how to show love without smotheringThe real power of love…well, if you’ve ever experienced it, I don’t need to explain. Inside, it can feel like you have discovered a well of eternal joy.

Giving expression to that love can feel like the purpose of your life. You feel a powerful desire to actively love. It’s selfless and pure.

But how do you express love of this intensity without giving him relationship vertigo? No matter how powerful the feeling inside, you can never fully express it in the pure form you find within.

I saw this quote on Pinterest and it made me think of some of my relationship coaching clients:

“I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering, “I love you,” repeatedly while they struggle to break free.”

How can you express your passion without overwhelming your man or causing him to question your sanity?

Here are a few ideas I’ve picked up from various people over the years. There are many more, but these are a few I like in particular.

Make every kiss count. The key here is quality not quantity. Make sure the kisses you exchange are memorable and meaningful.

You can express deep affection by letting a kiss linger longer. The key is slowing down at the end of the kiss when you are parting. It’s the opposite of the quick peck on the cheek with no eye contact as you rush out the door for an appointment.

Alternatively, kiss him again right after you’ve just finished kissing. A smile right after a kiss sends a really warm message too.

Mind your posture. When you’re trying to make a good impression, you stand tall and hold a good posture. As we get comfortable with someone, we tend to slouch without realizing it. Not only does this make us look less attractive, it sends a subtle message of decreased interest. Be relaxed, but stand tall.

While spontaneous touching and purposefully standing inside his personal space can be endearing, those kinds of expressions of love can also be a bit overwhelming. Instead, focus on things like really deep listening and giving very meaningful gifts out of the blue. These are not overwhelming gestures and they are universally well accepted (even from friends).

There’s a tendency for us to be so overwhelmed with our own feelings of love that our listening skills actually decline in the presence of someone we are intensely interested in. Channel that powerful love toward hearing the unspoken needs, desires, wishes, and hopes hidden in the context of what he actually says.

You want him to be able to taste your love, feel it, and be inspired by it. I want that to happen to, but you have to remember much of the feeling you have inside gets lost in translation.

how to show love without smotheringIn addition to the three tips I gave you above, always remember the powerful impact of the respect principle. Men are deeply impacted by the subtle indications of respect they sense in your mutual interactions.

P.S. If you have your own favorite ways to show affection without smothering, share them in the comments below for everyone’s benefit.

James

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