3 Ways to Invite Love to Chase You

3 Ways to Invite Love to Chase YouThere are two kinds of singles:

Those who wait for Prince Charming to land in their laps…

And those who jump on a white stallion and gallop off to find him.

Because you’re reading this right now, you might very well fit into that second category!

We’re raised to believe that you can’t get what you want until you go after it. You should set a goal and take concrete action steps in the direction of your dreams.

But love is a funny thing. You can’t “achieve love” in the same way as you can achieve other goals.

Love is slippery. We think we’ll find it one place, then it’s not there. It often pops up in the most unlikely of places at the most inconvenient times.

No wonder love is so frustrating. We’re used to being in control of every aspect of our lives. It feels like we should be able to make love happen by sheer willpower. But love continues to elude us, like a wild animal that doesn’t want to be trapped.

Perhaps a better approach is not to treat love like a goal to be achieved…

But rather as a mystery to respect and appreciate.

Accept that love is a much bigger force than you could ever understand or hope to control, and you may just find it appears when you least expect it.

The 21st century is not an age of mysteries. We believe in the power of science to explain most things. We trust in reason and causality.

But romance often seems unpredictable, as evidenced by stories like these:

Once upon a time, a woman went to a conference and saw a man staring at her across a room. He wouldn’t have even been there had his friends not dragged him out. They met, talked until dawn, and fell in love. Today they’re happily married with two children.

Once upon a time, a woman joined a friend at a baseball game. Baseball wasn’t even her thing. She didn’t know why she’d agreed to go that night, but she’s so glad she did. She met her future husband at the game. They’ve been married 12 years and counting.

So many love stories involve unlikely events such as these.

Wild, crazy synchronicities. Meeting each other against all odds.

That’s the essence of romance. Love stories captivate us most when they’re unexpected.

So why shouldn’t love come to you in the same way?

Why shouldn’t love land in your lap when you least expect it?

Maybe love isn’t something you have to hunt down. Maybe there’s a mysterious force—call it Cupid or St. Valentine or even destiny if you like—working on your behalf, summonsing the perfect conditions for you to meet the one who’s also been waiting for you.

Like this idea? Want to know more?

Then try these 3 tips for letting love take the driver’s seat.

  1. Accept that love’s timeline may be different from yours.

When you want something, you want it NOW.

Not next month. Certainly not next year.

But that sense of urgency scares love off.

It’s not great for you, either. You feel anxious when you think you’re not going to achieve your goal by the timeline you’ve set for yourself.

The alternative to urgency is having a bit of faith.

Believe that it will happen, and trust that the timing will be more perfect than anything you could have devised yourself.

  1. Release control and trust in the unseen forces at work.

Throughout history, humans have always believed that lovers get a helping hand from destiny. If two people are fated to fall in love, then events will conspire on their behalf to push them together.

That idea can sound silly these days.

When you’re single, you can feel very much as if you’re on your own. No one else is going to help you meet Mr. Right. Maybe you don’t even believe in one Mr. Right, but many Mr. Good Enoughs.

But without a belief in mysterious forces at work, you may not have the faith to listen to your gut or say yes to something just because a quiet voice deep inside urges you to.

  1. Stop resisting.

The more time you spend fighting the things you don’t like about your life—such as the lack of suitable men, or the difficulty of online dating, or the injustice of still being single—the more love stays away.

Love sneaks up to surprise those who are willing to see what is possible, not what is impossible.

So allow for the unexpected. Don’t let your preconceived notions keep you in a box. Love is much bigger than any of us can understand. Give it space to work its magic.

And let me know in the comments about a time when love surprised you.

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14 thoughts on “3 Ways to Invite Love to Chase You

  1. Robin Glover said:

    I’m 64 years old. Most likely a bit older than most of the people who read this blog (I’m so old I’m not even sure if it’s called a blog! 😅).
    I was constantly searching for love. I was sure something was wrong with me because I could never find it. I was always falling for the wrong man. I found physical and emotional abusers. If I loved them they didn’t love me. And if they loved me I didn’t love them. Looking back now, I know I stunk of desperation. And I was looking so hard that I ignored red flags and saw things in men that weren’t really there. I didn’t marry until I was 33 years old. I stayed in a bad marriage longer than I should have —-17 years —- and I’ve been divorced for going on 14 years. It took me until I was 63 years old to find the man I’ve been searching for all of my life and he just asked me to marry him this past Christmas.
    Looking back now, I wish I had just relaxed and enjoyed my footloose and fancy free 20’s, instead of struggling so hard to find love and marriage. And I didn’t learn anything from my disastrous marriage. I laid low for more than 10 years, afraid of getting burned again, then fell into the same pattern of desperation, even more fearful than before because I believed I was too old and it was too late for me to ever find love.
    Then I discovered this blog. The wise words of James Bauer have been a godsend for me. I finally learned to play it smarter, relaxed and turned it over to God. And guess what! Love found me!
    I know this message is long and most people won’t have the patience to read all the way through it. It I hope enough people read this last —-
    Be patient. Let go of the desperation. Read this blog. Take the free advice that is given here and maybe even buy a lesson or two. And maybe you’ll find the man you’ve been looking for all of your life. And chances are much better, thanks to the advice given here, you won’t blow it.
    Best of luck.

