day, peace of mind will keep you calm, anchored, and feeling secure.

Think about how epic that would be in your relationship. If you’re happy in your relationship, it means you are at peace in the relationship and you feel content.

You can have a fight…and relax afterward because you know it doesn’t mean he stopped loving you. You don’t have to get everything right all the time to keep him committed. It takes a ton of pressure off, and that makes it easier to actually connect.

And in just 120 seconds, you can be happier.

So, what is this two-minute trick that boosts happiness, and how can you use it to make your relationship better?

Shawn Achor is the author of The Happiness Advantage.[ii] He recommends a simple exercise you can do while brushing your teeth. But really, you can do it any time. After all, it only takes two minutes.

Here’s what you do. Think of three things that made you happy today. Repeat every day.

The only rule is they have to be three NEW things. You can’t use any of the same things you’ve used before. And no cheating. Putting a new spin on something you used yesterday won’t work.

Why It Works:

By focusing on new things each day, you’ll actually train your brain to look for the good stuff. That means you’ll appreciate all of life’s little pleasures way more.

And they don’t have to be big things. For example, one of mine for today is that a friend showed me something funny on youtube.com.

And another was that my plants look healthy right now where they sit happily growing in the sunshine of my office window.

If you want to point this beam of happiness at your relationship, you absolutely can. You will be happier AND you’ll feel closer to your man.

Making this slight adjustment is easy. Just make sure at least one of the things on your list each day is about HIM.

Did he say something sweet? Stop by your office just to say hi? Take you to that movie he knew you wanted to see? Any of those would be perfect.

Like I said, it doesn’t matter when you do this. Do it while you’re brushing your teeth, like Achor suggests. Or while you’re walking the dog. Or cooking dinner. Or driving to work.

how to be happyPause long enough to think of three things that brightened your day. Make one of them about your guy. That’s it.

It’s a two-minute boost to your overall happiness that will make a real difference in how you feel and how you connect with your partner.

[i] Allan, Patrick. “What Research Says Happiness Really Is.” Lifehacker. Gawker Media, 14 Sept. 2015. Web. 04 Aug. 2016.

[ii] Achor, Shawn. The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work. New York: Broadway, 2010


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4 thoughts on “You’re Two Minutes Away from Being Happier Right Now

  1. Joyce Hardman said:

    I’m going to share this thought with my nephew. He just reached 90 days clean & sober. I told him to look in the mirror everyday. Smile, and tell that guy looking back, “I like you, you’re a good man.”
    Not that the traditional 12 step programs don’t work. It just seems to me, if one is going to tell themself and everyone around them on a daily basis, “I’m an addict.” Which does have a negative connotation. They should also remind themself that they have many attributes. That it’s good to be sober happy and to look for the little things that create happiness.
    This blog is #1 on my list for today. Thanks James!

    • James Bauer said:

      That’s an interesting application of the idea. I hope your nephew receives this well.

    • Lorna (LaLa) said:

      Hi again, Joyce. It seems I am destined to respond to you again today. Actually on two counts, this time. 1) I have used this happiness “trick” to get me through the very darkest days of my life, when going through my divorce, when I was so depressed I was feeling suicidal and could see no future. I actually kept a “Things to be Grateful For” Journal, and every night I would write down at least three things for which I was grateful that day. Sometimes it was hard, but gradually, it helped me stay focused. Now I rarely feel depressed, thank goodness – it is not something you would wish on your worst enemy.
      2. I have been involved romantically with a man for almost five years who has a massive drink problem. I believe now that it probably stems from him having ADHD – being a square peg in a round hole – which has caused him to have huge problems throughout his life-time with impulsivity, over-spending, addictions and troubled relationships. He is now 64. I have read whatever I can get my hands on regarding addiction to alcohol and mental health issues. People who suffer from addiction to alcohol or drugs usually have underlying mental health issues of one sort or another, and use the alcohol to self-medicate. I am hoping to train as a counsellor to take calls on the helpline for friends and family. Yes, you are right about your nephew. He MUST stay positive, and looking yourself in the eyes every morning and telling yourself that there is a lot of good in there is a very good start. It has been proven that the traditional approach to alcoholism is not very effective. As you say, reinforcing the negative by telling yourself and everyone else in the meeting every day that you are an alcoholic, is not a good idea. In fact, the word “alcoholic” is now forbidden in some treatment programmes. It is far more empowering to tell yourself that you are (or were) drinking more alcohol than is good for you, and that you wanted to, and you now intend to not do that any longer. It is important to change your relationship with the alcohol – seeing it for the poison to your body that it is, and a “false friend”. Many “alcoholics” treat it as a friend, because it gives them instant relief. It is interesting that, although I never normally drink and have no inclination to do so whatsoever, when I was in the depths of depression, alcohol was the thing that afforded me some comfort – so I do understand. Yes, it does give comfort in the short term, but unfortunately, it becomes addictive, and then slowly destroys your body. I wish your nephew a very happy future. He is very lucky, indeed, to have such a caring Aunt. A true Earth Angel. That will prove to be of great benefit to him. These people need someone in their corner, just loving them as they are, and supportng them – not criticizing. Best of luck. Lorna x

  2. Lola said:

    Thank you so much for sharing your information to help us. Thai about the three happy things made me feel
    Better as soon as I did it the first time. Let’s you remember your life is actually a pretty good one after all!! Better outlook on our life! 😊👍

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