James Dean in a white t-shirt and leather jacket with his hair combed back sloppily. He has a look of casual indifference. There’s a cigarette dangling from his lip.
He’s a rebel. You can tell by looking at him. And because he’s a rebel…women find him kind of sexy.
But what you probably don’t know is that men are feel attracted to rebels too.
If that’s news to you, you’re not alone. According to a 2015 study[i], most women share the same misconception about what men want.
Even though women like the idea of dating a rebel, they think guys are on the prowl for conformists.
The truth is the average guy isn’t looking for a cookie-cutter girl. He wants someone who isn’t afraid to stand out.
But before you run to your closet and start tearing rips in all your jeans, consider what it is that makes rebellious guys attractive. Is it just the fact that they refuse to fit in, or is it something more?
Sure, there’s an air of excitement around the idea of dating a bad boy. But unless you’re a glutton for punishment, you don’t want to date an actual jerk. You just want to date someone who isn’t like every other boring clone out there.
Said another way, you want to date someone who is interesting and different and unique.
Guys want that, too.
But there’s a right way and a wrong way to play the part of a rebel. So, (you guessed it) I have some tips.
First, the obligatory advice. Be yourself. Don’t hide the things that make you different. (Cue the after school special music.)
That’s the stuff you already know. It’s not earth-shattering. You’ve heard it all your life.
What you want to know is HOW to be a rebel.
That’s a great question. And I’d love to give you three steps to becoming the perfect rebel girl, but I can’t. If I tried to, you’d only end up conforming to my image of a rebel!
Besides, that strategy would completely miss the point. Guys don’t like rebellious girls because of a specific look, style, posture, or attitude. Rebels are sexy for two simple reasons.
They’re powerful, and they’re a bit of a risk.
Swimming against the current in an ocean of people who go with the flow is a bold move. It’s the ultimate power play. People are drawn to that kind of strength.
On top of that, guys like risk.
Why do you think so many of them want motorcycles? Or watch contact sports? Or get into weekend warrior competitions of all kinds?
Risk is fun. It’s exciting. It’s even addictive.
A woman who sometimes breaks the rules is a risk. He won’t know what to expect from you, and that will make you even more attractive.
As for what that looks like FOR YOU, that’s something you’ll have to decide. It could be calling in sick one day to play hooky with him. It might be letting your nerd-side show without apology. It could be as simple as a daring dress or as complex as sharing your political views.
Just make sure he knows you’re an individual, proud of who you are and willing to be yourself even when it’s risky.
That’s the essence of being a rebel, and it’s extremely attractive.
[i] Hornsey, M. J., R. Wellauer, J. C. Mcintyre, and F. K. Barlow. “A Critical Test of the Assumption That Men Prefer Conformist Women and Women Prefer Nonconformist Men.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 41.6 (2015): 755-68. Web.