Silly question, I know. That’s like asking if you want a million dollars. Or if you want frizz-free hair, no matter the weather.
Yes, yes, and HOLY COW, YES.
Well, you’re in luck. I can tell you how to instantly be more attractive right now.
Research confirms that folks who are altruistic generally have more success in the dating arena. (Selfless people even have more sex, according to the study.)[i] Researchers concluded this is because selflessness makes you more attractive.
But there’s a problem. “Be selfless” is lame advice.
It’s lame because it sounds like something your kindergarten teacher would say when you reach past the kid in front of you for a juice box. Plus, it’s just way too vague to mean anything.
Seriously, what does it look like to “be selfless”? How do you pull that off?
I’m glad you asked. It just so happens that I have four suggestions.[ii] These are little things you can weave into your everyday routine with minimal effort.
Start practicing these selfless behaviors today to instantly become more attractive to every guy you meet.
1. Learning how to be attractive requires a sense of inquiry. Ask a lot of questions.
Meaningful questions show that you’re genuinely invested in others. They help you empathize, and they make people feel important when they talk to you.
While questions like, “How are you?” work okay, I recommend pushing past that low-hanging fruit. Ask questions that are just a little more personal, but still not invasive.
For example, if you know Jim ran a 5K over the weekend, ask how the race went. If Dan’s into movies, ask about the last really good flick he saw.
Show yourself to be someone who actually cares about what other people have to say.
2. Learning how to be attractive requires gratitude. Say thank you. Every single time you can.
I know, I know. We’re back to advice your kindergarten teacher would give. But this one really is powerful.
Saying thank you does two things. First, it’s an expression of gratitude. That, in and of itself, is selfless.
But saying thank you does a lot more. It helps YOU hear how often you have opportunities to be grateful.
That will shape your mood, your interactions, and your entire approach to dating and relationship.
3. Learning how to be attractive means understanding compassion. Do one small act of kindness for a stranger every day.
Small acts of kindness that can’t be paid back are kind of amazing. They brighten your day, and they make a big difference for others.
And I really am talking about SMALL stuff. You don’t have to donate your paycheck to an orphanage.
Instead, hold the door for someone whose arms are full. Or let the guy behind you with one measly item checkout before you. Or even just smile and say hi to someone you pass on the street.
Even if a hot guy isn’t watching, this habit will put you into a selfless frame of mind and make you more attractive when it counts.
4. Learning how to be attractive requires you to be nice to yourself, too.
Ready for a paradox? Being nice to yourself makes it easier to be selfless toward others.
When you’re nice to yourself, you won’t feel the need to go fishing for compliments. You become your own source of validation, and that makes you far more available to others.
It may seem to fly in the face of the idea of being selfless, but self-care is nothing short of essential. You can only love others as much as you love yourself.
Okay, let’s bring this all back home.
While none of these techniques are directly related to dating, all of them will make your love life better.
Cultivating selflessness will make you a more attractive person to literally everyone. And you don’t even have to wax anything or buy a super-expensive beautifying cream.
Start practicing a little selflessness every day. I promise, the kind of guys you want to attract will notice!
[i] Arnocky, Steven, Tina Piché, Graham Albert, Danielle Ouellette, and Pat Barclay. “Altruism Predicts Mating Success in Humans.” British Journal of Psychology (2016): n. pag. Web. 1 Dec. 2016.
[ii] Moreau, Elise. “5 Great Ways to Practice Selflessness.” Yogi Surprise. N.p., 27 May 2016. Web. 01 Dec. 2016.