The Perfect Date for Your Long Term Relationship

Dating In A Long Term RelationshipAre your dates beginning to feel a little stale and predictable?

It happens. Dinner and a movie is exciting the first time you share it with someone new, but it can become ho-hum after a while.

So what do you do to inject some energy and passion into your dates? I recommend you make a date out of the process of searching for “the perfect date.” Let me explain.

Here’s how you do it.

Start with a conversation. You and your partner go out to dinner with one item on the agenda. You’re going to engineer the most exciting, unforgettable date you can imagine.

And I mean that. Let your imagination run wild. This is a brainstorming conversation. No idea is too outlandish. Don’t worry about being realistic or sticking to a budget. If your perfect date would include a flight to Paris, that goes on the list. Silly things are okay, too. Still kind of fond of those Friday nights in middle school you spent at the roller skating rink? Put that on the list!

Don’t be shy during the brainstorming session, and don’t worry about sounding selfish. Even if there are things you want to do that you know your partner hates, list them. Later on the two of you can work together to find creative compromises. The goal during this first conversation is to get it all out there.

This is important because one of the things that causes stale dates is a narrow range of shared interests. We tend to think of dates as all or nothing ventures. He likes to go to NASCAR races, but you hate the noise. You like elegant restaurants, but he feels out of place. There’s no way to mix the two, so you default to something you can both enjoy, like dinner and a movie. Sure, it’s still fun, but it’s far from either person’s ideal date.

But there are a few secrets to getting over that hump. Here’s the first. Sometimes it can be fun to do something the other person enjoys just because they enjoy it, even if you don’t. That’s why it’s important to have this brainstorming conversation. It gives you both an opportunity to see the other person’s eyes light up as you discuss ideas. Especially the unrealistic ones.

My second secret for constructing the perfect date is obvious when you think about it, but a lot of couples miss it. You can do some things in small doses. Why not pair an activity he likes with something you’d enjoy, doing both on the same date? It might require a change of clothes half way through the night, but that will only make it more fun.

Which leads to my third secret. Get creative. Maybe the ideal dinner date would include a flight to Paris. Is there some other destination, maybe one within driving distance that could also be romantic? Who knows? You might end up planning a whole weekend. There are no rules! Forget about being conventional. Think outside the box together and see what you can dream up.

Finally, here’s the last secret. This brainstorming and planning session we’re talking about? It makes a surprisingly good date, itself. That’s right. Even as you and your guy plan out the perfect date, you’ll be experiencing a magical evening together.

Sneaky in a good way, huh?

Dating In A Long Term RelationshipYour relationship is unique. It’s 100% special. Different from all others. Treat it that way! Take the time to plan out the perfect date with your partner, and savor every minute of the experience, both in the planning and execution. If you do, stale, boring dates can be a thing of the past.

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8 thoughts on “The Perfect Date for Your Long Term Relationship

  1. Nancy McLoughlin said:

    Why not make that a first date idea as well? How fun it would be , to be that playful on a first date! What a great learning curve and advantage both would have for future surprises! Think of the insights you both would gain about each other’s interests? I can just imagine the next date?😉 Yes great idea!

    • James Bauer said:

      Good thinking, Nancy. 🙂

  2. Sally Sunday said:

    James, You are terrific! Great ideas. We have started having date nights every week or so, and it is really amazing after 41 years together. Newness. Even fun to think up new things to do that we never thought of before and to “plan” for it!

  3. Joyce said:

    Hi James. Thanks for the tips. I have thought of having surprises
    sometimes not letting them know where you are going, but you may have to tell them to have extra shoes or clothing. The first dates, the tips helps a lot.
    Thanks for helping us out on your information and tips. I enjoy reading them.

  4. Marta said:

    Great idea! It could be a fun way to help plan a second or third date, too. Thank you!

  5. susan said:

    Your date ideas are great, James. I plan on trying a few myself (maybe not
    the trip to Paris though!)

  6. Valerie said:

    James, this is a great idea!

    I am definitely going to do this, can’t wait.

    Thanks for your great content, always something new and worth reading. 🙂

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