Think back to a sleepy Wednesday afternoon at work. On a day when you felt uninspired, your energy was low, and your mind was wandering aimlessly. Having trouble remembering a time like this? It may be hard to remember because it’s just not memorable.
In this article, we’re going to discuss an easy way to be more memorable to a guy you like.
People like to talk about time management. The simple truth is, time management comes down to a few simple principles like chunking your time, decreasing distractions, and then actually sticking with your priorities. Recently, however, personal development gurus have started to catch on to a growing trend. It’s energy management.
Energy management is all about conserving and focusing energy, not time. With peak energy, you can accomplish more in less time.
Forget time management. Think energy management.
When it comes to dating guys, the energy you bring to an interaction predicts the outcome better than the amount of time you spend talking with him.
Think back to a time when you were interacting with someone who had a buzz of energy. Maybe it was because of the fascinating topic they were focused on.
Think about the way their eyes move when they are really interested in what they are describing or the story they are relaying. Think about the vocal tones that carry their words. Think about their hand motions and the way they shift their feet as they talk.
When a person is interested in something, they come alive.
Here are two ways to put this insight to work. First, your own energy level will have a dramatic impact on how memorable you are.
One of the primary reasons has to do with the contagious effect of positive energy. When you talk about things you are interested in or passionate about, you naturally tap into your own energy and bring it to the surface. He will experience that energy. Your energy will make the interaction more interesting.
Here’s proof. It was a research study to see what happens when singles meet each other on a bridge overlooking a long drop.
College students were paired up for meetings with someone of the opposite gender. The study was rigged to give half of the research study participants a jolt of adrenaline while meeting someone. Here’s how they did it.
They had half of the couples meet on a bridge high above a gorge. The other half met on solid ground, just next to the bridge.
Coming from opposite sides of the bridge, the couple meets in the middle. As their eyes meet for the first time, there is something else going on as well. Their heart rate is faster than normal. They have “butterflies in their stomachs.” It’s because of the way heights affect people (even if they don’t notice it).
“Misattribution theory” predicts that the research subjects will misattribute their feelings of increased adrenaline to the social interaction. The research subjects meeting on the bridge will unconsciously interpret their own body’s reactions as feelings of romantic interest.
And that’s exactly what happened!
Follow-up on each couple revealed the powerful effect. Those who met on the bridge were far more likely to call the person they had been paired with. Adrenaline sparked a connection. When I say adrenaline, think energy.
So here’s the second “energy management” idea for your relationship. You want to spark his energy while he’s interacting with you.
This is one of the reasons why playful banter is often very effective in building an initial attraction between two people. Playful banter involves an edgy mode of interaction. You push the other person slightly outside their comfort zone (in a playful way). He has to stay on his toes and it becomes a fun game.
Not the witty type? That’s okay. If your personality is on the gentle side, you can tap into his energy by asking about topics he is passionate about or interested in. This takes a little more practice, but the effects can be significant.
Start practicing with questions like, “What do you do for adventure when you’re not busy working?”
This kind of question sometimes leads to topics that will be interesting to him. One easy way to do this is to get him into storytelling mode.
Story mode causes his mind to see the experience as he talks about it.
That’s where “misattribution” kicks in. He attributes the energy he’s feeling to you. Even thought part of that energy was actually sparked to life by the story he’s telling you.
That’s what we want. The conversation will be far more memorable to him. And this conversational skill will make you more memorable as a result.