As a dating consultant, I often get feedback from my clients about what seemed to help and what didn’t. Today I’m sharing one piece of advice that never fails to result in enthusiastic feedback from my clients. It’s so simple, it’s embarrassing.
Are you ready? Okay. Here it is. Don’t interrupt him when he’s talking. Practice listening until he completely finishes his thought and allow a deliberate pause in the conversation before you respond. This one change has resulted in more positive feedback than any other single training challenge I have given my clients.
Men don’t like for their sentences to be interrupted, even if you have an enthusiastic comment to make halfway through his sentence. Even if you totally agree with him, interruptions can cause slight feelings of frustration.
Men like to be heard and they enjoy the feeling of respect that comes from someone who deeply listens to them, valuing each word they say and patiently waiting for them to finish a thought.
But listening is not enough! Waiting your turn to respond is not enough either. People can read it on your face when you are biting your tongue in antsy anticipation of your turn to make a point. They can see it in the way you hold your breath or in the way your eyes dart around. Thinking about how you will respond is not deep listening. Deep listening means being fully present and giving your entire attention to what he is saying, rather than planning what you will say next.
After he has finished talking, allow for a deliberate pause of one or two seconds while looking at the table or the ground while you finish processing the last sentence he spoke. Then look up into his eyes as you begin to reflect on what you heard him say. This will create a fantastic first impression of a person who is present, warm, caring, and capable. These are elements of charisma that will cause you to stand out among the women he interacts with.
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