    • James Bauer said:

      I read to the end, Robin, and it made my day! Thank you for taking the time to write in about your courageous journey. I’m happy to hear that these messages have been uplifting and helpful for you.


  2. Jennifer said:

    Fell in love with someone I ran into at our high school reunion. We never spoke in high school.
    He was traveling between 2 provinces and just happened to be here when a friend told him about the reunion.
    I hadn’t been out in ages but I made myself go that night.
    There was instant chemistry. That was two and a half years ago and we are still together.
    I believe in fate, that love finds you when you aren’t looking for it.

  3. Von said:

    Hi James,
    I just wanted to say that I have been reading your blogs for the last 2 years and appreciate all of the tips that you have provided me over these years. I normally don’t leave a reply or comment on any thing I read from any sites (sorry not even yours).until today.. I believe what you have said because it has happened to me twice. Love found me. Call it destiny, call it fate, call it spiritual intervention. For me it was God who knew the time was right when I least expected to find love on my doorstep. And in both times I was not seeking to find love but placing it in His hands not mine. As you said, it does happen when you least expect it to and the most important thing I found for me was that I already had so much love in my own heart before I got the opportunity to share it with someone special. I hope that others will heed your words. Don’t go chasing love. Pass it over, find love in your own heart and spread it to others, say a prayer (or 2….), then leave it be. It will come to find you when the timing is right and you least expect it.💖

    • James Bauer said:

      Von, I feel privileged that you broke your silence to participate here on my blog. And I feel privileged to have someone like you as a reader. Thank you for encouraging others with your own story of success through patient openness to the unfolding of life.

  4. Stephanie said:

    I have a teenage son that lives with a persistent mental illness. I thought no man would ever want to date someone with kids like mine. We started going to the flea market to sell their old clothes & he fell in love with flea marketing. It was the only thing that made him smile back then. Every Saturday morning, he would wake me up at 2 Am to go to the flea market. Little did I know that sitting in a gravel parking lot on a cold January morning would lead to the love of my life. Even though I was in sweats with my hair in a ponytail & no makeup on, he asked me for my number anyway. That was 5 years ago. We aren’t married but are very much in love. We even hold hands at night watching tv in bed. And thanks to articles like these, I have been able to learn how to sustain a healthy relationship after a long term abusive one. Thank you for all that you do.

    • James Bauer said:

      That’s a neat story, Stephanie. Several people on my staff commented on what a sweet story you shared in this comment. It’s rather romantic because of the simple beauty we find within it. Sometimes that’s the best kind of story.

      • Stephanie said:

        Thank you. I wanted to tell it to give other women hope that love can be found in the most unusual & unexpected places. I wish all women could have a sweet story & love like I have at some point in there lifetime, even if it is only for a moment in time.

  5. Carol said:

    I was very happily married for 30 years and my husband passed away. A year later, friends dragged me to a dance. I didn’t want to go and I certainly didn’t want to dance with any men. I just didn’t think I was ready.
    I was on the dance floor, dancing a fast dance with a girlfriend, when I looked up and HE was staring at me. Our eyes held for about 15 seconds. A couple of songs later, he came over and we started talking. Five hours of talking later, he went home. We never stopped talking and now we’ve been together and happily in love for the last seven years…and I never dreamed I would ever find anyone I loved as much as my husband. I was wrong – I found love twice!!

  6. maribel linares said:

    El amor viene de adentro es cuando se conecta corazon y mente y hay que prepararse para poder recibirlo.
    Te estoy leyendo siempre en tu blog y eso me esta ayudando ha saber la manera de como llega el amor.
    He conocido una persona por el internet y siento que es una buena persona. Pero me dijo que cuando nos vieramos en la primera cita que me pusiera linda para amarnos apasionadamente porque ya no teniamos edad para estar perdiendo tiempo y que teniamos que vivir la vida y eso ha hecho ruido en mi cabeza

    Love comes from within is when you connect heart and mind and you have to prepare to receive it.
    I am always reading you on your blog and that is helping me to know the way love arrives.
    I have met a person on the internet and I feel that he is a good person. But he told me that when we saw each other on the first date that it would make me beautiful to love ourselves passionately because we were no longer young enough to be wasting time and that we had to live life and that made a noise in my head

  7. Tammy said:

    So far I have been pleased with what I have read. I am just starting a new relationship and I am praying it is a good one! I have been married and divorced twice! I know they say the third time is a charm! I am a bit scared and a bit untrusting for I have had my heart broken too much!! I am trying very hard on my part to be the best I can be…as a women, a partner in this life physically, mentally, spiritually! I want my man to be the same…prayers all please 😁💜😉

    • James Bauer said:

      Thanks for sharing a bit of your journey with us, Tammy. I’m glad to see the way you are honest with yourself about your fears, while also strong enough to step past them toward the things you want and deserve in a lasting relationship.

  8. Anya Setterfield said:

    Really good grounding advice

  9. Robert sweet said:

    After being out of high school for almost 30 years. Someone who I had a crush on, contacted me and disclosed his crush on me. I never knew he felt that way towards me. I was pleasantly surprised.

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