Which dating strategy appeals most to you?
- Get lots of male attention by learning exactly what to do to make men notice you and want you.
- Find your future husband by leading with your most authentic, vulnerable self.
Every woman needs a different strategy at different times in her life.
When she’s just starting out dating, she’s more interested in finding out what makes men tick and what men in general prefer.
As she gets older, she’s less interested in attracting a lot of men and more interested in attracting that one RIGHT man.
It turns out that you need different strategies depending on your dating goals.
So if the strategy you’re using isn’t working for you, try something different. Here are your options.
Dating Strategy #1:
The Cool Girl Every Man Wants
If what you’re looking for is confidence and a rock-solid belief in your own attractiveness, then this is a good strategy for you.
It feels great when you’re able to turn heads and get asked out any time you want.
The way this strategy works is by shaping your first impressions to reflect the kind of female most men find attractive. Fun, feminine, independent and flirty.
But men have two different “attraction circuits.”
One circuit is built into their biology. Men are primed to respond to features like shiny hair, an hourglass figure, and signs of fertility and health. So if you want to attract MOST men, this is the attraction circuit you want to focus on.
Men also have another attraction circuit. This is their own unique personalized “love map.”
Every single man has a different set of traits he finds irresistibly attractive in a woman. Often, he’s not even conscious of why he’s attracted to those traits. His guy friends look at who he chooses as a girlfriend and shake their heads; they don’t get it, either.
A man’s love map is idiosyncratic and inexplicable, but it creates an attraction that’s MUCH more powerful than his biological circuitry.
He can appreciate a beautiful woman, but he can’t resist a woman who triggers his subconscious imprinting.
That’s where Dating Strategy #2 comes in…
Dating Strategy #2:
Dare to Be Your Authentic, Vulnerable Self
Over time, my older clients often find that they’re not as interested in being the kind of woman men want anymore. They become more interested in finding someone who loves them just as they are.
That’s when your dating strategy needs to shift.
Instead of trying to be attractive to the largest possible number of men, you need to focus on filtering men. You don’t want just any guy attracted to you. You want the RIGHT guy to be attracted to you … and one is all it takes!
The right guy won’t find you appealing because you’re the embodiment of what every man is supposed to want. He’ll find you appealing because you fit his love map. The traits that make you unique are exactly the traits that resonate with him on a deep level.
But here’s the catch:
You have no idea WHICH traits he finds irresistible.
No wonder singles prefer to focus on what men in general find attractive. We can make a good guess about what most men will find attractive. We have no IDEA what individual men find attractive.
So if you choose this dating strategy, you’re going to have to treat it like a gamble. You won’t win every time. If you win just 10% of the time, you’re doing really well.
And that’s the attitude you need to take in this dating strategy.
It’s fine if 90% of the guys you meet aren’t attracted to you. You know you’re unique, and it takes a special man to appreciate you.
Think of it like this:
It’s as if all the women around you are trying to be vanilla or chocolate ice cream, while you’re showing up as cilantro lime swirl.
What you want to do is find the one man who realizes that cilantro lime swirl is the flavor he’s been searching for all his life.
But… you can’t find him if you disguise yourself as vanilla.
So celebrate your unique flavor. Don’t hide it. Lead with your authentic, vulnerable self. Most men will be unable to appreciate what you have to offer as a partner, but the man who can could end up being your life partner.
Let me know in the comments:
Would you be willing to give up being attractive to most men…
In favor of being irresistibly attractive to the one right man?